Page 21 of Secret Nights and Northern Lights
His fingertips press gently against the side of my neck to tilt my head, and the pad of his thumb lands at the hinge of my jaw, his skin warm against mine as he gently swipes at the patch of silica.
I want to pull away.
No, that’s a lie.
I know Ishouldpull away, but my knees are too weak for movement, lest my legs give out completely and I drown right here in the most beautiful setting I’ve ever laid eyes on. What a publicity nightmare that would be forCal.
“Ben…” The word puffs past my lips, intended as a warning but sounding more like a plea, as a new type of heat—or maybe an old one—awakens inside me.
“Almost got it.” Green eyes lift from my cheek, our gazes merging like two moths drawn to a flame, unable to resist the danger ahead.
I may not have seen Ben Carter for fourteen years, but the man grew up with me in such close confines that there’s no wayhe can’t read every single one of my thoughts when he looks at me like this. As much as I want to pretend he doesn’t know me anymore, we both know it’s a lie. The kind of connection we had doesn’t just go away, no matter the time that’s separated us. When he looks at me, reallylooksat me the way he does now, I know he’ll always see straight into my soul. The same way I see into his.
“Ben,” I repeat, seeming to have lost all other words.
He comes another step closer, still cupping my face, and those brilliant green eyes fall to my mouth.
I recognize this look. I’ve been on the receiving end of it many times before. As steam curls around us instead of between us now, the warm water only intensifies the heat building in my core.
But when Ben’s thumb grazes my lower lip, I plummet back to reality, and all the reasonsthiscan’t happen burst into the forefront of my brain at once.
I jerk away from him, announcing, “This can’t happen!” way too loudly for the tranquil setting.
Moment effectively shut down, Ben’s arm falls back below the water’s surface as he quickly backsteps to put several feet of space between us again. Likely because I shouted at him. “Whatcan’t happen exactly?”
“You were about to kiss me,” I proclaim. “Thatcan’t happen.”
“You thought I was going tokissyou?” His brows pinch in confusion. “No, you just have more silica below your lip.”
Oh.Oh!“Oh…”
My hand darts to my mouth, and sure enough, the pad of my middle finger lands directly on the telltale sandpapery texture. What the hell do they put in this stuff, superglue?
“Oh,” I repeat, completely mortified. Honestly,mortifiedisn’t a strong enough word, but I don’t think a strong enough word exists for what I feel in this moment. “I’m so sorry. I thought you…Never mind.”
Ben stares at the water between us, refusing to look at me. “No, it was my fault. I mean, I’m sure it looked like I was going to—”
“Nope, no need to apologize. It was clearly my mis—”
“I mean, it’s not like that would be a huge reach, given our history.”
“Our history was fourteen years ago, Ben. So, yeah, pretty huge reach on my part.”
We fall into a silence so uncomfortable it makes my skin itch all over. Frankly, I blame the Blue Lagoon for my lapse in judgment, this place is practically an aphrodisiac for the eyes.
“You know,” Ben says timidly, “maybe we should just talk about it and get it over with.”
Nope, nope, nope.
Clearly, it’s time to establish some boundaries. For both our sakes.
I paste on my professionalNo Worries!smile. “I’m sorry about my reaction just then. That was uncalled for, and I clearly misinterpreted the situation. But I’m here to do my job, that’s it. Which means I don’t want to discuss the past with you. Not now, not ever.”
Ben eyes me with a wary expression like he doesn’t know the person delivering this speech. Which is exactly what I intended. “Mona, it’s me. You can let your guard down a little. We don’t have to pretend we don’t know each other in order to do our jobs.”
“Understandably,” I continue as if he hasn’t spoken, “I probably sent some mixed signals when I held your hand on the plane, and that’s completely my fault, but you rescued me once and I wanted to repay the debt. That’s all it—”
“Repaythe debt?” he echoes, expression morphing into a mixture of hurt and incredulity. “Like saving you from that trunk when we were kids is something I’d hold over your head decades later?”
