Page 76 of Beautifully Ruined
He’ll mess with dangerous things, he’ll mess with girls who wear rings—if they don’t care, he doesn’t care either.
Enzo has his own set of morals.
For me, living on those kinds of edges is not where I get my thrills,. But I do like edges, thrills, and dark things. Would I like Vi as much as I do if she didn’t have the inclinations she has?
I let a breath out.
Maybe?
I stand up and help myself to a bottle of water.
Shit. The answer is yes. Because I liked Vi for a long time. Even before I knew her darkness aligned with mine. I just kept it all hidden, kept it all pushed down.
The fact that our inclinations match is a bonus. And I think even if they didn’t, I’d be happy keeping it vanilla. There’s porn to look at, but…
But I know I’d have done my best to push the edges, find her comfort levels, explore whatever fantasies she might have had.
Some people claim they don’t have them, but they just don’t know what they are.
I’m fully aware there are those who only have vanilla fantasies, but there’s also fun to be found in those.
Even when I started becoming sexually active, I knew there was something different about my desires. I found ways to explore offline and on. With girlfriends, too.
We found fun spaces.
With Violet, the spaces we have to play are mind-blowing. It’s like finding a missing piece of yourself.
Enzo cuts into my thoughts “Any word on Joseph Walsh himself?”
I rub a hand against the back of my neck and shrug. “Not unless Easy E has something. And you?”
I don’t trust that many people, not completely.
Enzo. Violet.
And…and Jack. Within reason.
Jack, mad at me as he is, would never in a million years sell me out and while I taught him a lesson or three, I’d protect him with my life. I’d protect all three of them with my life. Violet…I’d move the heavens to protect her. But… Yeah, I’d protect Jack. And I trust him.
What I wouldn’t do is give him more weight than I think he can take.
Like what I do. He’s a world away from that, and I’d give anything to keep Vi away from it all, too.
Unlike Jack, Violet’s way too curious, way too stubborn, and way too determined to be anything other than an equal.
Currently, we’ve got the handpicked team coming in to look at other areas, other people.
“Vi doesn’t think he’s dirty, and I believe her.”
Enzo’s eyes narrow. “That isn’t an answer.”
“Until I know more or have enough to sway me, that’s all I have. I’m keeping Easy on him, but…” I sigh. “She’s in his office, her position is working alongside him, even more than she did with Isaac. And her gut says he’s good. I have to go with that. We need to concentrate our attention elsewhere.”
“Fucking Ivan’s disappeared.”
“He’s protected, anyway. Disappear back to Russia for a few months or underground here…I don’t think we’ll hear from him. Yet.”
Until these poisonous bastards are dead in the ground, I always attach a yet to anything to do with them.
