Page 77 of Show Me How to Heal
“I was thinking that you can’t know you’re staying for sure. You might decide my explanation isn’t good enough or that I’m not worth the trouble. I’d understand. The paparazzi are hard to deal with on a good day, and I’d totally get it if you didn’t want to be subjected to that.”
Zayne shook his head, a sad smile on his face. “Luke, I do know I’m staying. I knew it last night before turning up at your front door. I was disappointed… I guess I’m still a little disappointed and might be for some time. But after experiencing the pressure the press puts on you for mere two days, I can’t imagine what it does with you if you’re subjected to that for months on end.”
“See, you don’t want to endure that,” I said, swallowing heavily.
Why was I trying to talk Zayne out of this if all I wanted to do was pull him closer and kiss him.
“No, I don’t. And I also don’t want you to have to endure that. You weren’t even given a choice.” Zayne came closer, letting his head rest against my shoulder. “We’ll have to find a way to deal with this. And we will. Maybe we should talk to Carter. That’s Avery’s big brother. He’s a former football player and maybe he knows someone who can come up with a plan on what to do about the press.”
“Good idea,” I said, smiling as I looked down at his head, feeling his wait against me.
“I must really love you to even consider asking Carter for help,” Zayne grumbled, reaching for Sammy and petting his back.
“You love me?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, but that’s not the point.”
“The fuck?” He couldn’t say he loved me and then tell me that wasn’t the point! How could a declaration of love not be the point of a sentence? “For the record, I love you, too.”
Zayne turned his head, peeking up into my eyes through his thick lashed. “I know. You already tried telling me.”
“Could you be a little more romantic? This is the first time I’ve told anyone except for my family that I loved them.”
Now Zayne’s eyes almost bugged out of his head. “The first time?”
“Mhmm,” I said, nodding. “You’re my first real relationship, and… we’re being completely honest with each other now, aren’t we?” I asked, feeling my cheeks flush.
“Yeah.”
“You’re my first in many areas…”
Zayne blinked a couple of times, his jaw dropping. “You… you’re kidding, right?”
“Ähm… noo? I wanted to tell you I was a virgin when we met.”
Zayne swallowed. “A virgin. You. The pro-soccer player. At age thirty.”
“Yes. I don’t know why you listed me being a soccer player off because that’s the very reason for me not to have had sex before,” I told him. “I was so anxious someone would find out and publicly out me… thinking about it… I think I might’ve had anxiety issues for longer than I realized.”
“Maybe,” Zayne started, his hand searching mine. “Maybe you should try finding a therapist you can talk to.”
“I have… had one. But I couldn’t even be completely honest with her,” I confessed.
“So… try finding a new one,” Zayne urged me, carefully nudging me. “I think that’s important.”
“Yeah… probably.” I nodded, thinking about all the terrifying aspects of finding a stranger I’d pay for dissecting my brain. If they broke their oath and sold my stories to the press… “Can we talk about that later?” I finally asked when I realized my mind was drifting off into horror scenarios again.
“Sure. What do you want to talk about instead?”
I laughed. “I don’t want to talk at all. I just want to kiss you.”
I didn’t get a verbal answer. Instead, I finally, fucking finally, felt Zayne’s warm, plush lips on mine again. I sighed against his mouth. This… yeah… I was home.
RICHTER SEEN LEAVING HIS BOYFRIENDS HOUSE IN RUMPLED CLOTHES – DID THEY MAKE UP?
Chapter 20
Zayne
