Page 12 of Secret Nights and Northern Lights
Now, with Ben at my side, I glance his way and try to convince myself I’ve been overreacting by letting him affect me so acutely. The monster cannot be as scary when you look him in the eyes. The big, round, apple green eyes.
“Why wouldn’t I be ready?” I huff in a sharp tone because defensiveness is a real bitch to overcome.
Ben returns his attention to the bar and swallows a long sip of water. “Just making conversation.”
Fuck.I’ve got to do a better job at masking my resentment and immaturity. I’m a professional, damn it. I can do this. Softening my voice, I say, “Lovely day today, wasn’t it? Can you believe tomorrow is the first day of September? August just flew right by.” God. Now I’m talking about the calendar. Pathetic.
Echoing that sentiment, Ben flashes me a quizzical look. “Sure?”
Wiping my sweaty palms against my leggings—which I think I put on…yesterday?—I refocus once again. Since I’m clearly not getting any research on Iceland done, I can at least get a start on the recruitment effort. Which, if I’m honest, isn’t working well in my favor so far. If anything, my odd behavior has cast me into negative territory, and at minimum I need the pendulum to swing back in the direction of neutral. “Ben, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.” He keeps his gaze straight ahead, so I twist on my stool and face his profile.
“WhyAround the Globe? Why now?”
The question is one that’s been ping-ponging off the walls of my brain since Friday morning in Calvin’s office, never coming into sharpened focus until now. Benjamin Carter can have his choice of publications. Hell, with his Instagram following alone he could probably hawk a few products or start a YouTube channel and be set for life.Around the Globeis a well-respected publication and all, but for someone featured numerous times inNational Geographic, something doesn’t add up.
“The assignment’s easy,” he states, matter-of-fact, as he fidgets with the cuff of his jacket. “Cal’s been calling for a long time, and it’s a short trip compared to most assignments I take on.” He lifts a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. “Ten days and then I’ll be able to edit from Mom’s house while I finish getting things packed up.”
Since we’ve accomplished saying more than two normal sentences to each other, I take that as a positive sign and press further. “Are you looking to joinAround the Globepermanently? Calvin seems pretty thrilled about you taking on this assignment.”
“No,” he scoffs with an air of condescension that raises my hackles. “This is a one-and-done kind of thing.”
Ben’s dismissiveness of my employer combined with hisone-and-donewording plucks a deep-seated nerve, and just as I feared, myNo Worries!mask slips out of place and crashes to the floor. “And why is that?” I demand, voice rising sharply. “BecausetheBenjamin Carter is too good for our measly publication? His high standards could not possibly be lowered to cavorting with such amateurs on a permanent basis?” Drawing looks from the glassy-eyed businessmen nearby, I stand and shove my barstool under the countertop, slinging the strap of my duffel bag over myshoulder in the process. “Oris it because you just can’t commit, Ben? You always were aone-and-donekind of guy, weren’t you?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
The instant the words leave my mouth I want to pluck them from the air and stuff them back in. Swallow them down with the stiff drink I admonished Ben for partaking in.
As for Ben, he stares at me now, eyes wide as a muscle ticks in his clenched jaw. “Mona, that’s not…” He hesitates, eyes shifting about as he looks exceedingly uncomfortable. “I mean…I’m not…Are we talking about—”
“Forget it,” I cut him off. “I have work to do before we board.”
Then I make my way across the terminal, slump into a chair facing away from the bar, and pull out my laptop. I better get focused real fucking fast. This article needs to knock Calvin’s argyle socks off his feet, because I’m pretty sure my recruitment effort just went up in flames.
* * *
Two and a half hours later, my short-lived attempt at distance is shattered as we clamber on board and locate our side-by-side seats in the main cabin.Around the Globetypically shells out the cash for first-class tickets for the Internationals, again something us Locals can only dream of from our seats in basic economy or, more often, the driver’s seat of a two-door budget rental car. However, there was a snafu in the rebooking process with the last-minute changes to the trip, so here we are among the masses, but at least we’re in an exit row with only two seats so there won’t be a stranger who has to suffer through our inevitable awkwardness.
After wrangling my luggage into the overhead compartment—because I refuse to let Ben help despite his impatient huffing at my back—I claim the window seat before it’s up for discussion. Ben carefully tucks his backpack beside my duffel and closes the compartment with a flick of his wrist. Then he’s in the ocean blue seat beside me, his thigh so close to mine they’re practically touching.
As a Local, I usually meet up with my photographer onsite, and one thing I hadn’t thought to worry about (until this very moment) is the unavoidable intimacy of traveling internationally with someone.
But it’ll befine.
Separate hotel rooms, after all!
What could go wrong?
Unfortunately, Ben’s clean cotton scent doesn’t play fair, drifting into my space along with the smell of the cinnamon gum he feverously works with his jaw. My stomach flips in traitorous response at the specific familiarity of it all, and I know I’m a complete fool.
Ben stiffens in his seat next to me, and I wonder if he’s thinking some version of the same thing. Then again, he seems perfectly cool and completely unaffected by this trip together, so he likely isn’t thinking about me at all. He’s probably just uncomfortable in the main cabin seat when his broad, six-two frame is used to first-class luxury.
“Sorry about the seats,” I say, not wanting Ben to think Calvin doesn’t provide nice amenities forAround the Globestaff, even though for most of us he doesn’t. Despite my earlier offense at his seeming snub of my employer, the truth isI’mnot even sure why someone as successful and well-known as Ben would everchoose to work forAround the Globe. So I’m already fighting an uphill battle here without putting Calvin’s faults on display. “I’m sure you’re much more of an enter-the-plane-and-turn-left guy, but there was a booking issue since we were last-minute fill-ins.”
“It’s fine,” he replies shortly.
Okay then.
