Page 54 of Give In To Love
“No.” My eyes filled. “No. You were born to perform. You were born to be on stage. If you stay, you’ll regret it. And I don’t want to be something you regret.”
“I could never…” His voice broke as he brought his hand up to cup the back of my neck. “I couldneverregret you. Being with you is the greatest joy of my life, sunshine. I lo?—”
I put my finger on his lips, stopping him from saying what we both knew he was about to say. “I don’t know if I can do this if you say it. I don’t know if I can let you go.”
“Then don’t.” His voice broke again, a tear slipping down his cheek. “Let’s give the long-distance thing a chance. Please,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes, my own tears streaming down my face. “I can’t. I think a little piece of me will die inside every time I have to watch you go again. I don’t think I can cut myself open over and over again like that. You think I’m strong, but I don’t think I’m strong enough for that.”
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine as he let out a choked sob. We sat there like that for a while as the tears flowed unchecked down our faces. Eventually, we slid down on the bed, turning toward each other and holding on tight as we grieved the end of us.
Tears turned into kisses, at first tender, then urgent, as hands and lips and tongues mapped each other’s bodies as if trying to commit every single inch to memory. And later, when he slid into my body, his cock finding its home inside me one last time, we wept again until our orgasms swept over us, leaving us sweating and wrung out.
And then I did the hardest thing of all. I got out of bed, got dressed, and began packing a bag.
“What are you doing? Where are you going?”
“I’m going home. To Brinkley. I’ll stay the weekend and come back on Monday.” I had no idea if any of the clothing items I was packing even matched, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t plan on leaving the apartment once I got there.
“Please don’t do this, sunshine.”
I paused. “I can’t stay here and watch while you pack up your life here. Please, just let me walk away.”
He climbed out of the bed and pulled me into his arms, then kissed me thoroughly, pouring every bit of himself into it. I could taste the salt of his tears.
With what little strength I had left, I pulled myself away, hoping whatever I’d stuffed in my bag was enough because I didn’t have it in me to stay in the room a moment longer. “Thank you. For everything. I… Goodbye, TJ.”
And then I walked away from the goddamned love of my life.
PARTII
ALWAYS
26
JIMMY
“Babe! Babe! Where’s my shirt?”
“Which shirt?”
“Seriously?” Steven strutted into the room, wearing only his favorite jock and a scowl. Of those two things, it was hard to say which one I hated most. He stopped in front of where I was lying in bed, covers pulled up to my chin, scrolling my phone. I didn’t think it was possible for his scowl to deepen, but oh, look at that, it had. “What the hell are you doing? We need to leave for trivia in twenty.”
“I told you when I got home that I wasn’t going out tonight. I feel like shit.” I kept my voice calm and even despite having already told him this when I got home from school an hour ago. He hadn’t listened. He rarely did, choosing instead to ignore me or twist my words around to suit him. But pointing that out would only result in a fight, which wasn’t worth it.
“What are you talking about? You’re fine. Get dressed, or we’re gonna be late.”
I sneezed three times in rapid succession, then reached for a tissue out of the box on the nightstand. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go without me.”
“God, you’re so dramatic. You’re letting a tiny little sniffle ruin the whole night.” He rolled his eyes and stomped across the room to the closet, where I could hear him jerking hangers back and forth across the rod. “What did you do with my shirt?”
I sneezed again, then blew my nose. Lucy, my three-year-old black cat, jumped up on the bed, nudging my hand with her nose. “Which shirt?” I called out.
“You know which one. It’s the same one I always wear to trivia.”
I allowed myself the freedom of rolling my eyes since I knew he couldn’t see me. He had three times as many clothes as I did and most definitely didnotwear the same shirt every time we went to trivia. In fact, he’d once told me he’d be caught dead before he did something so embarrassing as wearing the same outfit to the same place twice. “What color is it?”
He stomped back out of the closet in a pair of pants that looked like they’d been painted on and glared at me. “You are so fucking useless.” Something caught his attention and he walked over to the chair in the corner, plucking up an eggplant-colored garment and shaking it out. “Ugh, it’s wrinkled and covered in hair from that damn cat.”
