Page 42 of Choose Us
“Oh my God, I got stung too! I think I was about seven though. I remember a bowl cut and a horrible carpet looking hat. Anyway, stop distracting me.” She tapped her fingerson the sink.
“We didn’t do anything last night, but––” I dropped the toothbrush back in the holder and tied the towel tighter around my body. “We did this morning.” I scrunched my face and closed my eyes, waiting for the audible gasp, which came very quicklyfollowed by.
“Are you fucking crazy?” Beth stood up and paced back and forth within the enclosed bathroom space.
“Probably,”I admitted.
“You are. You’re literally crazy. Do you like to cause yourself pain? There must be part of your brain that’s wired up wrong. Instead of running for the hills like you should, or even better, getting eaten by a black bear, you fraternise with the enemy.” She shook her head dramatically.
“I know.” I sat on the edge of the bath. I found Beth ranting and pacing amusing, but I knew she was right.
“You don’t know. You wouldn’t do it if youknew. I didn’t believe you’d be that much of an idiot. I thought you’d go and spend the day with her, realise she isn’t all she’s cracked up to be, and go home and marry Francesca, have beautiful little Italian babies with dark features to die for and live happily ever after.” She used hand gestures channelling her inner Italian.
“What’s the plan now? Are you going to keep sleeping with her for the next ten days, like some holiday romance, and just go back to London and move on? We both know you won’t be able to do that,” Beth said, still pacing.
“I’m damaged.”It was true.
“Yep, agreed. Would I be surprised if your mum said she dropped you on your head as a child? No, not atthis stage.”
“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” I buried my headin my hands.
I wanted to only feel joy when I thought of Brooke, but the devastating pain she’d caused me emotionally was as fresh as the dayshe’d left.
“I’m basically the damaged parcel that turns up after the DPD driver has launched it around his van all day—That’s me.” I tried to laugh, but there were tears, which turned into this peculiar half laugh half cry I’d only ever experienced on one other occasion—when Brooke left thefirst time.
“You’re not a damaged parcel.”
“I am. They might as well send me back to the depo and launch me in the bin.” I sulked.
Beth sat beside me on the edge of the bath and intertwined her fingers with mine.
“Look at me. You are not a damaged parcel.” She tried to keep a straight face but burst out laughing after realising how stupid theanalogy was.
“You’re the box that comes with contents wrapped in bubble wrap and fragile tape; you’re sturdy and strong, and not only perfectly pristine on the outside, but pretty beautiful on the inside too.” Beth wiped a tear from my eye as I placed my head on her shoulder.
“So, I’m like a designer box then?”
“Exactly,” she said. “Like what a new Louis Vuitton bag would come in.”
“Okay, I can deal with that.”I sniffled.
“On another note, was it good?”
I looked up at Beth. “Really?”
“What? You’ve already made the mistake. I just want to know if it was worth it.” She shrugged.
I blushed.
“No need, I can tell by your face.” She nudged me. “I know you wantto tell me.”
“It just felt right, as if we’d gone back in time, and nothing had changed between us. Even when we bickered, even then, I still felt more alive than I’ve ever felt with anyone else. It’s hard to explain.” I looked away, wiping the remaining tears from my face.
“You bickered, huh?”
“We had a full-blown argument about her dad being a controlling ass wipe.”
“It does feel like we’ve gone back in time,”Beth joked.
