Page 34 of Knot what I want for Christmas
“Or?” I say.
He looks at me. “This one has a penchant for sugar cubes. Definitely has a sweet tooth. And your scent, well…”
“Oh,” I say, trying my best to suppress the smile that comment brings. “Some people find my scent a little too sweet,” I say. Sickly is the word I remember one of the guys I dated describing it.
Nash snorts. “It’s just the right amount of sweet, in my opinion. And I have a reputation for being particularly picky about these things.”
“You do?” I say.
“Yeah. They say I’m a perfectionist.” He shrugs, continuing to pick out Cloud’s hooves.
And I wonder what has happened to my brain, because this is not the same as cutting trees, or swinging axes, or throwing hay bales – and yet this is just as hot.
Or maybe, I have to admit, it’s not the actions. It’s the Alphas themselves.
I’ve avoided Alphas because the ones I met back in Rockview – the ones I went on a couple of dates with when I first presented as an Omega – were rude, obnoxious, and incredibly pushy. It was clear that all they wanted was to get inside my panties as quickly as possible.
And me, a young Omega, a complete hormonal mess, didn’t want that at all. After all, my mom had been left high and dry herself by an Alpha – young, single, in her early twenties. As much as I love my mom, as much as I loved my childhood, I knew it had been incredibly hard on her, supporting the two of us with no one to lean on, no one to help. And I definitely didn’t want to end up the same way.
The thing is, the Betas I’ve dated didn’t turn out to be much better. A lot of them were giant jerks too, which is one of the reasons I’ve been off men for the last year and a bit. That, and I was too busy caring for my mom.
“Perfection, huh?” I say to him. “That’s a high standard to maintain.”
“I always say,” he tells me, his eyes flicking up to meet mine, “that if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”
And why does that send a shiver down my spine? Why do I think there’s hidden meaning in those words?
“Especially when it comes to my girls,” he says, patting Cloud’s rump.
And I’m definitely losing my mind, because that sends another shiver down my spine. A man who cares for his animals has always sent my pulse spiraling. It’s lucky most of the other vets at the clinic are women or married – otherwise I’d have fallen in love with them all.
“I understand what you mean,” I tell him. “I always want to do my best for my patients as well.”
Mrs. J is right. My spirits lift as I continue to groom Cloud, lost in the repetition of it, in the smell of the horse and the scent of the Alpha and in his deep voice as he asks me questions about my job, about my life in Rockview – and lastly, about my mom.
I didn’t think I’d want to talk about her, not after the attack of the sadness. But actually, I find it helps. I guess I haven’t talked about her with anyone for months now.
“She was young when she had me,” I explain. “And I think, although that made it hard for her, it was really special for me. She had a great imagination, lots of energy. She was always swapping jobs, trying her hand at this, trying her hand at that. She never gave up trying to make a better life for herself or for me.”
“She sounds like an incredible woman, Hollie,” Nash says. “And I think she must have been to have brought up a remarkable woman like you.”
I smile into the horse’s coat. “She always said I was the best thing she ever did. Her greatest creation. Her proudest moment.”
He nods. “That’s the biggest compliment.”
“It is,” I say. “I wish I could be more like her.”
He stops what he’s doing and looks over at me again. “The two of you sound remarkably alike,” he says. “I’m surprised you’d say that.”
“Oh no, she was wonderful,” I say. “And I’m… well.” I make a face. “I vomited on Clay’s boots last night and I almost broke his neck out there in the snow.”
“Yes,” Nash says with a smile. “It was brilliant. Clay could do with a bit more chaos in his life.”
I rest my hand on my hip. “Are you saying I’m chaotic, Nash?”
“Absolutely. Absolutely chaotic.” He grins. “Chaotic perfection.”
Chapter Eleven
