Page 63 of Choose Us
Pfft.
Clarity. Deep down I was well aware that was bullshit. My perception wasn’t clear. I still didn’t understand why I wasn’t enough, but on the flip side, as I strolled towards the bar, I didn’t want to ruin whatever time we had left together, especially not with questions that could never be answered in my favour. I’d accepted my fate without her in it. I tried not to see this time with her as a setback. Instead, it was the inevitable endingwe deserved.
I rounded the final corner to where I knew I would see her. There were two customers sat by the bar. A young man was serving fancy cocktails at lightning speed, but there was no sign of Brooke. As I approached, I held the flowers behind my back. I was mindful of the embarrassment I’d feel if she wasn’t present.
“What can I get you?” asked the man behind the bar. He had kind eyes and quick reflexes. He caught a glass tumbling off the bar as he finished his question. Between serving one customer and taking instruction from the waitress, he managed to attend to me;he was good.
“Good catch.” I said.
“It happens too often.” He smiled.
“I’m lookingfor Brooke.”
He nodded in acknowledgment. “And you are?”
Who was I?What was I?
“Just an old friend.” I smiled.
He must’ve spied the flowers sticking out from behind my back because his gaze flickered to the left. I pulled them back in line, concealing them as best I could.
Why did I have to buy the big bunch?
“She just left. Takara picked her up.”
“Oh.” I looked at my watch. She must’ve finished early. “Do you know which way they went?” I asked.
“Through the exit over there on the right.” He pointed at the illuminated neon exit sign with a straw. It was hard to miss. “There’s a carpark out back. If you go quickly, you mightcatch them.”
“Thank you.”
“Pleasure.” He grinned before knocking over some juice. He was sweetbut clumsy.
I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed a text message. The message from that morning clearly said,I finish at eight.
I made my way out to the parking lot. I passed five or six people, but there was no sign of Brooke. I considered going back inside. Her friend, Takara, probably didn’t know about me. A random girl turning up with flowers would require some explanation from Brooke, explanation she wouldn’t want to give. I wasn’t there to make her life harder than it needed to be.
I heard a woman’s voice from the other side of a large concrete pillar. It sounded English. It was distorted slightly by the echo, but it had to be Brooke. As I got closer, I heard an unfamiliar woman’s voice, and their conversation cameinto focus.
“Why? Were you hoping for someone different?” the unfamiliarwoman asked.
“Don’t start this again, Takara.”
The responsewas Brooke.
I was almost behind the pillar now, still out of sight, but edging closer to their conversation. I should’ve revealed myself; it wasn’t polite to eavesdrop.
The conversation sounded heated. They were arguing, but trying to make out the whole conversation was difficult. Only when Takara raised her voice did I get the gist. I placed my back againstthe column.
What do I do now? I thought.
This was a terrible idea, but I was stuck. More people made their way across the parking lot. One or two of them casually glanced my way. They probably thought I was trying to steal a car until they saw the flowers. Then each person smiled politely. I noted that down for future reference. If ever I’m defending someone who committed grand theft auto and they were carrying flowers; itwas a ploy.
I bet they thought I must be surprising someone. They wouldn’t be wrong. It was a surprise alright, but for me. I heard the car door open and close. I had to wait it out. Once they left the parking lot, I could take the flowers home to Beth.
I felt seedy hiding away. I was thirty years old. I shouldn’t still feel like someone’s secret. I rolled my head against the concrete pillar—waiting. The car engine didn’t start. I heard Brooke’s voice as clear as day.
“Can we just discuss this later, please?”
