Page 66 of Five Years
“How long do you have?”
“I have an hour’s drive home with a sleeping baby as company, so I’ve got plenty of time.”
Here we go,Leah thought.
In the dark solitude of her bedroom, Leah sprawled across her soft sheets. Her body tensed, her thighs tightening together to try and encourage the pulsating. In her dream, she found herself in a familiar setting—in her old Michigan apartment.
Ariana was walking from the bathroom to the foot of the bed, wearing the white towelling robe they purchased from a hotel in New York. The ends of her curly hair held the perspiration. Her face was a shiny golden-brown. Leah walked over and brushed her fingertips down the length of Ariana’s exposed torso, pushing the robe to either side.
In the dreamscape, she pulled Ariana’s body towards hers. She felt the warmth of her skin. The rhythm of Ariana’s heart syncing with her own. Each kiss was infused with the passion and tenderness they used to share. There was no conversation, no explanation—only kissing.
Leah allowed Ariana to touch her; she knew what she needed, what she liked, how she liked it. Sex had never been an issue for them. The Ariana in her dreams was even more confident, using every part of her body to cause Leah unmatched arousal. The teasing continued; her fingers traced the familiar lines of Ariana’s body as she pushed her fingers inside Leah. With every nerve ending ignited, she succumbed to her desires.
As the first light of dawn began to seep into her consciousness, the dream started to slip away.
Leah’s eyes opened.
Shit.
“I really need to stop doing that,” she muttered.
It was the third night in a row. The arousal lingered, leaving her with a bittersweet ache. She reached over into her bedside drawer. The small purple vibrator she purchased in last year’s Black Friday sales would help her forget all about Ariana.
It didn’t.
All she did was think of Ariana whilst she very quickly reached a climax.
There was something magical about New York in December. Almost everyone you came across had a slight spring in their step—not normally associated with the heavily corporate and tourist-driven state. The countless lights and festive decorations added an elevated sparkle to an already bright city. Leah struggled to think of a place that matched New York’s charm at Christmas. From the Rockefeller Christmas tree to the dazzling store-front windows on Fifth Avenue, there was a show to put on for the world—and nobody did it better than NYC.
The corporate Christmas party was a week away. Leah had been tasked with organising the event with two weeks’ notice and a fairly basic budget. Before she could worry about the finer details, she had a back-to-back diary for two solid days. Her father was adamant she join him for all his meetings in the run-up to Christmas, insistent on her learning the ropes. He wouldn’t allude to a retirement plan, but Leah had a feeling he wanted to be free of suits, leather shoes, and unnecessary wrinkles within the next five years.
Leah could handle the people-relations side of things. She could source new business, strategically plan for the future, take meetings, and articulate herself in a concise and educated manner; she was confident in her ability to get the job done for the most part. However, running a company in such an ever-changing and fiercely competitive city required a person who could take risks—that was the part Leah struggled with. The acceptance of uncertainty was a quality Leah didn’t possess. It made her uneasy. She was confident and decisive when sheneeded to be, but was she bold enough to really acknowledge her fears and redefine failure?
Certainly not in her personal life.
She failed to truly acknowledge her deepest fear; instead, she pretended to those close to her that she was happy, that her life was finally starting to make sense.
She had purpose.
She had career goals—sort of.
She was living in a city she’d always dreamed of—albeit alone. And the numerous failed attempts at relationships after Ariana didn’t yield much of her energy, because deep down she was content being alone—or at least she convinced herself she was.
Her deepest fear—
What if she never got over Ariana?
Leah left the meeting room after a quick-fire gathering with the marketing team. She called on their services for a number of company awards she wished to present at the Christmas party. Their whole job was to essentially create content and make things look appealing; they obliged once Leah informed them of the company bonus awarded to each winner and the specific marketing award for best creative content. There were only four people in the team, so the odds worked in their favour.
The floor’s new coffee machine roared to life as the majority of people went for their midday refuel. Layla in accounts handed a folder to Leah as she passed by, like she was being served.
“Last month’s numbers don’t look good. We need to review some of the controllable costs,” she advised in the monotone voice she was known for.
“Okay, I’ll take a look.”
She barely made it past the next row of desks when Stacey spun around in her chair.
“Leah, personalised consultations for Life Insurance are through the roof. Word of our free initial appointment hasspread like wildfire. Should we revoke it until we catch up? My diary is full until the middle of January.”
