Page 96 of Burning for Alexander
Alex very carefully ignored me, but he was a little less icy to Kaidee. It was a concession of sorts, and I appreciated it.
Blue and Tristan, on the other hand, treated me like family. Like they knew something everyone else didn’t. I wondered if they were particularly perceptive, or maybe Alex had broken down and said something to them. Either way, I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Alex himself clearly wanted to hate me, while his dads treated me like one of their own.
Every time one of them went out of his way to suggest a dish or ask if I needed another drink, Alex scowled. It became almost comical, honestly, because with every scowl, I realized that Alex Marian was anything but ambivalent toward me.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me at all. He clearlydid. It was that his care was focused on the negative right now while he processed his anger and grief.
What he didn’t know was that I had time. With age came wisdom, and I was wise enough to wait him out.
Because I wasn’t going anywhere.
And Alexander Marian was mine.
29
ALEX
To:Judd Kincaid
Re:Device/Access Request
We have requisitioned a replacement. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery.
_____________________
December blewin like a son of a bitch. I was angry all the time, and the only thing that seemed to open the pressure valve was taking sexual pleasure in my biggest enemy.
I knew exactly what Judd Kincaid was doing. He was waiting me out. Like I was going to change my mind eventually and give him another chance.
He was wrong.
Our fight had been a gift. I’d made the mistake of falling for a thrill-seeker once. Now I was preventing myself from making thatmistake again.
It was the weirdest possible coincidence that Judd had been put in my path twice, but now I could do what I should have done in the first place: look at things logically and rationally, and realize that I didn’t want to develop real feelings for someone whose job put his life in danger regularly.
I couldn’t handle it. It was as simple as that.
But sleeping with the man without letting myself fall for him? No problem. In fact, yes please. Sign me up.
The first week in December, I’d shown up at his place and insisted on sucking his dick. Not because I cared about him, obviously. But because I wanted more practice sucking a man off for when the time came that I was ready to jump back into the dating or hookup pool.
Did I get immense satisfaction from seeing his eyes roll back in his head and hearing his fists pound the wall behind him while I drove him quickly to orgasm? Yes, yes I did.
But again—and this was crucial—not because I cared about him at all. Only because it meant I was good enough to go out there and hook up with other guys without feeling like such a green newbie anymore.
Because I wasn’t. Thanks to Judd Kincaid, I was no longer a virgin or inexperienced. I was a regular guy who wasn’t intimidated by sex.
In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn’t need Judd to get off with. I could get off with anyone.
I could plan a motherfuckingCostco runup to Billings if I wanted.
So when an opportunity for a date with someone else practically landed in my lap, I took it.
Maddox was apparently working with a social media influencer from out of town, and the guy needed a date for an event hewas filming. The guy was hot. His Instagram was straight fire, and I was 100 percent here for it.
Probably.
I’d quickly agreed, reveling in my new life as a single guy who was absolutely up for dating new people.
