Page 94 of Give In To Love
“It was true that I was burned out, but more than that, I realized that if there wasn’t someone to share my dream with, then it wasn’t so much a dream but a burden. And I didn’t want to share it with just any ‘someone.’ I wanted to share it withyou. Every milestone I achieved, every new role I was cast, every award nomination…every single one, I itched to pick up the phone and call you. Even this year at the Tony’s, fiveyearsafter we broke up, I wanted you to be my plus one. If I won, I wanted to be able to give you a shoutout in my acceptance speech and take you to the parties after.”
“So… Do you miss that life? Do you…?” He took a deep breath. “Do you want to go back? Do you want to give it a try with me there this time?”
I pulled away and scooted around until we faced each other with his hands clasped firmly in mine and my heart beating wildly. “Is that offer on the table? If I wanted to go back to New York, you’d be willing to come with me?”
He took another breath and straightened his spine. Oh, and there was that sexy-as-hell determined glint again. “I’d be willing to give it a try. I think I owe you that much. I oweusthat much. I shouldn’t have given up so easily the last time. I should have trusted you when you said you wanted to make it work. I should have believed I mattered enough to you that you’d give it your all.”
I drew his hand forward and brushed my lips across his knuckles. “Youdidmatter, and Iwouldhave given it my all. I loved you, sunshine.” Will had said Jimmy needed to hear it. It was time to put it out there. “I still love you.”
He squeezed my hand. “I know. I think I’ve always known. It’s just so much easier to believe the bad things about yourself than the good. Especially when you’ve spent most of your life feeling like everyone else’s burden.”
I tipped his chin and leaned in a little closer, wanting to make sure he could see the truth written in my eyes. “You were never a burden to me. Never. Loving you has been nothing short of a privilege. I feelluckythat I get to love you.Lucky, sunshine.”
He swallowed hard, and I slid my hand along his jaw to the back of his neck. “I don’t want to move back to New York. I want to build a life with youhere. I’ve already looked into what it would take to finish my degree. And Annette told me last week that she’ll be back next semester but may choose to stay home with her kiddo next year, which means her position will be open. And if that doesn’t work out, I’ll find another one.”
Jimmy’s eyes had gone glassy, and I swiped at a tear that managed to break free. “You’re end goals for me. This is it.Thisis the dream I should have been chasing all along. Everything in my life for the last ten years has led me back to you. And this time, I’m holding on to you with everything I have.”
He leaned forward and kissed me. It was sweet and tender and full of emotion. And when he pulled back, I could see the words he hadn’t said written in his eyes plain as day.
Only this time, he finally set them free.
“I love you too. So damn much. I’ve spent the last five years convincing myself I was okay. That I could survive without you. And I did. I survived. Because you’ve always been right about me being stronger than I think. But the thing is… I was surviving, but I wasn’t really living. I wasn’t happy. I was going through the motions.”
This time, Jimmy reached out and wiped away my tears. “Then you showed up at that bonfire, and for the first time in a very long time, it felt like I could take a full breath. It was like I’d been drowning, and you reached beneath the surface and pulled me out. And once I broke through the surface, I realized I never wanted to go back under again. I don’t know.” He gave a shaky laugh. “That’s really corny. You’d think, as a former English teacher, I could come up with a better metaphor.”
I laughed and pressed my forehead to his. “I think it’s perfect.”
We stayed like that for a long moment, breathing each other in while the light faded around us. When a gust of wind blew through the clearing, causing us to shiver, I pulled away. “We should probably head back. It’s getting dark.” I stood and held out my hand to him.
“We can go unmake my bed…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, startling a laugh out of me.
“I’m definitely not opposed to that.” I pulled him in for a kiss, this one full of suggestive promise as I grabbed his ass and tangled his tongue with mine.
“Would you really have been willing to move to New York with me?” I asked as I pulled away.
“I would have. Though I’m glad I don’t have to move right back out of my house.”
I took his hand and started down the path, turning on the flashlight on my phone to help illuminate the way. “Good point. Though I’m sure Gram would have understood.”
We were almost back to the house before Jimmy spoke again. “I meant what I said. I really do love you.”
“Ah, sunshine.” I squeezed his hand. “I love you too.”
EPILOGUE
JIMMY
I allowedmy thoughts to wander as the speaker droned on and on about the bright future of the graduates sitting in neat rows on the arena floor. TJ was down there, about two-thirds of the way back on the left side, clad in a red cap and gown, tassel dangling off the right side of his mortarboard.
The last six months had been eventful. Sammy and Will got married the day after Thanksgiving as planned. Jason and Zach followed suit on New Year’s Eve. Jason officiated Sammy and Will’s ceremony, while Drea officiated Jason and Zach’s. Both events were small affairs, with just friends and family in attendance, and both events had taken place in the snow.
TJ finished his long-term sub assignment at the end of the first semester, then returned the following semester to student teach with Annette, who had, in fact, announced she was not returning in the fall. TJ had been hired as her replacement and was looking forward to officially beginning his new career in August. I was just excited to get to work with him every day.
TJ moved into the little blue house with me over spring break six weeks ago. It had been inevitable, I supposed, with the way he slept over almost every night. As with most new things, I’d been nervous, but as usual, it had ended up not being nearly as big a deal as I’d made it out to be in my head. TJ had slotted into my life seamlessly, just as he’d done in every other aspect, making me wish we’d done it sooner.
And now, here we were at his graduation, marking another milestone. His entire family was seated to my left. Ma, Trent, Tyler and his little family. All except Gram, whose mobility was slowly deteriorating, making it difficult to navigate large events like this. Aunt Lydia had stayed home with her to help her figure out how to navigate watching via livestream. What TJ didn’t know was that they would be heading to our house after the ceremony to help prepare for the surprise party I’d planned.
On my right sat Sammy and Will. Ever since TJ showed up at Sammy’s shop last fall, they’d treated him like he was one of the family. I often joked they liked him better than they liked me.
