Page 70 of Five Years
“You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“It’s not about what I’ve done, it’s about how I feel.”
Leah nervously bit her lip, her heart racing.
“This—” Ariana gestured between them. “This connection is something I knew I wouldn’t be able to deny. Why do you think I avoided you for all those years after we broke up? It hit me all at once, the second I saw you at the fundraiser, it hit me.”
The urge to lean in was almost overwhelming.
“What about Hannah? It wouldn’t be fair to do this to her.”
Ariana’s expression changed. She longed for Leah, but she understood the consequences of that longing.
“I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. Me and Hannah, we haven’t been right for a long time,” Ariana admitted.
“But she proposed to you?” Leah questioned.
“And I was just as surprised as you. We haven’t slept in the same room for nearly two months.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Ariana closed her eyes, grappling with her emotions. Leah placed her hand on the side of her face, the touch causing goosebumps to cover her arms.
“I don’t understand.”
“At first work was the excuse—she was getting in late and didn’t want to disturb me—but I think at some point we both realised that we preferred our own company. She tried to sleep back in the same bed last week and it felt unnatural.”
She felt awful for feeling it, but the revelation shifted her perspective. Suddenly, she had this glimmer of hope.
“I miss you,” Leah whispered.
Her heart raced as she fought the urge to close the gap. Ariana’s intense stare caused her breath to hitch.
“I miss you too.”
She searched Ariana’s eyes for clarity.
“What do we do now?” Leah asked, her voice trembling. “Do we just pretend we don’t feel this way?”
Ariana shook her head. “I can’t do that.”
“Then what?”
“We figure it out. Take things slow. I need to talk with Hannah.”
Leah nodded, a single tear escaping down her cheek. Ariana gently wiped it away with her thumb, their connection more evident now than ever before.
“I’m scared to lose you again,” Leah said.
Ariana leant forward, her forehead pressing against Leah’s. “I’m not going anywhere.”
The moment felt like it could turn into something more. Her gaze averted to the lock on the inside of the meeting room door, then to the control to the left of the external windows that would soon shut out the world outside. She had access to the CCTV cameras; she could soon disable those. It really wouldn’t take much at all to carve out enough privacy to allow Ariana to strip her naked and have her way with her on the sturdy wooden table.
In fact, it would feel exhilarating—it would feel like she was twenty-two again, when she gave zero fucks about what was deemed appropriate to do in a public space. If only being led by her libido was an option. Now, she was too emotionally intelligent through years of experience.
Ariana pulled back, her resolve firm. “I should go.”
Leah nodded, a bittersweet smile on her lips.
