Page 79 of Burning for Alexander
“I love that you have gay dads. My parents were definitely not accepting. Don’t get me wrong, I loved them. But I’m not sure they would have been supportive if I’d been old enough and ready to come out to them.”
“Half my family’s gay,” he said. “The poor straights like my sisters always feel left out. My cousin Cami even dated a girl because she was convinced that she was probably at least bi. No dice. Couldn’t even fake it.”
We continued talking for another half hour until I noticed his eyes beginning to droop. “Get some sleep, Firebug,” I murmured. “Talk tomorrow?”
His smile was sweet. “Yeah. Night, Chief.”
I ended the call and sighed happily. When I closed the video app window, my email app was open behind it, showing a new email from Max’s private investigator friend. I assumed it was my final statement, so I opened it… and found something else entirely.
Judd,
You said to stop the investigation, but I already had several irons in the fire. One lead came back tonight. Don’t know if you still want it or not?
I tracked down the IP address of the target to Napa, CA. Specifically to a place called Alexander Vineyards. The same IP address showed up on quite a lot of social media traffic this evening, including Grindr, Flint, IG, FB, and TikTok. Unsure if the target works there, lives there, or attended an event there, although the idea he was carrying on regular conversations with you over a long period of time would indicate he lived or worked here.
The vineyard is owned by the Marian family. During the yearyou were in regular contact with DrunkenPoet, the legal residents of that property included Bartholomew (aka, Blue), Tristan, and Alexander Marian, as well as a live-in caretaker named Angie Rousseau. The only one of the four who took any fire certification classes during that time was Alexander. According to online records, he attained his ICS-100 during that time.
Let me know if you have further questions or would like me to re-open the search to get confirmation.
I stared at the screen, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.
Yes, Alex Marian was at his family’s vineyard in Napa. Yes, he and his friends and family had probably been using a ton of apps there tonight. But the connection toDrunkenPoet, to the investigator…
I thought back to the moment Alex picked up the call.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see…
What the actual fuck?
Ignore me. I get poetic when I drink.
My head spun as memories came flooding in. OfDrunkenPoetsaying he was expected to take over the family farm.Farm.
But wasn’t a vineyard essentially a farm? And had he even been the one to call it a farm, or had I misunderstood?
I thought back through almost a year of messages between me andDrunkenPoet, a year of getting to know someone who I was… now sleeping with? How was that possible? It wasn’t. It just fucking wasn’t.
I opened the forum where we’d originally met and had all of our conversations. They were still there, but his messages showed as sent from [Deleted User].
It took me hours to go through them all, looking for proof thatAlex Marian andDrunkenPoetcouldn’t possibly be the same person.
Instead, I heard Alex’s voice in every single one of them. The same sweet, teasing tone, the sometimes naive take on things like relationships and sex. The love of pizza and dislike of grapefruit.
I also saw my messages encouraging him to leave his family and pursue his own dreams.
Which he’d done.
He’d moved to Montana three years ago to open Timber.Three years ago.
I couldn’t even wrap my head around this. How was it possible?
I had to tell him. What would his reaction be?
Since I was here in Spokane for an important conference, I had to force myself to try and get some sleep. But when I finally fell asleep, it was to thoughts of what Alex had said about his ex. He’d been a firefighter who’d died.
I fell for him, hard. It’s silly because we didn’t know each other that well, but… we had an amazing connection.
Was it possible thatIwas Alex’s dead firefighter? And that he’d had real feelings for me even then, the way I had for him?
