Page 78 of Blackmail
When you are ready to be with me without money or obligations in the way, you will come and let me know.
I’ve been living in a daze, flipping back and forth between wanting to believe him and knowing I can’t.
I can’t talk with my mouth full, so I force a painful swallow. “I’m glad I was able to help, Luella. Glad everybody got transported okay.”
She stands before me with her nude pumps tapping on the fake hardwood flooring. I’ve learned it’s something she does when she’s thinking. It can be unnerving, though, because it sure seems a hell of a lot like she’s waiting for you to finish whatever the hell you’re doing so you can stop inconveniencing her. Fuck it all. Even if it’s the second thing, I’ve still got six minutes left on my break.
“Something else I can do for you, Luella?”
She glances at the clock. “Do me a favor and come see me at the end of your shift. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Oh. Shit. I’m getting fired. “Is this about that time I handed out condoms on the fifth floor? Because those folks were going to be getting busy regardless, and it’s only right to encourage safe sex. You know rates of STIs among adults over the age of sixty-five have more than?—”
“Simon, stop. Relax. I hadn’t actually heard that story, but I’m going to let it go for now. You’re not in trouble.” She glances to another table where two nurse aides and a food service worker are oddly silent and looking anywhere but in our direction. “Just stop by before you head home, okay?”
“Sure. Great.”
Fuck. This could mean literally anything. Maybe I’m going to get a Buzz Buzz Buzz coffee card or one of those free scoop ice cream certificates as a thank you for almost dying on the job before the hurricane. Maybe I really am about to get fired. She may have said I’m not in trouble, but then she probably wouldn’t have when people were listening.
Appetite gone, I push aside my noodles. It’s been a stressful enough week trying to help my brother acclimate to the real world and teach him how to use a smartphone and to not ask directions or buy anything from the corner boys in my neighborhood. Not to mention the huge hole in my chest that only gets bigger with every day that passes without hearing from Sebastian.
I told myself not to get my hopes up, but I guess I did. Truthfully, the number of times I’ve come close to breaking down, going downtown to his office to tell him I’ll wait however long it takes him to work out his divorce and the issues with his company just so I can get him to fuck me over his desk again? It’s honestly embarrassing.
After what happened with Elijah I swore to myself that I would never again let love blind me. That I wouldn’t let myself get hurt that way again. I know Sebastian’s not the same, but I’m still me. And there’s that little voice in my head telling me that what Sebastian said was all too good to be true.
I glance at the clock. Break’s over. So is my time for rumination.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I’ve got four hours left on my shift and there’s plenty of time to ruminate between patients.
My phone buzzes as I’m leaving the break room.
Little brother: Hey, this guy in your building told me I can go down to the hardware store and sometimes people come and hire for jobs there. I was thinking that might be worth trying out.
Simon: Day labor work is dangerous and a lot of the folks who hire there are shady as fuck. Don’t take advice from my sketchy neighbors.
Little brother: You’ve found something wrong with every job I’ve tried to get. You don’t want me to meet Brennan. I’m used to getting up at first light to work and I don’t know what to do with myself now. I’ve been going to the beach and teaching Penelope some tricks, but I’m tired of sand in my shorts and your cat spends a lot of time napping.
Fuck’s sake.
Me: I know. I’m sorry. I remember how much shock I had after I left. Everything was so new and scary I almost went back. There are so many scams and ways people can take advantage of you. I’m trying to protect you.
Little brother: I’m tougher than I look.
No doubt. Growing up where we did, you had to be. We were also insulated. I learned the hard way that a few miles away from the farm may as well have been a different planet.
My head throbs. That fucking flickering light out in the hallway isn’t helping.
Then my brother follows up with, I don’t want to be a bother. I just want to learn and contribute.
I smile to myself. Of course he does. He’s my brother, after all.
Me: I know. Let’s talk about this when I get home. I’m not scheduled for the next two days. We’ll figure this out.
“Texting with my husband?”
What the fuck? “What the fuck?”
I’d recognize that slimy, smug-ass voice anywhere. That voice I always hated, but tolerated because I was getting paid good money. What’s not working in my brain is what in the absolute fuck is he doing here?
