Page 52 of Give In To Love
Jimmy himself had seemed more stressed as well. I’d come home from dance classes on Saturday to find him wrapped up in blankets asleep. He told me later that he’d spiraled into an anxiety attack after I left, and though he’d managed to get it under control, it had left him exhausted. He’d said it was just the stress of his coursework getting to him, but I suspected he was worried about the future of our relationship just as much as I was. We’d spent the rest of the afternoon curled up watching eighties movies—Sixteen CandlesandFerris Bueller’s Day Offthis time—and by Sunday, he seemed more himself.
The Monday before Thanksgiving, I was heading to meet Jimmy for lunch at the union when my phone rang. I fumbled it out of my pocket, my pulse skyrocketing when I saw it was Ms. Franklin calling. I ran up the stairs of the nearest building, stepping inside and out of the wind, and took the call.
“Hello?”
“Good morning, Mr. Sullivan. I’ll spare you from small talk as I’m sure you want me to get straight to the point. Congratulations! You got the part!”
Anything else she said after that was lost, overtaken by the thundering in my ears and the roar of my pounding heart. Could you hear your own heartbeat? Was that a thing? Because I was pretty sure I was hearing my own right now.
“Mr. Sullivan? Are you there?” Her voice held a note of humor.
“Yes. Yes, I’m here. I’m just in shock.”
“That’s to be expected. I’m going to email the details so you can look over everything once the shock wears off. The big thing to note is that they want you in Chicago for rehearsals by December first.”
“December first?But that’s a week away. And I still have finals the week after that.”
“I understand the timing isn’t ideal, but they’d like to get in several weeks of rehearsals before breaking for the holiday and then starting the tour in January. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No. No, it’s no problem.” It was definitely a problem, but I’d figure something out.
“That’s good to hear. I’m sending that email now. Don’t hesitate to reach out with questions. Congratulations again!”
“Yes, thank you so much!”
I disconnected the call, stepping back into the wind to resume my route to the union. I walked in a daze, barely noticing the blustery wind that pelted me as I went. Arriving at my destination, I stepped inside, heading toward the tables where Jimmy and I usually sat, pulling up short when I spotted him. He was partially turned away from me, his head buried in a textbook, nodding along to whatever music must have been playing in the earbuds he was wearing. God, I loved him so much.
Reality slammed into me with the force of a tornado. How could I possibly leave him? My stomach rolled with that thought just as he looked up and spotted me. The smile that lit up his face was as bright as the sun, matching the nickname I’d given him. How the hell was I going to tell him?
25
JIMMY
We leftcampus mid-morning to head to Astaire for Thanksgiving. We were having dinner at Gram’s and then heading to the Salgados’ for dessert. I was nervous about TJ and Sammy meeting for the first time, but I figured most of the worry was probably exaggerated in my head.
TJ was unusually quiet on the drive, spending most of his time staring out the window. He’d been quieter over the last couple of days, and I wondered if the lack of a call from his agent was getting to him. Maybe he was more worried about it than he let on.
Upon arrival, we were immediately put to work in the kitchen, setting the table, chopping veggies, and washing dishes from the morning prep. As usual with TJ’s family, it was a raucous affair, the kitchen filled with lively laughter and conversation that flowed right into dinner time.
With all of us seated and plates loaded with the usual Thanksgiving fare, everyone dug in. I was three bites into my turkey when Aunt Lydia asked if TJ had heard anything about his big audition. I felt him stiffen beside me and automatically put a hand on his thigh, thinking to comfort him. He wiped his mouth with his napkin and cleared his throat, sliding a quick glance in my direction before addressing his aunt. “Actually, um, yes. I, uh, got the part.”
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then the dining room erupted with excited chatter while I continued to stare at him, completely nonplussed. His mom got out of her seat and rounded the table to give him a hug. Tyler slapped him on the back. Everyone else pelted him with a mix of well-wishes and questions while I continued to just…stare.
Finally, he looked at me, grabbing my hand under the table, but I pulled it out of his grasp, leaning away from him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, eyes pleading for understanding. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“How long have you known?”
He let out a breath, deflating in front of me. “Since Monday.”
“Monday!” I shouted, immediately regretting having done so in front of his family.
“Excuse us,” he said to the room at large, then hastily grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, whirling on him the moment we stepped into the kitchen.
“Because I was scared. I’mstillscared. I don’t want to lose you.”
