Page 1 of One Little Problem
1.Pure bliss
And absolutely no problems, except for maybe one.
Ryan
OH WOW, MY LIFE IS SO TERRIBLE BUT AT LEAST THERE’S A HOT GUY TO LOOK AT WHILE EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL. ALSO, I’M A SPAZ.
Just figured I’d put that out there. Draw people into my story, make my life relatable and not totally perfect because who wants to read about someone who’s got everything and having the time of their life? Well, hopefully someone is interested in that… I certainly am.
Because yeah, my life rocks. But don’t go anywhere! It didn’t always rock. I used to have only one friend and everyone hated me because I was the lone out gay kid in this Midwestern conservative farming town, which was totally unfair because if they actually got to know me they’d see I have several other qualities that others might call annoying, but I called charming, and hate me for those instead. But no, they didn’t even take the time to hate me for who I am, so rude.
There was just me and my one friend Alicia and my dad and I had no love life, no life of any kind. But then Luke Chambers came into my life and now? Things were pretty good now.
“Okay, okay, okay,” I said, holding my hands up to stop Luke from talking more even though he might not have a clear view of that because he was driving. “I refuse to be associated with Post Malone in any way.” I felt very strongly about that; it was a matter of principle.
This was very serious business. The last Big Relationship Decision—or Luke and Ryan Being Disgusting as our friends called it; our friends were tools—was deciding nicknames. Now we needed a song. Why? Because relationship. That’s why.
“What about the new Jonas Brothers song?” I asked Luke.
Luke didn’t even think about my suggestion. “Even you aren’t that gay,” he joked, keeping his eyes on the road. He was driving, I wasn’t, so I happily put my eyes on him. He wore a blue t-shirt that hugged his shoulders, and his aftershave smelled woodsy and intoxicating.
He was gorgeous, but I glared at him anyway. “How dare you imply there are limits to my gayness?” If he didn’t believe me, I’d show him how gay I was… that sounded alright, I should show him anyway.
“You’re right,” he conceded. “My mistake.” He looked over at me for a moment with a goofy smile that showed off his dimples. “You are the gayest there’s ever been.” Aw. Then, like he couldn’t help himself, he had to keep going. “Also the most uncoordinated and the awkwardest and—”
“Think that’s enough,” I interrupted.
“Just reminding you of all your wonderful accomplishments, babe.” The words were almost innocent, but he smirked slightly as he said them.
For anyone who thinks, hey, I thought this guy said he was happy. This doesn’t look like a perfect blissful relationship to me, here’s what I have to say to that:
One: shut up.
Two: get your eyes checked.
Three: shut up again. Even Luke and I at our best involves, like, 300% sarcasm and insults. We snark because we love. Like. More than like but less than love. Tolerate but something more romantic, but not something so big as to cause alarm because we haven’t said those three special words yet and now was so not the right time. Okay, I and you weren’t that special words on their own but when paired with love? Nope, no, wasn’t even thinking about this.
Why? Because things were going well. And I was going to suppress all my natural spaz instincts and just try to enjoy this without having to wonder about the big L word and whether I should say it and if he’d say it back and what our children’s names would be and how we’d even have children, would we adopt or find a surrogate… all of that was way too much.
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, the Jonas Brothers. A totally safe topic. Unless he asked me how many of their posters I had when I was growing up or who was hotter: him or Nick Jonas. Luke was super good looking but something about Nick just made me weak in the knees. “Their new song is good,” I said.
“Still no.” Luke could definitely compete with Nick though, if not outright win. The fading sun cast his tan features and sandy blonde hair in a soft glow and if I listened very closely, I might be able to hear angels singing because even they marveled at his beautiful muscles and green eyes.
“Come on!” I protested. Maybe I should make him stop the car so he could see the force of my pout.
“I have to take a stand somewhere and this is too far,” the baseball player said, making a fist with one hand and punching it against the steering wheel to show the force of his metaphorical stand.
“The JoBros are the hill you want to die on?” It was in my nature to question things, but I could maybe respect that. Nick was pretty hot; the Jonas Brothers weren’t a terrible way to go.
Luke paused for just a second, aha! Then he doubled down. “It’s an important hill.”
“Whatever, I know you have Year 3000 on your iPod.” I turned towards my window to avoid showing my smile. Wait for it…
“Dammit,” he cursed under his breath. “Did Lily tell you?” She didn’t; his little sister wasn’t a terrible secret keeper.
I grinned triumphantly. “No, you just did.” Yes, everything going perfectly between us was great, but winning an argument, even a silly one, was even better. Plus, Luke liking cheesy pop songs just made him cuter.
The car slowed as he took the turn to his house. “Isn’t that song kinda suggestive for us?” he questioned. He just got a haircut, so his dirty blonde hair was cut relatively close to his head. My fingers itched to familiarize themselves with the new length of his locks.
