Page 15 of Show Me How to Heal
“You’re right, sorry. I mean, I’m one to talk. I moved here two years ago, knowing no one in town but the realtor.” He chuckled. “But I’m at least from Colorado, and I visited the house before I bought it.”
“And things seem to be working out great if you’re already able to buy another building.”
Zayne’s smile took my breath away. The slightly crooked but pearly white teeth and the way the right corner of his mouth was lifted a little higher than the left gave him a slightly mischievous look.
I wanted him.
And I was flirting with him.
But did he realize I was? Was I obvious enough? I had literally no idea. I hadn’t tried flirting with a guy ever since… yeah, there’d been that one time when I was sixteen. My first visit to a club and the first and last time I’d flirted with a guy.
Risking my career as a professional foot… soccer player hadn’t been worth getting my dick wet.
It’d always been my plan to wait… and now that I didn’t have to wait anymore, I was utterly and completely lost. I guess I’d always expected Moritz to be by my side, helping me out like he was supposed to as my twin brother. But Moritz was back in Germany, enjoying his single life after getting out of a long-term relationship that’d ended because… of me.
Go me!
“Thanks for putting that much faith in me,” Zayne said, interrupting my thoughts and immediately drawing my attention to him again. “It was the right thing to do, but it’s… stressful. Like… there’s so much to do, I don’t even know where to start.” He shook his head. “Anyways, that’s not important. I can stress about everything tomorrow. Today’s for celebrating.”
I raised my cocktail glass for a toast. “Congratulations. And good luck to your store.”
As he raised his glass to clink against mine, Zayne smiled so wide that it lit up his whole face while his eyes bored into my own like he was trying to look straight into my soul. “Thank you, Luke.” He spoke quietly, his words barely above a whisper, but to me, they were loud enough to drown out all the noise in the bar. There was something about his voice besides the honest appreciation… he was… I tilted my head when I caught the way he winked at me.
Oh yeah. He was flirting. I was like… ninety-nine percent sure of it.
A spark of heat ignited in my stomach, spreading through my whole body like a wildfire of feelings.
Lust, so much lust, but a little apprehension, too. Uncertainty.
I’d never done this before — not only the picking a stranger up in a bar part but the sex part. I’d traded blowjobs once. Twelve years ago. It’d been just me and my left hand ever since.
However, I had no problem parting with my V-card. After all, it wasn’t for a lack of wanting or even opportunity that’d resulted in my keeping my virginity for thirty years but the little complication called a possible career suicide.
Officially, all major football clubs were very open minded and would support queer players. I even believed that most of the clubs actually would. The problem wasn’t the club, the fans, or possible sponsors but from the players themselves.
No. Not every football —soccer. Fuck, I’ll never learn this— player was homophobic. In fact, many weren’t. But there was the typical locker room talk, the macho posturing, and the players that actuallywerehomophobic. Combined with the fact that even if your team would have been cool about your sexuality, it wasn’t a guarantee that a team you might be traded to would be, too, it made staying in the closet a reasonable decision.
In the end, my desire trumped my nervousness.
“You’re welcome,” I said, wanting to slap myself immediately after the words had left my mouth. I could have said something suggestive. Hell, I could have said anything but such a cheap platitude.
Zayne raised his glass to his lips to hide his snort.
Yeah, I definitely couldn’t impress him with my flirting skills. I just hoped he liked thirty-year-old cripples who didn’t know how to flirt to save their lives. At least my looks weren’t bad. My nose was a little crooked from that one time in junior league a teammate had tried to pass me the ball but kicked it right into my face instead. Apart from that… I didn’t have any complaints.
“Soo…,” Zayne said, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “You know, I came here to celebrate with my friends.” He nodded towards the booth with my realtor, his boyfriend, and some other dude. “But… I’m kinda in the mood for a… quieter, more private celebration.”
Oh.
Ohh.
Yeah, looked like my busted knee wasn’t an issue for the course of the night.
I swallowed, trying to come up with the right words, while my brain was absolutely blank. Like I had no idea what to say at all, except for…
“Scheiße, ja, ich bin dabei.” I shook my head. “I mean, yeah, I’m in.”
Zayne laughed, his eyes gleaming mischievously, his gaze turning a lot more heated when his laughter died down. “I’ll take you forgetting how to speak English as a compliment, okay?”
