Page 42 of Gift of You
“Not true. You have an ass that never quits.”
A laugh burst out of me, rumbling through my chest. “Jesus, that’s corny, even from you.”
“I like to make you laugh.”
Pulling him close, I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I like it when you make me laugh too.”
27
LOUIS
After showering a second time,we spent a quiet morning together on the couch, with Matthew prepping the next chapters he wanted to record while I plucked one of his many books off his shelf at random. This one was by Finn Sullivan, an author I wasn’t familiar with, but I was immediately sucked into the story.
It wasn’t until a little after one that I realized several hours had passed and we’d skipped right past the lunch hour. Sitting on one end of the couch with a blanket draped over my legs and Ernie curled up in my lap, I found myself studying Matty. He was sitting on the other end of the couch, one leg tucked under him with his eyes trained on his iPad. Every so often I saw his lips move as if he was testing out the words in his mind to determine how he wanted to say them. He’d repeat the word or phrase until he was satisfied, then doodle something into his document with his stylus.
He was such a beautiful man, with his broad shoulders, dark beard threaded with hints of gray, and blue eyes. The mountain-man image he portrayed had really done it for me from the moment I met him, standing on his doorstep in nothing but atowel. But it was the beauty inside that drew me to him now, that had me feeling all sorts of off-kilter and tied in knots over leaving in just a couple of days. The vulnerability he’d shown me—that he’d trusted me with—combined with his kind generosity, had my pulse tripping over itself and nerves jangling in a way I couldn’t recall feeling with anyone else.
Was this what it felt like to fall in love? Had I already begun the descent without even realizing it? Was my heart slipping, sliding, tumbling, and rolling on its way to its final destination... right at Matty’s feet?
And if that’s where my heart was heading, what could I possibly do about it? His life was here while mine was in the city. And while he seemed content to work through all the facets of his newfound sexuality while I was here, that didn’t mean he wanted that to continue in the future. No, I would leave and go back to my life working as a corporate accountant, taking in the symphony and meeting friends for brunch. Maybe my condo would feel a little lonelier than it had when I’d left, but I’d readjust. I’d find things to fill the void. I was good at that.
And Matty... he’d be back to puttering around in his bookstore, recording audiobooks on the side, and living a peaceful life with Ernie. Emphasis on the wordpeace.
“Are you okay?” Matty’s brow creased with concern.
My heart lurched, and I blinked, surprised to realize moisture had pooled in the corners of my eyes. I wouldnotcry. Absolutely not. I was being ridiculous. And dramatic, as usual. This was not a big deal. I wasnotfalling in love. My overactive imagination was creating scenarios that couldn’t possibly exist. This was the consequence of choosing to read a romance. It put all sorts of unrealistic ideas in my head.
I made a production of stretching, causing a disgruntled Ernie to jump down from my lap with a short littlemew. “I’m fine. Maybe a little hungry for lunch.” I stood and made myway to the kitchen, pulling open the fridge to rifle through the contents.
Matthew followed, and we pulled out the makings for sandwiches. We stood at the counter, eating in companionable silence, and it struck me that this was new for me too. I’d never been able to abide lengthy silences with others. It had been a common complaint of the men that I’d dated—just one of the many ways I’d been labeled “a lot”—but with Matthew, neither of those things appeared to be an issue. He didn’t seem to mind my chatter, and I’d grown comfortable with his silences. This new revelation was not helping to convince me that I wasn’t in the middle of some sort of Hallmark movie headed for a happily ever after.
“I’m going to head down to the recording studio after this. I’m behind schedule and should probably take advantage of the forced bookstore closure to get caught up.”
“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I could probably wade through the snow to head back to my apartment. Can I take the book I was reading? I’ll bring it back before I leave.” I couldn’t help but feel disappointed, but perhaps some space would do me some good. Clearly I needed to figure out how to bring myself back to reality.
“You don’t have to go. You can stay here or... maybe you could come down with me?”
My eyes shot wide, making me feel like a cartoon character. “Seriously?”
“I know you were curious about my setup.” He shrugged, like he was trying to play it casual, but his eyes darted around as though he wasn’t sure where to look. “And maybe I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
Annnd there went my heart, swooping the rest of the way down in one giant slide, landing directly at his sock-covered feet.
28
MATTHEW
BringingLouis down to the studio turned out to be a gross miscalculation, but the thought of sending him back to his apartment had me making the suggestion on impulse. Every encounter, every moment spent with him left me more and more reluctant to let him go. And with the knowledge that the end of our time together was rapidly approaching, I was greedy for every additional second that I could get.
The studio space wasn’t very big, so after taking a few minutes to show him my equipment, I’d sat him down in the recliner in the corner and gotten to work. I’d been self-conscious at first, wasting several takes as a result of the distraction. Then, just as I’d finally begun to settle into a groove, I’d arrived at a shower sex scene, which had gotten me so turned on I’d had to pause recording while Louis and I jerked each other off.
As we cleaned each other up, Louis thanked me for bringing him down here but offered to go upstairs, citing the fact that he was an obvious distraction. And while that was definitely true, the thought of letting him out of my sight had me feeling panicky in ways I didn’t dare examine closely.
“Please stay,” I’d said, kissing his nose and gently nudging him back into the chair. “We got it out of our system. I’ll be much more focused now.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
