Page 44 of Gift of You
I crossed to him and pulled him into my arms, holding him against me with all the desperate yearning in my heart. His arms came around me, enveloping me in his warmth, and we clung to each other, saying without words what we couldn’t, or maybe weren’t ready, to say out loud.
At length, we stepped back, and I turned, wordlessly taking his hand and pulling him behind me toward the door. We made our way up the stairs, through the quiet bookstore, and then up another flight into his apartment. The sun had gone down, blanketing the apartment in darkness, and Ernie greeted us with a hungrymeow, but these things barely registered as I pulled Matty toward his bedroom.
I flipped on the switch to the bedside lamp, casting the room in a soft glow, then stepped back to Matthew, peeling his sweater up and over his head. We stripped out of the remainder of our clothes, pausing every so often to stamp kisses into each other’s skin, as if they were tattoos of the memory of us. Of who we were and what we meant to each other for this brief moment in time.
We climbed onto the bed, Matthew’s body blanketing mine as if we had done this a hundred times before. He framed my face with both hands, staring deep into my eyes as though searching for the answer to a question he hadn’t given voice to. And then, finally, he kissed me. It was sweet and tender and needy and desperate, mirroring my feelings exactly.
My hands roamed down his back, fingertips committing the feel of each inch of skin to memory. As I traced the contour of his ass, arriving at the intersection of buttocks and back of the thigh, I squeezed, pulling his pelvis into mine. I swallowed his groan,feeling the rumble of it transfer from his chest into mine, as our cocks rubbed against each other.
I rocked my hips against him, my hands continuing to hold him right where I wanted him. Not that he seemed to mind. His hips had begun a rhythm of their own, rocking in tandem with my own.
We continued in this fashion, beads of sweat forming along my brow as we rutted against each other. His mouth slid down to my jaw, his beard abrading my skin in the most delicious way as he nipped and sucked at my skin. Pressure built. Nerves frayed and unraveled. Sparks flew. I was flying, rising higher and higher until?—
“Wait.” I released my grip on his ass in favor of grabbing his shoulders to get his attention.
His brows rose, concern clearing away the lust-filled haze in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I brushed a strand of hair away from his sweaty forehead. “I just don’t want you to come until you’re inside me, Matty.”
His eyes blew wide and the lust-filled haze returned in full force. “Show me what to do.”
I directed him to retrieve the lube, explaining that there would need to be some prep before we proceeded. He dropped a kiss on the tip of my nose on his way to poke around in the drawer next to the bed, coming out with the bottle of liquid and a frown. “I don’t have any condoms. I haven’t needed them for years and?—”
“Shh.” I placed a finger across his lips. “I had my yearly physical a month ago and haven’t been with anyone since. We’re good.”
Relief smoothed out the creases in his forehead, and he kissed me long and deep. When we were both breathless, cocks hard and aching once again, I began to talk him through theprep, having him lubricate his fingers and press one inside. He moved cautiously, brow furrowed in concentration, but I encouraged him to sink deeper until his first finger was seated fully inside me. My hookups had been few and far between in the last year, and even then they’d been limited to blow jobs and hand jobs. I’d forgotten how good it felt to welcome someone into my body.
“That’s it, Matty. Feels so good.” I arched my head back as a tendril of pleasure wound itself up my spine. “You can add another.”
He did as I instructed, adding another finger, and then another, moving with care as he slid his fingers in and out of my body. He turned his hand slightly, inadvertently grazing my prostate, and my body lit up like a Christmas tree. Arching my head back, I screeched, and Matthew’s hand instantly stilled.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?”
My eyes popped open, my gaze landing on his worried features. “You hit my prostate. Felt amazing.”
Watching my face, he moved his fingers inside me, searching for that magic button. It took him a couple of tries, but when he found it I couldn’t help but let out another high-pitched moan. “That’s it. Right there. Feels so good.”
He hit it again, but on the fourth time I stopped him. “No more. Please. Want you inside.” I’d lost the ability to form complete sentences. “Lube your cock. Hurry.”
In another place, in another time, he might have laughed at my desperation, but in that moment I thought he was just as desperate as I was.
I pulled back my legs, giving him full access to my body. His blue eyes, almost black with lust, bore into me with an intensity I couldn’t possibly look away from, as the tip of his dick nudged at my entrance. He looked like he might say something, but then he pursed his lips and slowly pressed forward.
30
MATTHEW
Freefall.
I pushed forward, moving slowly but with purpose, with intention, with determination, while everything inside me screamed with the thrill of falling for him, no longer restricted by the boundaries of my overthinking. I was unfettered by worry about my sexuality and my grief. In this moment, there was just me and him and his body welcoming me home.
When my pelvis made contact with his body, my cock fully seated inside him, I held there, marveling at the beauty of the man below me. Never in my life had I imagined that I’d ever be attracted to a man, that I’d sink myself into another man’s body in this way, but fuck, was I thankful it was Louis who’d shown me the way.
“You good?” I asked as I was overtaken by the unbearable urge tomove.
Louis nodded and wrapped his legs around me, drawing me impossibly closer. We shared a moan at the change in angle, and then I drew back, pulling nearly all the way out before sliding forward again. Louis brought both hands up to either side of my face, holding my gaze as I moved my hips faster.
“So good, Matty. Keep going.”
