Page 14 of One Little Problem
Luke made a face. “We have fake broken up before.”
“Except we weren’t actually dating when we did that.” It was a fake fake breakup. Life was complicated. For some reason that happened when you had the pathological need to make everything as difficult as possible, which Luke and I both had. We were perfect for each other, that’s how I chose to see that.
“What’s the difference between a breakup then and one now?” Luke wondered.
“We’re doing it for lo- because we really like each other.” I nodded seriously and powered through, not acknowledging what I almost said. “We’re fake breaking up for good, not evil.” That made all the difference. I swear!
Zach and Lydia looked at me like I wasn’t fooling anyone with what I almost said. I probably shouldn’t ask them to call me Ryan the Reluctant Hero. They would never stop making fun of me. They sucked, so I focused on Luke.
“You just made that up,” Luke said.
I shrugged. “So what?” Fake breaking up for good not evil sounded good and that made it legit. I could decide things like that. Why? Because I decided so.
“Can’t we cool it with the crazy schemes for a while?” Luke asked, not getting on board with my incredible intellect.
I called a foul. “You’re usually the one who starts them!”
“Learn from my mistakes,” Luke suggested. Maybe he didn’t understand fouls. Did those exist in baseball? I knew more about it than I used to because I was dating a baseball player, but the only parts that really interested me were the parts where good-looking people ran around in the uniforms or bent over to scoop up the ball. Or when Luke pitched and his arm looked amazing, stretching out to make the throw, strength evident in every move…
I shook my head to clear it of Luke lust. I tried to project confidence and wisdom.
“Why do you look like a demented owl?” Zach asked.
In my supreme wisdom, I ignored him. “My scheme will be great and it will work perfectly,” I told them all.
“Says everyone who’s ever had a scheme ever,” Lydia said.
The warning bell rang and we all started packing up and making our way to our respective classes. Luke hung back to talk to me. Yeah, I really liked having people to eat lunch with, but my favorite part was when we all started going our separate ways, but Luke and I lingered by each other, as if we didn’t want to say goodbye until the last second possible.
“This could give us some breathing room,” I said of my plan. “Unless you think your parents will suddenly start liking me?”
“Might not be possible.” He tilted his head in thought. “The only way you’d get that is if you had a different set of genitals.”
“Do they need to be attached to me?” Just wanted to know my options.
His face looked like it didn’t know the correct expression to make, so it gave up after a moment. “I don’t even want to know what you’re thinking but the answer to it is hell no, don’t do that.” He looked so cute when he got formidable.
“Come on, just think about it.”
“You getting your hands on a woman’s private parts?” he said doubtfully.
I wrinkled my nose. No, that wasn’t enough. I wrinkled my whole face. “It sounds so gross when you put it like that.” Eww. “I’m going to be gone for the summer anyway.” Ew but for different reasons. I frowned a bit and so did he. Aww. “Why don’t we just tell our parents we broke up and then enjoy the rest of the school year together without them breathing down our necks?”
He leaned his head in close to mind and said softly, “Really don’t think we need it, Lemon Drop.”
“That pet name doesn’t work on me anymore,” I said with all the dignity I could muster even while my insides turned to jelly.
“Cute you think I’d fall for that. When did you turn into an optimist?”
“It was your bad influence, but I’m not, that’s why—”
“We’ll figure something out,” Luke said, giving me a reassuring smile.
Then it was time to go to class.
This didn’t have to be a big production… kinda a shame, since drama was done for the year and Luke and I had our moments where we were great creating a spectacle. It wouldn’t be like when we fake dated before. Or when Luke and Lydia faked dated. Or when we fake broke up. Wow, there was so much faking. We’d keep it simple, go with the tried and true standard teens had been using for years: lying our asses off.
Our parents didn’t like Luke and I together, so we wouldn’t be together around them and then they’d relax and Luke and I could go be together elsewhere.
Everyone had private lives. Like with Dad, going on dates, buying new clothes, and who knew what else. Everybody had their secrets. Sure, I wanted to date Luke out in the open, but the dating Luke part was the important thing. If this helped me do that, I was okay with it.
