Page 91 of Give In To Love
We turned as Jason pulled his truck into the driveway, loaded down with some of my furniture from the apartment. Zach and Drea rode along in the cab, waving as they parked and hopped out.
Perhaps this wasn’t the best time for that conversation, anyway.
“Love the house. It’s cute!” Drea said as the three of them approached us.
“Thanks. I’ll just get it unlocked, and we can get started.”
There wasn’t a lot of conversation after that as we got to work unloading boxes and furniture into the house. Around eleven, TJ ran to Casey’s and picked up a couple of pizzas. We ate them sitting on the floor since my couch and kitchen table were still back at the apartment. Jason, Zach, and Drea were going to make one more trip into the city for the rest of the furniture after we ate. Anything else that was left I would grab tomorrow when I went to pick up Lucy, do the final cleaning, and turn in my key.
I ate quietly while the others talked. Zach was in the thick of the season with the club soccer program he ran and shared how one of his games had gone last night. He had another one later this evening that he said would be a tough match.
Drea and TJ talked dance. Their students were attending a convention next weekend, so TJ would go into the studio on Tuesday to teach a couple of extra private lessons for students who would also be competing at the convention. Jason didn’t say much, interjecting here and there but mostly letting the others talk. We’d always been similar in that way.
As I sat in my new kitchen, eating gas station pizza on the floor, it hit me just how great my life was. I had a job I liked. A new house that would someday be mine to own. I had a great group of friends. I had Sammy. We might be on the outs, but I knew it was only a matter of time before we worked it out. We always did.
And best of all, I had a beautiful man who’d been unwavering in his devotion since the moment we’d started dating again. God, had it only been a few weeks? A month? It felt like we’d picked up right where we left off. I hated that I’d pushed him away five years ago. Because when I looked back, I could see it was me who made the choice to end us. He’d wanted to try to make it work, but I just hadn’t been able to see a way forward.
If I were honest, I thought the real issue was that I hadn’t believed he’d fight for me when things got hard. Because I’d known they would. And it hadn’t been an indictment on his character—he’d given me no reason to believe he hadn’t loved me and wouldn’t fight for me—but rather, it was my own belief that I hadn’t been worth the trouble. Clearly, I’d had some abandonment issues. Surprise, surprise. I likely still did.
I made a mental note to check in with my therapist this week. Between the breakup, TJ’s return, and everything else happening, I was probably due for an appointment.
Zach stood, and the rest of us followed, dusting ourselves off and picking up the trash. Jason, Zach, and Drea headed back out to the truck to head into the city, leaving TJ and me alone for the first time since we’d gotten here a couple of hours ago. He took my hand and pulled me toward the living room window that looked out over the yard and the woods beyond. The trees had dropped most of their leaves, but that didn’t matter. I still loved the view, loved having that slice of nature right in my back yard.
“I’m proud of you.” He stood with his arms wrapped around me and his head on my shoulder. I melted against him, the lingering tension surrounding all thosefeelingsI couldn’t stop thinking about easing away.
“For what?”
“For taking this next step. For pushing forward no matter what curveball life’s thrown at you. Your strength and tenacity never cease to amaze me.”
For the first time in my life, I thought I might actually believe him. That I might see what he saw. And it felt pretty damn good. I had a good life, but it hadn’t been handed to me. I’d done the work—both physically and mentally—and it was time I started owning that.
“Thank you.” I turned in his arms, tilting my head up for a kiss.
“Aw, I do not need to see my little brother sucking face.”
Just for that comment, I lingered a little longer in the kiss, tangling my tongue with TJ’s in an effort to make Sammy as uncomfortable as possible. TJ rose to the occasion, matching my energy as he brought his hands up to either side of my face. When Sammy huffed out an impatient breath for the third time, I pulled away but didn’t take my eyes off TJ, his blue eyes dancing with humor.
“You having fun?” he asked quietly.
“Damn right.”
He kissed my forehead, then turned and said, “Hey, Sammy.” His gaze darted back to me. “I’ll just go start unpacking some boxes in the kitchen.”
And then Sammy and I were alone.
I stuck my hands in my pockets, unsure what else to do with them as we took stock of each other.
I broke the silence first. “I wondered how long it’d be before you reached out.”
“Am I over or under?”
“Honestly? I wasn’t sure. You’re stubborn as fuck.”
He shrugged, knowing he couldn’t deny it. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that pissed. I wasn’t sure how long you needed to cool off.”
“Less time than you needed to pull your head out of your ass.”
“Damn, Jimmy. You’re not pulling your punches.”
