Page 18 of Rehabbing the Beast
Chapter Ten
It was official, hethought as he paced his large, comfortable room. For the first time in his life, he was completely at a loss. Even the near total decimation of his body hadn’t left him feeling quite so shaken.
The beast, no longer content to sulk in the corner, paced back and forth within him.
His reality—or, as he was forced to admit, his perception of it—was flawed. The woman he thought of as meek and indifferent was actually a caring soul who had been forced to build walls around herself to survive a lifetime of abuse, both mental and physical. The therapist he’d thought was skilled turned out to be an honest-to-Godhealer. And most shocking of all, if Siobhan was correct, Quinn actually cared for him as more than a patient.
How was that possible? Even with the strides he’d made (thanks to her), he was still damaged goods. Damaged goods that had treated her so horribly when she had done nothing to deserve it...except wrap herself around his heart against his will and remind him of what he could never have.
But what if hecouldhave what his heart truly desired? What if, against all logic, Quinn could really be his? More importantly, that she would want to claim him as hers?
The very idea was life-altering. Epic.
The question now was, what was he going to do about it?
He’d always been a man with a strong sense of duty and purpose. There had always been a goal to achieve, a task to complete. It was one of the reasons he’d done so well in the military. Given an objective, he achieved it. The only thought involved was that required to get from one step to the next until the mission was accomplished. When one was done, he’d be assigned another.
Simple. Clean.Cold.
For the first time in his life, Seth doubted himself. It was hard to realize that nothing was what it seemed; hard not to question his own judgment. Even the beast was quiet, waiting to see what he would do next.
The clear sense of purpose he’d always taken for granted had deserted him. He knew what hewanted; that was easy enough: Quinn Brennan, in his arms, beside him, beneath him. He wanted to make her forget every bad thing that had ever happened to her until she could think of nothing but him and what he could makeherfeel for a change.
Except this wasn’t a one-time thing. The decision he made here, tonight, would affect his entire life. And not just his, either. More importantly, it would affect Quinn’s. If there was one thing Seth did know for certain, it was that he would not do anything that might cause Quinn even one more moment of pain or sadness. She’d had more than enough of both and it was well past time that someone changed that. But couldhebe that person?
There was no logic he could look to for guidance, because none of it made sense. Seth reached inside himself, searching for that familiar rage that had burned within him his entire life. Whenever he’d experienced a moment of uncertainty, he’d given himself over to that inner beast and let it rule. But that cold, angry beast was gone. It had disappeared the moment his lips had touched Quinn’s. That single kiss had done something nothing else had ever been able to do: it tamed the animal inside him.
The once snarling, savage beast now lay quietly, waiting, whimpering softly for Quinn. The heart he once thought incapable of loving anyone was now hopelessly in love with her. But was he good enough?
No, he answered. He wasn’t. He didn’t deserve her. And yet... she was giving him a chance, and he’d never wanted anything more in his life.
Seth dropped on the bed and covered his face with his hands. He had a lot of thinking to do.
* * *
AFEW MILES AWAY, QUINNsat in the comfortable chair with blankets tucked around her legs and a bottomless glass of brandy in the other. Rory kept her company while Malcolm and Siobhan talked quietly. From what she could gather—and this made no sense to her at all—Seth O’Rourke had some kind of blood ties to the MacDougals. Even more confusing, it sounded as though Siobhan had issued Seth an ultimatum.
The more alcohol Quinn imbibed, the clearer things became. Siobhan knew exactly who Seth was. More importantly, she knewwhatSeth was to Quinn. Her heartmate. Hercroie. Just as the healing gift was passed down from one generation to another, so was the ability to recognize a true soul mate. The one man who was capable of bonding with her on a level so deep and pure that even the most romantic of poetry couldn’t do it justice. A man strong enough to handle the magic and ensure the bloodline continued.
It was not something a gifted woman could control. Whatever phenomena gave her the ability to heal and nurture also subconsciously analyzed every male she came in contact with, searching for whatever it was that made two souls so perfectly bondable.
The moment Quinn had first put her hands on Seth O’Rourke, the search was over.
Unfortunately, none of that mattered. Despite her soul’s completely insane insistence that Seth was the one for herandher grandmother’s meddling, Seth O’Rourke would not be appearing at her door tomorrow at high noon to ask for her hand in marriage. The very idea was absurd. Seth despised her.
But that kiss... that had been something. She had no idea a kiss could be likethat. The softest brush across her lips and then—boom! It was as if her mind had exploded and she’d lost her ability for rational thought. For those few seconds—or had it been minutes?—nothing else had existed. Without conscious thought, she had felt herself flowing into him, desperate and hungry for the haven she so craved, for the inner peace her soul believed only he could give her.
For those few moments, it had been so glorious even Quinn had started to believe in the possibilities.
Then he’d asked her to push him away.
Afterward, he had stood there in silence, doing nothing when Rory lifted her into his arms protectively and carried her away. If Seth truly was her heartmate, wouldn’t he have tried to stop Rory? Wouldn’t he have felt compelled to help her instead of allowing another man do so? Wouldn’t he at least havesaidsomething?
Her head pounded and her chest ached. She didn’t want to accept the most obvious answer, the answer she had come to accept long ago: Seth O’Rourke was not interested in her.
Quinn sighed and closed her eyes, willing the tears not to fall. He was probably already long gone.
