Page 74 of Give In To Love
“Just my friend?”
Unable to help myself, I brushed a lock of hair off his forehead. He’d let it grow some since I’d been back, and his curls were getting a little wilder again. I loved it. “That’s up to you.”
“I, um, I’d…love your help looking for a place.”
That wasn’t exactly how I hoped he’d respond, but I still took it as a positive that he was inviting my help at all.
“I’m done with dance classes tomorrow around two. You want to meet up after that?”
“Sure. Thanks.”
38
JIMMY
I chewedmy fingernail as I cruised down the county highway to Astaire on Saturday afternoon. I’d spent most of the morning scouting possible rentals in and around Astaire and had a list of seven possibilities to explore. If worse came to worse, I could stay at the apartment attached to Sammy’s shop outside of town, but I really didn’t want to be in his space. Doing this on my own, reasserting my independence, felt like an important step in finding myself.
The search had taken me longer than it should have, mostly because I’d been distracted thinking about what TJ had said about our friendship. He’d made it clear, for the second time, that the ball was in my court. If I wanted something more between us, it was up to me to take it. The thing was, I was pretty sure I did want it. Wantedhim.
It had felt good seeing him at school this week. Comfortable. I’d even found myself flirting a little bit without really meaning to. He brought out a playful side I’d nearly forgotten existed. One I wasn’t sure I’d ever fully allowed myself to explore.
The fact was, I was drawn to him. Always had been. Physically and emotionally. And that was the part that scared me the most. Sliding into a relationship with him would be so easy. We already had a connection. It was clear that time and distance hadn’t changed that. But what if that slide turned into a slippery slope? What if I lost myself again? I was still pulling myself out of the last relationship-shaped hole I’d dug myself into. Was it really wise to jump into another one?
Yet here I was, pulling into Gram’s driveway, picking up the very temptation I kept cautioning myself against. Sometimes, I really found myself to be insufferable.
I hopped up the stairs and rang the doorbell. Gram answered, and before I knew what was happening, she’d pulled me into her arms and enveloped me in a lilac-scented hug. Automatically, I wrapped my arms around her slight frame, returning the embrace I hadn’t even known I’d needed. When we pulled apart, TJ was standing there with a soft smile.
“It’s good to see you, baby,” she said, her eyes warm.
I blinked back my own tears. “Thanks. Same to you.”
She turned to TJ, pulling something out of her pocket. “Here are those keys you asked for. You two better get going before the rain hits.”
He took the keys from her, and we headed out to my car. In the distance, I could see darker clouds rolling in and the scent of petrichor hung heavy in the air.
“What are the keys for?” I asked as I pulled out of the driveway.
“Gram’s been slowly selling off her rental properties, not having the bandwidth to properly maintain them these days. She gave me the keys to three of them that she thought might be a good fit for you. She has a fourth, but it’s probably bigger than you’d like.”
I glanced toward him briefly before returning my eyes to the road. “That’s nice, but I really want to do this myself.” My voice held more bite than I’d meant it to.
“We don’t have to look at them. She just wanted to help. And honestly, it would be a help to her too. She’s not looking to rent them, sunshine. She’s looking to sell.”
I spotted Fred’s Diner up ahead and impulsively flipped on my signal. I turned into the lot, found an empty stall and parked, but left the engine running. We sat for a moment, the silence stretching between us, filling the car with tension.
“Sunshine?” His eyes were full of concern and confusion. “Help me understand why you’re so angry.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t know how to explain the panic surging through me. It was irrational. I knew it was. But no amount of telling myself that was making it recede.
I took a deep breath, trying to gain control over my emotions. “I don’t have the money to buy a house right now. And when I do, I want it to be somethingIchoose. Not something someone handed me tied up with a pretty bow.”
“No one’s trying to hand you anything. She said she’d love to sell, but she’d also be willing to continue to rent if that’s what you needed to do right now.”
“But you said she’s trying to unload the properties. If I’m renting, wouldn’t it prevent her from doing that? Wouldn’t it continue to be a burden for her?”
“She could still sell off the other three properties. And with you as a renter, she’d have the comfort of knowing you were treating the property responsibly.”
“Why would she do this for me?”
