Page 23 of One Little Problem
“There’s lots of good things in the future,” Luke argued lightly. “Us for real dating again, my parents coming around and admitting they were super wrong and begging me to forgive them.” He paused, perhaps wondering how likely that was. “We should work on willing that into existence. You have to help because you’re more stubborn than me.”
“I’ll do my best,” I promised.
“So, yeah, things are going to get even better and you’re gonna have an awesome time in Chicago.”
Oh, right. That.
We saw headlights in the distance and we jumped apart, even though we weren’t very close, only holding hands, which I didn’t even notice when we did that but that wasn’t anything new. Our hands just wanted to be touching and if we didn’t make that happen then they did of their own volition. That was romantic as hell. The car coming towards us wasn’t even my father’s, but Luke did take me home.
How would we hold hands when I was in Chicago? That was around eight hours away.
The date was nice. Had everything a date should have. Luke, me, nice moments. But I just kept thinking back to the first time we went to the planetarium. How I told myself to just enjoy whatever this was while it lasted. We were steadier now, in a relationship, but had things really changed? Yes, he really liked me, but there were no guarantees. There were so many reasons it could end, and no reason we would last over the summer, especially if I left.
I felt like I was in the same spot. Like I should get as much enjoyment out of our relationship as I could because there was no way I’d be able to hang onto something so good.
The only thing that would change is how much I would be hurt. Back then, I had a hopeless crush on Luke. It wasn’t so hopeless after all but getting over it would have been possible. Sure, I’d mope and be dramatic, but it wouldn’t be like this. When I’d gotten to touch his dimples with my fingers, with my lips, when I knew how slow and sleepy his voice sounded when he stayed up too late talking to me, the smiles he saved just for me. Having it end would be devastating.
I was in the same place and a different place. But maybe the answer was still the same. Maybe I should hold on tight and enjoy this crazy, wonderful relationship for as long as I could.
