Page 62 of Secret Nights and Northern Lights
I pick up the provided bottle of soap, and we spend the next few minutes not so muchshoweringas running our soapy hands all over each other’s bodies. Worshipping and relearning at the same time.
“All clean,” I finally say, and Ben takes hold of the back of my neck and pulls me into a kiss beneath the spray. I lean into him,my breasts against his chest and his erection pressed between us, and as much as we might want to go slow and sweet, I don’t think either of us are capable of it.
“I love your mouth,” Ben tells me, cradling my face and sweeping his tongue across my lower lip. “I could kiss you forever.”
Undoubtedly, those words will replay over and over in my head later. But right now, I’m too consumed with want to overanalyze any possible meaning behind them.
Pulling back from our kiss, I drop to my knees. “Maybe I can make you love my mouth even more.”
“Ems, you don’t have to.” His hands come to rest on my shoulders, holding me back from him.
“Iwantto.” I bat his hands away. “If we’re doing this, I want everything from you tonight.”
He studies me, and I can see in his eyes we’re both thinking some version of the same thing. Years ago, the one and only time we were together, we were two shy teenagers without much idea what we were doing and who lacked any sense of confidence about our bodies. Now we’re all grown up and experienced, and with the way Ben makes me feel desired, I know exactly what I want from him, and I’m not afraid to vocalize it.
I take him in my mouth, twirling my tongue around his sensitive tip, a string of curses and broken breaths unleashed from above. Then his hands are twisting in my wet hair, and I’m taking him deep in my throat and squeezing my hand tighter around his base, wanting to give him every ounce of pleasure that I can.
But he stops me again and pulls me back to my feet, swearing he’ll never last if I keep it up.
“My turn,” he tells me right before he lifts me and settles me on the tiled window ledge, “and I want you to watch every second.”
Across from us, the bathroom mirror is completely fogged up by now, so he steps out of the shower and quickly wipes it down with a towel before returning and dropping to his knees in front of me. Spreading my legs, he starts planting kisses on the inside of my left knee, working his way upward over my inner thigh.
The first time his tongue slides lightly over my center in a barely-there tease, my hips arch and a strangled cry emerges from the back of my throat that sounds more animal than human. As his delicious mouth continues its mission, my gaze never strays from the image of us in the mirror, the back of Ben’s head working between my thighs, his broad, muscled shoulders spreading my knees as he clutches my ankles and holds my legs apart. My shoulder blades press into the window as my back curves, one of my hands buried deep in Ben’s hair, the other pressed to the steamed glass above my head. Rivulets of hot water stream down my chest, my pink nipples tight and wet.
I will not last.
No one in my situation possibly could.
“Ben, you’re going to make me come already,” I pant.
He pauses to look up at me through thick lashes. “Would that be so bad?” Another slow slide of his tongue over me while his green eyes stay glued to mine. “You taste so fucking good, Ems, and I promise I’ll do it again and again.” Then he sucks my clit between his lips, and the pressure in my lower belly nearly explodes.
“Ben.” I push at his shoulder with my knee until I have his attention again. (Or at least my face has his attention again.) “This might be a request with a lot of meaning behind it that neither of us are ready to examine yet…” His brows knit together as I hesitate. “…But it’s beenfourteen years, and I want to come with you fully inside me. Please.”
Something softens in his eyes, and he rises from his knees to take my face in his hands. “Ems, you can have anything you want from me.”
He presses his lips to mine in a soft kiss before shutting off the water. Then he grabs the towel hanging next to the open shower door and wraps it around my shoulders. I clench it tight as he retrieves a second one and starts drying off. I don’t know what’s happening exactly, but I know things aren’t stopping here, so I move off the window ledge and squeeze the excess water from my hair.
Ben takes my hand, towel clenched at his waist, and leads me to the bedroom.
At the side of the bed, he undoes my towel and lets it drop to the floor, followed by his own. Then we’re kissing, and my heart is thundering in my chest like it’s the very first time all over again.
I pull him down with me as I fall onto the pillowy mattress. He props himself up on his forearms, and the view of him above me, after all these years, constricts my throat.
“I never thought we’d end up here again,” he says, echoing my thoughts. He kisses my mouth, then my cheek, then my jaw.
“I guess fate had other plans for us,” I answer, trying to keep the emotion from my voice.
Ben kisses tenderly down my throat and chest, his mouth eagerly exploring every part of me.
As a writer who deals in words as a profession, I don’t have any for what’s happening between me and Ben right now. I’ve never experienced this overwhelming desire mixed with this intensity of emotion. Everything in me wants more of him, like no matter how close we get, it will never be enough. I want to be imprinted on him, and him on me.
Tears sting my eyes at the same time he elicits pleasure from every part of me he touches. My nails dig into his shoulders as he moves his mouth from one breast to the other, my back arching to get even more of his touch.
When I’m to the point I might come from this alone, Ben slides back up and kisses my mouth open, whispering, “I have a condom in my wa—”
“I have an IUD.” The statement flies from my mouth so fast that Ben pulls back to look at me, uncertain. “I mean, I’m just putting that out there for informational purposes. We don’t really need the condom. Unless you want it. Which is absolutely fine if you do. I totally understand. Everything is good either way. No worries.”
