Page 64 of Give In To Love
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m done being a doormat. I’m done letting you make all the decisions in our relationship. I’m done with your passive-aggressive insults and your constant need to be the center of attention. And I’m really,reallydone sitting by while you fuck your way through half the male population of Omaha without even bothering to call and let me know where you are.”
“I told you?—”
“Yes, I know what you told me. But you lied. And you weren’t even smart about it.Jesus.” I raked my hand through my hair. I missed my curls. “When you didn’t come home Monday, I texted Justin, who hadn’t seen you since trivia night. You know, the night youdidn’tstay with them after you all left the bar?”
“He’s lying.”
“Yeah, no. I don’t think so. See, I texted Chance next, and you really should have made sure the two of them had their stories straight. Chance was happy to cover for you. Said you’d stayed on their couch for the last two weekends.”
“Okay, well like I said, Justin is obviously lying. I don’t know what’s going on with those two, but Justin’s always been jealous because Chance and I had a thing a while back.”
“A while back? You mean last January? And again in June. Oh, and then there was August when the three of you hooked up for a cozy little threesome while I was at orientation for incoming teachers in Astaire. It was the middle of the fucking day, asshole.”
The blood drained from his face, then flooded back just as fast, his cheeks flaming red. And then he went on the offensive, rushing into my space, poking me in the chest. “I don’t know what you think you know, but honestly, if you weren’t such a dud in bed?—”
“Fuck you.Youare responsible foryourchoices, not me.”
“I haveneeds, Jimmy. You never want to fuck. And when I finally talk you into it, you barely participate.” His mouth twisted in a sneer. “Last time, you couldn’t even get it up.”
It was true, and I’d been so ashamed, wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn’t perform. I’d felt bad, so I’d blown him instead, and he’d gotten off even though I hadn’t. And then he’d made me feel like shit for days, making snarky little comments.
But now, I realized it had nothing to do with my ability to perform and everything to do with the way I felt about him. And if there was anything to be ashamed of, it was the fact that I’d let him put his dick in my mouth when my body had been clearly telling me what I hadn’t been able to admit to myself. I didn’t want him. It was just another thing I’d allowed, another way he’d mistreated me, and I hadn’t done anything to stop it.
Steven saw my hesitation, his eyes gleaming in satisfaction that he’d hit a sore spot. It just wasn’t sore for the reasons he thought. In that moment, I loathed him, but not more than I loathed myself for allowing it to get this far.
Steven pressed his body into me, walking me backward until my back came in contact with the kitchen island, the edge of the countertop digging into the small of my back. He shoved his thigh into my crotch while simultaneously grabbing my ass, applying enough pressure in both places to have my breath coming up short. I’d been flying on adrenaline and anger, and now that was giving way to the first signs of an imminent panic attack.
He shoved his face into mine, spitting on me as he said, “You think you’re so smart, huh? Always got your nose in a book, filling up that big brain of yours. Want to know the truth?”
“P-please let go of me,” I stammered, but he just gripped me harder. He wasn’t very big, a twink in every sense of the stereotype, but he was strong, spending an hour a day at the gym to ensure his body was in perfect shape. I was going to have bruises.
“The truth is you aren’t shit. Barely even a decent fuck. I’ll admit I was drawn to your pretty face when we first met. Remember how you used to blush so adorably?” His mouth was close to mine now and he’d brought one hand up to grip my chin, forcing me to look at him. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t catch my breath. “But that innocent little act got old real fast. Always so sad and pitiful. Always having apanic attack.” He’d said “panic attack” with a sneer, his voice mocking.
“Please,” I begged through gritted teeth. Steven released me suddenly, shoving me backward as he stepped away from me, shaking his head in disgust. I brought my hands up, hugging myself protectively as I continued to struggle to find air.
“You want to kick me out? Fine. You can live your sad little existence without me. I only stayed around this long for the free rent.”
And then, as if he hadn’t just had me shoved against a counter hard enough to leave bruises, he turned and stormed out.
I slid to the floor, doing my best to run through my breathing exercises until my vision cleared enough that I could pull my phone out. With shaking fingers, I sent a text.
I need you
31
TJ
What should have beenan hour-long drive took me forty-five minutes. After a brief text exchange in which Jimmy had given me the address to his apartment, I hopped in my car, breaking several traffic laws in my haste to get to him. I’d played out every possible scenario on my way. Had even considered calling the cops to do a welfare check, but I’d held back, thinking that if he had the ability to text, he also had the ability to make that call himself if needed.
Riddled with doubt that I’d made the wrong call, or in this case, possibly hadn’t made the call I should have, I climbed the stairs to his apartment two at a time. I gave three sharp knocks in rapid succession, calling out his name as I did so. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Sunshine
you can come in
With my heart pounding out of my chest and alarm bells clanging in my head, I pocketed my phone and pushed open the door. The apartment was quiet and dark, with the exception of one light shining out of an open doorway toward the back.
