Page 44 of Choose Us
“I have loved every minute.” It wasn’t a complete distraction, as I checked my phone for the fiftieth time that day. No reply. I knew Brooke was working, but I felt sad when I didn’t see her name on my screen.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do tomorrow?”Beth asked.
We hadn’t decided when she’d asked me that morning, and due to Brooke’s lack of contact there was still no definitive answer.
“Nope.” I shrugged. “I’m thinking food though, something that just involves eating and drinking all day,” I said as I devoured my chocolate cake.
“Good idea. Tsukiji Market would be a great place to start. Me and Ren used to go a lot when we lived closer to the centre. Oh my god, they do the best omelette, but you do have to get there early to avoid queues.”
Beth placed her hand to her mouth. “I feel...” She retched. “I don’t think eggs will be a favourite of mine throughout this pregnancy.” Beth grabbedher coffee.
She’d almost thrown up the night before when I devoured some sushi in front of her.
“Okay, so no omelette for you then.”
“I’m not exactly selling this to you. Wait, I have a picture on my feed somewhere.” She searched her phone, and within seconds flashed a picture of what looked like a slab of butter in a tray, but apparentlyit was egg.
“It looks...different.”
“Trust me, just try some.”
I was grateful for whatever distraction Beth could provide, and if that involved slabs of egg and retching, then so be it.
The anticipation I felt for the following day was so much more than I’d hoped to feel. Why couldn’t I just be emotionless and void of love towards Brooke? It might be a bland and sad existence, but at least my heart would remain intact and my whole body wouldn’t continuously cry out for someone it couldn’t have.
I wasn’t stupid. I liked to think my career success proved that, but what was my best-case scenario? Sleep with Brooke once every couple of years when I came to Japan until one of us fell in love with someone else? Then that would be off the cards too; then what? She’d become someone I used to know, an anecdote about the time I had my heart broken.
*
When we returned home later that night my feet were swollen from all the walking. My calves felt tight. My body was clammy and exhausted. I ran for a refreshing shower and collapsedon the sofa.
“Do you want some of your Alfort biscuits?” Beth called fromthe kitchen.
“Yes please.” The idea of the vanilla flavoured white chocolate made mymouth water.
“Here you go.” She lobbed them over the backof the sofa.
“What have you got?” I asked.
Beth lowered her plate as she walked past, so I could see the four colourful mochi desserts.
“I love them! They’ve started doing them everywhere in London. They’re so good.”
“I didn’t understand them at first, especially this little passion fruit one. Don’t you think it looks like a ball sack?” Beth picked up the mochi ball and started squeezing it.
“A ball sack?” I burst out laughing. “I can’t say men’s genitals often come into my description of anything, but now you say it.” It was a strange wrinkly texture with a skin-colouredcomplexion.
“What’s the greeny coloured one?”
“Mint chocolate chip, it’s my new favourite,” Beth replied.
My phone started vibrating excessively. One message came in after another to the point where the sofa felt like a massage chair; it was Paula.
Paula
Gota new case.
Paula
