Page 60 of Choose Us
“Youknow I did.”
Brooke let go of my necklace and moved her other hand to the opposite side of my neck. She pulled my face down to meet hers. Our lips locked, and they remained that way. With each soft movement our lips intertwined effortlessly; neither of us had to adjust. It was as if our lips knew they were made forthat moment.
There was no sign of the anxious panicked demeanour I’d become accustomed to in London. She didn’t seem concerned word could get back to her father or her brother on my presence and our rendezvous. Strange really.
After a couple of minutes, we pulled back and I said what I wanted to say.
“I wish things could be different. I wish this didn’t have to end. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering what if.” I sighed.
“What if?” she responded.
“What if I let the love of my life walk away.” I cupped her cheek with my hand. That perfect face.
“I’m scared Brooke.”
“I’m scared too,” she whispered.
“I’m scared that after today I may never see you again. I’m scared you’ll marry someone else, have children, and live a life I will never be a part of.” I turned to face the river. I didn’t want her tosee me cry.
“Don’t do that. Don’t hide from me.”
“Most of all, I’m scared I will spend the rest of my life hoping and praying you’ll comeback to me.”
The emotions overwhelmed me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear out my heart, so I couldn’t feel anymore.
“Holly.” Tears fell from Brooke’s eyes. I was transported back to Nina’s Cafe, to our final goodbye, to the moment I knew my life would never be thesame again.
History was about to repeat itself. “I am so sorry.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. We’ve done this several times before.” The pain was too much to bear.
“It doesn’t make it any easier,” Brooke snivelled.
“I’m ready to go back now.”
Brooke placed her head into my neck. The cold, wetness of her tears seeped into my skin.
Was I naive to have hope?
Would I ever stop wishing she’d change her mind?
Maybe, maybe not.
Timewould tell.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The wooden breakfast bar in Beth’s apartment almost had elbow marks from the position I’d held all morning. I was slumped on the bar with my hands propping up my chin. My appetite was none-existent. Even the temptation of the leftover melon pan had no effect. My hair was stuck to the back of my neck, making it so disgustingly greasy, Beth suggested I take a warm-up shower before my actual shower.
I’d barely slept. I didn’t think it would be any different. The day before ended awkwardly. It was uncomfortable, but not in a horrible kind of way. It was more of a, “I’ve just been hit by a bus”, realisation. Seeing Brooke was probably the worst idea I’d ever had, and it would undoubtably set me back for the next twelve months.
When I’d arrived home, I explained all to Beth. After the initial, slightly brutal commentary, she was as supportive as she ever was. She kicked Ren out and spent the evening stroking my hair whilst we watched reruns ofGrey’s Anatomy. It didn’t stop the ache completely, but the doctors and nurses at Grey’s had way bigger problemsthan I did.
Brooke sent me a text message at midnight with a single heart emoji. She sent another at 2 a.m. that said,I love you. I didn’t reply at first, but trying to ignore her would only keep me awake longer, so I eventually sent a heart back and fell asleep for the nextthree hours.
The sweet smell of pancakes should’ve been enough to bring me back to life. The lingering vanilla smell, sweet maple syrup, and freshly baked cake, ordinarily would fill me with pure delight, especially knowing Beth had made them, but not today.
Beth placed her plate in the sink and pulled one out for me. “I knew the smell of pancakes would get you up.” I regretted to inform her that I’d been up all night.
