Page 14 of Breakdown
“I am your family too,” Nik said, his voice barely audible.
Peter raked his fingers back through his hair. “Christ, you think I like this? It’s not like I have much of a choice here.”
“It does not feel like you are choosing us.”
“I shouldn’t have to choose between you and my sister. You know what I owe her, Nik. She kept me alive for years. She could die and it would be my fault. You aren’t being fucking fair.”
Nik went quiet again, the only sound was the evening chorus of the crickets. He took another long pull on his cigarette. “None of this seems very fair, Peter.”
“Yeah, no shit.” Peter sighed, sliding his hand over to cup Nik’s knee. He supposed he owed Nik the full truth of it. “Look, you were there. The day we almost lost Mia.... I swore to my father that I would help Liv save the business when the time came. You think he’s not going to come for us if I weasel out of it?”
Nik’s face softened. “Your father...” He placed his palm on top of Peter’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “He is behind bars, Peter. He does not deserve to have this kind of control over you anymore.”
“Nik, you don’t know the things he’s capable of,” Peter said, desperation making his voice break. “He could still hurt you and Mia. For that matter, so could Volkov or Matteo Giannopoulos. I put us in that crosshair when we went after them last year. That’s why I need you to get out of the city for a while.” It would be so much easier for Nik if he just fucked off to San Diego for a few weeks while Peter sorted this out. Hell, it would’ve been so much easier for Nik if he’d never met Peter in the first place. “Please. You’ve seen up-close how bad this shit can get.”
“I have, Peter. I almost lost you that day too, remember? That is not something I would like to repeat.” Nik traced his thumb along the ridges of Peter’s knuckles. “You cannot just expect to send me away while you die here with your sister in LA.”
“I don’t plan on dying on you,” Peter said.
Nik let out a pained, bitter sound. “It has been my experience that planning does not have a lot to do with it.”
Peter hooked his arm around Nik’s waist, leaning his head against his shoulder in a gesture he hoped was reassuring. “I’m built for this, Nik. This used to be my world for a long time.” He kept his voice low, trying to soften the blow. “I’m more equipped for it than you. You don’t need to get in the middle of whatever this is.”
More than Stavros’ warning, more than even the consequences of failing to keep a promise to his father, it was Liv’s text that set Peter’s alarm bells clanging:Make sure Nik is there.
“You do not get to make that decision for me,” Nik said.
“I know that, I do, but you shouldn’t have to be involved.”
“But I am.”
“Yeah, because I painted a giant fucking target on your back,” Peter said.
Nik traced soothing figure eights across the back of Peter’s hand. “Peter, I was involved in this even before I met you. You always seem to forget this. We painted that target together. It is both of our messes.”
“Nik... shit, you’ve got a daughter to think about. And Nina. The house. The shop.” Peter shook his head. “You’ve just rebuilt your whole fucking life. Let me keep them safe for you.”
“What good are they without you? You are in everything I have rebuilt, Peter.”
Peter stared down at his feet, bare and cold against the wood steps of the deck. He was going to lose this argument, because he couldn’t stop Nik from doubling down on the bad bet that was Peter Bauer.
“You cannot just shut me out,” Nik admonished softly. “I want to help.”
“It’s not worth the risk.”
“I think I am the one who gets to choose that, yes? I would very much like to keep you safe as well.”
“I’ll be safe, I promise.” Peter only had so much resistance inside of him, and he hated that it was waning fast under Nik’s steady touch.
Nik took Peter’s chin in his hand, forcing him to meet his gaze, clear and intense. “What if webothleft LA for a while?”
His chest locked up, painful and tight. “You know I can’t do that.”
Nik sighed, disappointed but not surprised. “I know. I know you better than that.” He extinguished his cigarette, leaving the pack firmly in his pocket this time. His smile was grim. “Listen, I will take Mia to the Kritikos’ for a few days. But I am staying.”
“Nik...” Peter flicked his gaze to his lap, tearing at the chapped skin on his lips with his front teeth until he tasted blood. It felt like somehow he had tricked Nik, not just into staying but with the whole fucking relationship.
“No,” Nik said firmly, reaching up to stroke the side of Peter’s face. “This is my choice and I have made it. Whatever happens, we do this together or not at all. I need you to promise me that.”
