Page 22 of One Little Problem
“Within the context of this conversation!” he corrected quickly.
“Too late, there’s already ten things on the list, like half of them involve you being shirtless.” I spent a few moments staring off into space and dreamily picturing those things. “Oh, I thought of a few more where you aren’t wearing pants.”
“Now I’m torn because on the one hand, I’m not opposed to not wearing pants around you—"
“Yay, dirty talk.” It was so easy to get caught up in Luke, making me forget the troubling thoughts of a moment ago.
“Though it would be a terrible precedent to just do what you wanted me to do.” He knew me so well.
“I wouldn’t go mad with the power.” Did I have a crazy grin on my face? Oh well, it was unlikely he would believe me anyway.
“Really? How many things are on the list now, even though it’s imaginary?”
“Roughly 73,” I admitted. I had already gone mad with power and I didn’t even have power yet.
“Maybe if you pick your favorite thing and ask very, very nicely.” Luke’s face got closer to mine and I was on board with that, but wasn’t he supposed to be driving? I looked around. Oh, he had pulled off to the side of the road.
“Well, if you’re about to kill me, I have to give you credit so far. I really didn’t see it coming.” Element of surprise seemed very important when it came to murder.
“Don’t tempt me,” he said wryly. “But I figured we could talk for a bit, there’s still a little time until you need to be home.” That wasn’t what he was saying a while ago, but Dad did think I was out with Alicia, and Luke didn’t seem to mind me not being right on time now. This was important enough.
However, talk probably actually meant talk because this part of the road didn’t have any cover or anything, it was just flat land and we wouldn’t be inconspicuous at all if someone came out this way. With our luck, it would be my dad who drove down this way and saw us making out. However again, talking to Luke was still better than not talking to Luke.
Then again, or however however however, maybe we could chance it. Maybe my dad wouldn’t even be home. Maybe he was on a different stretch of road somewhere else, debating whether to make out with his date or worrying that his son would catch him. Maybe he wasn’t even thinking about his son.
“Ryan?” Luke asked. “Are you alright?”
“Uh,” I said and opened my mouth to say more before realizing that was my entire answer. “Let’s just. Let’s stay here a second and not talk.” Not talk and not kiss? Did I have a fever?
Luke had the same thoughts. “Not talk? Now I’m really worried.”
I couldn’t help smiling a little. “Shut up.”
I was happy and there was no reason to be sad, so it was annoying I was kind of sad anyway. Sitting here with Luke was nice though, looking at the real stars and idly paying attention to the radio in case the perfect song came on. Right now, there was an advertisement for hamburgers. We’d have to keep looking. I had a nice time tonight and I wished it could last longer, like I always did.
There was just something… weird. Nothing was off necessarily, but I don’t know. None of it felt real. Almost like it was a dream or one of those snow globes where everything would change if it got shaken too hard. I didn’t even mind if this was a dream, dream!Luke and I could have a lot of fun together, do things the real Luke and I had been so far unable to do, so it was totally fine if this was a dream. I just wanted to know, so I wouldn’t be caught off guard.
“I’m just going to ask one more time and then I’ll stop,” Luke said into the dark and silent car after a while. “Are you okay? Like, with your Dad and stuff?”
Talking about stuff was better than being a dumb caveman, and cavemen weren’t hot anyway, so why would I want to take after people who weren’t even hot? They had big foreheads and too much hair in weird places. I tried to vocalize my thoughts. About my dad, not cavemen. “He doesn’t like you, and he’s dating again, it’s.” And that’s as far as I could get. The thoughts just weren’t there after that, which was weird, considering I had thoughts about everything, even cavemen. “I don’t know. I’m having trouble processing it.”
That happened to guys as they got older, it was natural. Wait, that was something different.
“That’s okay,” Luke said. “Might take some time to sort through your thoughts.”
“Except there’s better things to be thinking about.” I had so many good things in my life. “Like, tonight was pretty good, right? Us fake breaking up was a brilliant idea, right? And whoever thought of it should be made the king of all things and everyone should always listen to him forever and his boyfriend should never wear a shirt again.” There I went going mad with power again.
“Not sure I’m ready to go that far yet.”
“Was it the shirtless part that’s holding you up? I promise to keep you warm.” We could do lots of huddling together, for warmth and for fun.
“That was the only part I was okay with.”
Luke looked at me. I looked at Luke. We started laughing. When I calmed down, I thought about how to answer whether I was okay or not. My head was such a weird place these days. There were so many light, happy thoughts and feelings that it was kinda surreal. Like I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in someone else’s mind instead of my own.
The sarcastic, cynical part of me almost wanted to find the way back to my own mind, but the rest of me was busy tackling the jaded part of me to the ground and tying him up and gagging him. I could get used to being happy. What was more alarming was the prospect of it all being temporary.
“I guess I just don’t want anything to change,” I told Luke. “Everything is great.” Especially with us, I didn’t say but probably didn’t need to. It was pretty obvious. “I wish it could always be like this.”
