Page 60 of Show Me How to Heal
I smiled against his lips, trying to suck his bottom one between my teeth, but he was faster, gently biting into my lip. It stung, but it was also hot and wet and sooo good. I moaned, rubbing my cock against his thigh, eliciting a delicious groan in return that reverberated against my lips.
“Luke,” he moaned my name as my hands wandered south, closer to his ass. “Food.”
Dammit.
With a sigh, I let go of him, waiting for him to take a step back since I was the one pushed against the wall. Damn, I could get into that. Maybe later… after the talk.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. After dinner. We could have a nice dinner before I went ahead and ruined everything, couldn’t we?
Maybe just ripping the band-aid off was better? Telling Zayne the truth now and bribing him into letting me stay with food later.
Zayne took the decision out of my hands by opening the bags and pulling out the various food containers while I was still contemplating on what to do.
“Sit down. I’ll be right back,” he told me with a smile. Then he turned around and disappeared into the kitchen. Sammy, hoping Zayne would give him treats, followed suit, which meant I could sit down and think about what I wanted to say to him.
Sorry for keeping the truth from him. That one was a given. But otherwise?
The whole “It’s not you, it’s me” thing sounded ridiculous — yet it was the truth.
My anxiety had stopped me from telling him, from letting him in. It didn’t have anything to do with anything he’d done wrong. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Not at all. On the contrary, he’d done so many things right.
“I bought something special for us,” Zayne told me upon reentering the dining room area, holding a bottle off…uff! Damn expensive champagne in his hand.
“Wow… what exactly do you want to celebrate? It’s a little early for an engagement,” I joked, though my voice sounded scared rather than anything else.
Celebration?
That wasn’t good! He wanted to celebrate, while I wanted to confess all my big dark secrets?
“Yeah, do you remember that TikTok-guru.”
“The one who’s at fault for us being almost completely sold out online?”
Zayne nodded, grinning from ear to ear. “That one. We actually texted a little, and… well, I invited him to my grand opening. And he’s coming!”
“And we’re celebrating… that?”
Zayne snorted.
“No. It’s not like I’m a fan of his. I didn’t even know his channel up until all of his followers suddenly started following me. But that was yesterday, and he made a TikTok talking about how excited he was to come here and how nice I was and… Yeah… I hit a million subscribers!”
“Congratulations!” I said, getting up to give him a hug while on the inside there was just one word bouncing around in my head.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Zayne practically vibrated in front of me. “It’samazing! I mean, I’m even more nervous about the grand opening because if he’s coming and my fans are coming and his might be, too… I’m a little concerned. I mean, Emma and Rick — they’re the owners of the B&B right outside of town — already called me to say they’re completely booked. There’s not a single bed left. Which I don’t understand since the opening itself is invite-only. Like… do they plan to wait outside? Probably. So I thought about hiring security for the event, just in case too many people show up, but…” He shook his head firmly, his long braid whipping through the air. “No. This evening is about us, not work. We can celebrate the milestone, but that’s it. No worrying or stressing. Just a pleasant evening.”
I swallowed heavily before I gave a short nod.
A pleasant evening probably didn’t involve me telling him all about my fucked-up career and all the things I’d kept from him.
I wished I was strong enough to tell him nonetheless, but I wasn’t. All I felt was utter relief because I had the perfect excuse not to tell him today. I mean, it’d be rude, wouldn’t it?
On the other hand… one million subscribers. A lot of them coming to town in a week. The media already suspecting I wasn’t in Germany anymore… it was a catastrophe waiting to happen.
I needed to come clean sooner rather than later.
