Page 51 of Knot what I want for Christmas
“She just lost her mom,” Nash explains. “She’s vulnerable, and she knows she is. It’s not the right time for a relationship.”
And I feel my jaw drop and my optimism plummet. A moment ago, Tucker had almost convinced me – convinced me that maybe, just maybe, we could have Hollie Bright. That maybe we could have her forever.
But I was right all along. That was a stupid idea. Hollie Bright doesn’t need us. Why would she?
“It doesn’t have to be a relationship,” Tucker says. “We could, you know, just have a bit of fun.”
“That’s worse,” Nash says. “That’s not what she needs.”
“She said that?” Tucker asks.
“Not in so many words,” Nash answers. “But you saw how she was the other day. She’s still grieving. Fucking about with a bunch of assholes is the last thing she needs.”
“Speak for yourself,” Tucker says, “I’m no asshole.”
I drop the meat pie on the table and pull out a chair myself, sitting down. Suddenly, I don’t have an appetite anymore. I’m not hungry at all.
“That’s what I said,” I tell them both.
“Maybe we could–”
“No,” I say, cutting off Tucker and his incessant optimism. “You’re right, I care about her and I want what’s best for her. It isn’t the right time for her, Tucker. It’s best we leave the Omega well alone.”
I just wonder if any of us has the willpower to do that.
Chapter Eighteen
Hollie
Annie insists we spend our evening curled up in front of the TV watching Christmas movies and drinking Mr. J’s homemade eggnog. Snuggled up with the Christmas tree twinkling beside me, I can’t help reliving the two different kisses from today.
Honestly, what has my life become? Even in the brief “ho” phase I went through in college, I never kissed two different men on the same day.
But Nash said that wasn’t a problem, and I can’t help believing him. Packs work differently. Packs, like he said, share. And I think as an Omega I’m meant to find every single member of the pack just as attractive as the other – I’m meant to want them all. Which is just as well because I don’t think I could choose between them.
Although, wanting these alphas is definitely not what I should be thinking about right now. I should be watching the small, funny child outwit the two dumb burglars. I should focus on that. I should not be thinking about wood chopping, throwing hay bales, grooming horses, and kisses with hot alphas. I’mmeant to be spending quality time with my best friend – who has given up time she could’ve been spending with her own hot man to be with me – not lost in horny fantasies.
It isn’t much better when I climb into bed that night either. It’s as if the two alphas have unleashed something inside me. Men, sex, relationships have been so far from my mind the last few months that even my usual roaring Omega hormones have been subdued. But now it’s like they flicked a switch inside me. My skin feels tingly, my cheeks feel hot, and my mind is racing with dirty, dirty thoughts.
I’m severely tempted to repeat the actions of earlier in the day and take the edge off all this roaring horniness, but I’m not sure that worked last time. It may have even made the situation worse. So I lie in bed like a good little celibate nun and eventually I fall asleep.
Unfortunately, my mind decides to be naughty all of its own accord, and my dreams are full of hot, semi-naked alphas swinging axes and offering to knot me. I wake up even more hot and flustered than I did falling asleep.
If Annie notices that there’s something up with me, she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she announces at breakfast that morning, “Seeing as there’s a break in the weather, I thought today was the perfect day for a horse ride.”
I peer up from where I’m busy giving Dolly ear-scratches and nearly bounce up and down on my seat and clap my hands. She’s right, the sunshine is pouring through the window today and, though I’m sure it’s still just as cold outside, the skies are clear and the mountains sparkling in the distance. It is truly beautiful, and I can only imagine what this place must be like in summer with the ranch baking in sunshine every day and the wildflowers blooming in the pastures.
We saddle up Sugar and Cloud, and then, with Dolly trotting along beside us, we’re out in the sunshine, riding across thepastures, over the creek, through the Christmas tree copse and out the other side. Then, before I know it, Annie’s pointing to a large cabin nestled up on the slope.
“That’s their cabin,” she says. “Clay’s and his pack.”
I stare at it. It’s much bigger than I’d imagined. Much sturdier-looking. In fact, it looks pretty luxurious from the outside, all clean pine wood and flashes of glass, and I realize that Nash is correct. It has the most incredible view out across the valley and the mountains, and I can imagine waking up to that every day would be simply amazing.
“You want to go say hi to the boys?” Annie asks me, and I scrutinize her face, looking for any signs that she knows what’s been going on in my head and planned this little horse ride, or whether this is just some innocent coincidence.
“I’m sure they’re busy,” I say.
“Probably. They always are. And anyway, we’ll see them later for Christmas Eve drinks.”
