Page 50 of Gift of You
“You want to tell me what’s got you so upset?”
“Nope.”
“Where’s your friend? Lawrence, right?”
“You know his name is Louis. And he left yesterday.” I slid over to the bookmark stand and began rearranging them by color. She slid over so that she was standing directly opposite me on the other side.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. He went home.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
I paused with a stack of purple bookmarks in my hand. “I. Don’t. Know.”
She huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at me. “So he just up and left?”
I stared at her pointedly, then put the purple bookmarks back in their slot. I needed more coffee for this conversation. Not that I wanted to talk about this at all, but Stevie was relentless when she wanted to be.
I headed over to the coffee station we kept for customers and poured myself a cup. Stevie followed, hot on my heels. “Do youwantto see him again?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“So youdowant to see him again.”
I paused with the cup halfway to my lips. “What would that even look like? He lives in the city. I live here. He uses fancy soap and wears expensive clothes, and has a car he can turn on with his phone. And I... I’m me.”
“And what, exactly, is wrong with you?” She picked up a cup and began pouring the coffee.
She was being deliberately obtuse. I rolled my eyes and headed back toward the counter without answering. She followed, hot on my heels.
“I’m serious, Matthew. That man looked at you like you hung the moon. What makes you think the two of you couldn’t find a way to make it work?”
I stared at her like she’d sprouted horns. She stared at me right back, as if I was an idiot for not seeing what she so clearly could.
“Okay, forget for a second that he’s used to a certain lifestyle—one that’s entirely different than mine. He lives an hour away.”
She crossed her arms and shrugged. “So?”
“What do you mean, ‘so?’ It’s anhour.”
“Right.Anhour. So you go into the city for the weekend or he comes out here. You take an afternoon off and surprise him for lunch. He takes the morning off so he can spend the night and drive back in the morning. This is doable, Matthew. You’re acting like he lives three states away.”
I opened my mouth and shut it again. How had none of this occurred to me? I’d thought about asking him to stay but discarded the idea thinking it was ludicrous. I hadn’t considered the possibility of dating long distance. “Okay, but that’s not sustainable. We can’t go back and forth forever.”
“Maybe not. But you don’t have to make that decision today. All you’re doing is deciding if you’re willing to give it a shot. Is Louis worth the hassle? Or are you going to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been?”
I didn’t even need to think about the answer. But what about Louis? What would he think? “What if Louis doesn’t thinkI’mworth it?”
I couldn’t bear to look at her, unwilling to see the pity I was sure was in her eyes. “Has he given you any reason to think that?”
I thought back over the past week. He’d accepted everything about me from the day I’d met him. He hadn’t cared what I wore or that I had body hair or that I’d never been with a man. He’d seemed genuinely interested in everything I’d had to say, even when I’d spoken about Ally. And the way he’d looked at me... sometimes it was if he thought I’d hung the moon.
Stevie put a hand on my forearm. “Just give it some thought. You deserve happiness, Matthew.”
