Page 10 of One Little Problem
“The constant parental disapproval isn’t exactly easy.” Neither was carrying his bag. I could be strong, but I preferred not to be because then what if people expected me to do physical activity all the time? It was a slippery slope. I smiled sweetly and gave the bag back to him.
He rolled his eyes but smiled back like he couldn’t help it as he took the bag and hefted it over his shoulder with ease. To my words, he said, “No, but I don’t know how to make it better. I already tried pretending to date a girl, so it’s your turn to come up with an idea.”
“Oh, you did that for me did you?” My tone was innocent enough but my face expressed there could be danger in the near future.
“My intentions were good,” he tried, but the look he gave me said I won that discussion. I loved that look. “You could pretend to date a girl,” he continued. “But you going straight… gross for so many reasons.” We kept walking.
“Thanks for not saying I couldn’t pull it off.” Maybe I could, but just… why would I even want to? That straight life was not for me.
“I got your back, babe.” We went through all the trouble of coming up with nicknames and now we just called each other babe all the time. That was so like us. I’d complain, but well, he had my back. “And you dating a guy who isn’t me—” He frowned as he thought about it. “Yeah, that is so not happening.” He still looked troubled at the thought. Hot.
Hot but useless. “What are we left with then?” Maybe this was the way things were now. Luke and I as an island in a sea of parental discontent. Wow, I’m so poetic. There might not be anything to do, but I didn’t like that answer.
“Let’s go with something unexpected.” He thought about it. “You could pretend to be a dragon,” Luke suggested. That certainly fit the unexpected bill.
“You think that will help somehow?”
“Don’t know, but I just figure, let’s confuse the hell out of everyone.” He grinned. I tried to be annoyed that he wasn’t taking this seriously, but his hair was still a little damp from a shower and he wasn’t as awake and alert as he usually was since he wasn’t lifting weights in the morning anymore, he and Lydia wrestled for control of the bathroom in the morning instead. He looked adorable and I couldn’t be annoyed at all the adorable.
Plus, that grin made it difficult for me to criticize him, so I just said, “Solid plan, babe.”
He became serious for a moment. “There’s nothing we can do about it.” We could call in Roy G. Biv with the Bi Bomb. Luke could pretend to be a dragon. We could come up with a real plan.
I sighed. Luke was probably right. I hated when that happened. And still. “This is better than thinking of my dad dating again.”
Luke stopped right after we entered the school doors. “What?” he asked.
Before I could elaborate, someone collided with us from behind and because we had the best luck, it was some jerk who couldn’t let the affront of accidentally coming into contact with the gays stand.
The bully saw us standing in proximity to each other and it was too much for him. “You’re disgusting,” he informed us. I blame the internet. Thanks to trolls in comment sections, everyone thinks it’s their duty to let other people know how much they’re hated.
There were many ways to handle bullies, some more effective than others. Running away was always solid. Ignoring them worked sometimes. Crying never did. Crying was the worst. But it had been a long time since I did that. Now, messing with jocks who thought they were messing with me was an art form. So, I knew how to handle this.
Except I didn’t get a chance. “Right back at you,” Luke said. I know you are but what am I? Really not the highlight of wit but at least he tried. “But my mother raised me with manners.” Oh, he wasn’t done. He was a classics kinda guy: I’m rubber you’re glue, insulting the mother, but it worked. “And I was polite enough to keep my mouth shut.” Just like that he was awake and alert, not backing down when the bully got in his face.
“Shouldn’t let a fairy like you even have a letterman jacket.” The bully didn’t have a jacket but could almost loom, he had the height but not the stature. He was very tall, but I was also tall, so it was a wash. He stared at Luke’s jacket with disgust.
“You’re on the JV team, do you really get to heckle people?” Luke asked. I giggled and leaned into him. I would let him take the lead, but I still wanted to do my part.
That made the guy’s frown redouble its effort. “Disgusting,” he repeated. See, we already had enough people against us. I didn’t want our parents to be in that group.
“You said that already,” Luke pointed out. He seemed amused. I remembered when this kind of thing would have made him uncomfortable. My heart beat a little faster in my chest; I was just so proud.
“He’s an athlete,” I pointed out. “Maybe he has brain damage.”
Luke started nodding, then realized that comment applied to him too. “Hey—"
I interrupted before he could complain. “Your brain damage is cute,” I assured him, turning towards Luke and joining my hand with his.
He smiled. “Thanks, babe.”
The bully wasn’t similarly charmed. “You queers don’t have to be so obvious.”
Luke looked genuinely bothered for a second, then he shook his head. “God, have you been taking notes from my parents?”
Now the bully was confused. “Uh—"
Luke didn’t wait for him to get with the program. “Whatever, come on,” he told me, pulling me along with him.
