Page 105 of Burning for Alexander
“I can’t keep doing this, Alex,” I cried, throwing out my arms in frustration. “I love you, and it’s killing me. You can’t be with me because it took you too long to get over me? The grief was toomuch? You want to know who mourned, Alex? Me! I mourned! Except I kept looking for you for over three years!”
He blinked at me and squinted through the freezing night air. “You love me?”
Before I could answer him, he wobbled a little and then face-planted right into the snow.
By the time I got to him, he was snoring peacefully, as if none of this had happened. As if I hadn’t poured my heart out to him. And yeah, that fucking hurt.
Instead of taking him inside, I shoved him in the back seat of my truck and drove him back to Timber, where I forced Tavo to help me get him into bed, prop him on his side with pillows and extra blankets, and leave an empty trash can nearby in case he woke up puking.
And then I went home and pulled out my laptop to search for last-minute plane fares to Pennsylvania for Christmas.
33
ALEX
Papa:I am so damned proud of you, Alex. Timber’s Grand Opening was fantastic because you’ve worked hard to make it an amazing community gathering spot. Your dad and I couldn’t be happier for you.
Dad:I made fun of Blue for bringing the travel pack of tissues to your opening night tonight. But he got the last laugh. I used every single one of them. You’re where you’re meant to be, Alex. And we are so proud. Love you.
_____________________
I woke up dead.Had to be death, anyway, because I couldn’t imagine anything worse.
“Get your ass up, Grape,” Ella muttered, smacking me on the leg through my bedcovers. “Grandma and Grandpa need our help out at the lodge and voluntold both of us. Apparently, Grandma and Aunt Ginger got it into their heads to do some last-minute holiday things, and we’re the free labor.”
I pulled the pillow over my face. “I’m happy to be disowned. Just tell them I can’t make it on account of personal death.”
Unfortunately, the death excuse didn’t work on her, and she forced me into the bathroom for a hot shower. When I didn’t come out, she threatened to come in and forcibly remove me. The thought of my sister intruding on my bodily privacy was enough to get me going.
The day turned out to be okay. I’d forced myself to put Mali in charge for the day since we were only open until four tonight to make up for how late last night had gone with the special tasting flights event. By noon, my hangover was under control, and by five, I was enjoying myself enough to be grateful I didn’t need to race back to Timber for the dinner rush.
Just as I was beginning to think of heading home for the night, a call came in from my uncle Joel.
“Hey,” I answered with a smile. “I heard you guys weren’t getting in till tomorrow. You need a pickup from the airstrip?”
“Nah, Simone’s got that worked out. Listen, my guys asked around at that club you told me about. Pinch?”
I frowned and headed to a corner of the lodge’s kitchen for a little privacy. “Yeah?”
“We couldn’t find the guy you guys met at the farmer’s market. The one who recognized Tavo. From what we found out, he doesn’t work at Pinch anymore. But my guy stuck around and partied, and in the past few weeks, he’s seen the judge there with random guys. We were just about to declare Tavo in the clear when my guy overheard the judge say something about Montana. So then my guy tries to get chatty with him and says, ‘Oh, I love Montana. I’ve spent a bunch of time there. Yellowstone and Glacier, right?’ And the judge asks what he knows about a little town north of Yellowstone called Legacy.”
I glanced across the kitchen, where Tavo was laughing andbumping shoulders with my cousin Rosie. “Shit, Joel. Judge Miller knows where Tavo is.”
“Yeah. But we don’t know what he’s planning to do about it. Until we can figure it out, tell Tavo to stay at the lodge, okay? I already called Derek, and he’ll be keeping an eye on him, but that’ll be easier if Tavo stays on Thomas and Rebecca’s property.”
Suddenly, the chipper mood I’d been forcing on myself all day faded away and left me disappointed and heartsick again. Nothing seemed to be going right.
I had a vague memory of spouting poetry in Judd’s front yard, but then I’d passed out. Tavo had said the chief had driven me home, but I’d been too embarrassed to ask if he knew what had happened before that.
The entire thing was mortifying, and I’d hoped that pretending it hadn’t happened would make it so.
It hadn’t.
And now this shit with Tavo. The poor guy was going to have to move again. Maybe if he went back to South Carolina with Maverick and Beau after Christmas, he could start over there. My cousin Gabe still lived there, and he could help Tavo meet people and find a job.
After checking in with Tavo and saying goodbye, I found Ella in the living room, playing Sequence with Uncle Derek.
“I’m headed out. Big day at work tomorrow. But I’ll see everyone at the Starlight Spectacular the day after.”
