Page 12 of A Candy Cane Christmas
He nodded enthusiastically, his eyes glittering in the lamplight.
“And you’re able to afford a sustainable lifestyle?”
Another nod, mixed with a bit of a smirk. “I’m actually doing really well at the moment.”
“Okay, if that’s the case, I don’t see a problem with having as many jobs as you do. You look happy. You’re comfortable… in my book, that’s really all you can wish for, isn’t it?”
One moment, Luci was staring at me wide-eyed, and the next, he was sitting on my lap, hugging me tight. “Sorry,” he mumbled against my neck, while his warm breath fanning over my throat sent shivers down my spine. I felt my cock twitching, and a part of me desperately wished Luci would kiss my throat or me. After a few seconds, right as he started moving back, I realized I’d never hugged him back. And I wanted to. Needed to. Because I didn’t want this moment to end. So I pulled him flush against my chest, letting out a gush of air as I felt him melt against me. Having another man—no, Luci—so close felt right in a way that brought tears to my eyes.
“What are you sorry for?” I whispered in his hair.
He smelled a bit like sweat and the mall and, yeah, there was definitely a hint of peppermint, too. I smiled at that and buried my nose deeper in his hair.
“For attacking you like this.”
“I quite like it,” I admitted, tightening my arms around him.
“Mhmm,” Luci mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder. “Can we stay like this for a while? You can tell me why you came over, and I get to cuddle with you.”
“I honestly can’t remember.” I laughed. “I didn’t come for hugs, but I’m taking all I can get.”
“Taking the risk of coming on too strong again, you could get a lot more if you wanted.”
I was willing to bet he was waggling his brows, even though I couldn’t see. But I could feel him grinning against my throat, hislips ghosting over the skin. Swallowing a groan, I gently poked him in the ribs.
“You’re mean.”
Luci giggled, tightening his hold until he was clinging to me like a monkey. “Just a little. And I kinda get the feeling that you like me being a little mean.”
I didn’t actually think he was mean, but I did like him being playful and flirty with me, even though I had no idea how to react. I’d never been in this situation before. I’d spent years being terrified of being gay. The one time I’d tried finding out if I could like women had ended up with Josie getting pregnant, and afterward… there’d been no time. Besides, who wanted to date a teen dad with full custody of his kid?
No one.
Except maybe for the colorful whirlwind hanging on to me.
If he wanted to date me, that was.
He might just want sex. I swallowed. That would seriously suck. Not the having-sex part; the thought of finally having sex with a guy was… yeah, it made my cock harden against Luci’s ass within seconds. But the thought of not having him like this afterwards… I wasn’t sure I could do it.
“What made you go all tense on me?” Luci whispered, his hand caressing my ribs. “And I mean not in a good way.”
“I… uh, was wondering what we’re doing here,” I answered honestly. “And I don’t mean the cuddling thing; I’m well aware we’re doing that. I want to know what it means. Are you like that with all your friends? Are we even friends? I thought our coffee da—meeting went well, but that was five days ago, and I didn’t hear anything from you.”
“Oh,” Luci said, pulling back a little so he could meet my eyes. I didn’t know what he was seeing in them, but his face went all soft. “I enjoyed our date on Saturday. Very much so. I’m sorryI didn’t say anything afterward. I was caught up in deadlines, and… well, to be honest, I’m really bad at keeping in touch with people. I forgot to ask for your socials, and by the time I realized it was half past ten. I figured Hazel would be asleep, so I didn’t want to knock, and then… I forgot. I’m so sorry. It doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy our time; it’s just that my mind goes about a hundred miles a minute and I forget.”
I nodded, trying to understand him. His mind appeared to work vastly differently from how mine did, but that didn’t mean he was lying.
“As for the friends thing, yes, I like being affectionate with my friends, and I’d love for us to be friends, but I think I could like you as more than a friend, too. If you let me.” The last words were mumbled, almost inaudible, but they hit me as if he’d shouted them in my face.
My hands started to sweat, but I kept my hold of him, my heart beating in my throat.
“I have Hazel,” I croaked. “Always. Her mom… she died in a car accident, so it’s just me. Hazel’s grandparents take her one night a week—that’s where she is right now—but I need you to know that she’s part of the deal.”
There would be no spontaneous date nights. No college parties or going out every weekend. I wouldn’t be able to stay the night multiple times a week, and while he might be able to spend the night with me, there would be no lazing in bed in the mornings.
For once, Luci didn’t have an immediate answer. One part of me hurt because it wasn’t an immediate yes, but… his taking his time and considering what I’d told him made me respect him more.
“I want to try to see where things go,” he finally whispered. “I wish I could give you more than that, but I’ve never been in a relationship with a single dad—or any dad—before.”
