Page 51 of Give In To Love
Knowing I was quickly approaching imminent release, I fisted his cock and began to stroke him as I tilted my hips up with each stroke, trying to find his prostate.
“Fuck,” he shouted when I finally found it. “Fuck. Oh shit. Oh goddamn. Jesus.” And then he clenched his jaw and his entire body stiffened as he erupted in my hand.
I followed suit, slamming home one final time and holding there as my cock pulsed inside him, filling the condom.
It was exactly what I’d been looking for. That moment when I lost track of where I ended and he began. And it was so muchmorethan I could have ever imagined.
* * *
“Are you nervous?”
We were still naked, lying in bed, curled around each other, basking in the afterglow. Jimmy had one of my hands in his and was tracing his fingers over my knuckles in an oddly soothing pattern. We both had things to do this evening. He was working a shift at the library while I was teaching a couple of classes at the studio in trade for someone covering my classes tomorrow. We should be showering off the stink of sex before we had to go back out into the real world, but I couldn’t bring myself to move from this spot.
I thought about Jimmy’s question—we were set to head to Chicago tomorrow after classes in order to be there for my meeting and audition on Friday. “Yes and no. As a general rule, I don’t get nervous for auditions. I trust my abilities as a performer, but it’s out of my control whether someone else thinks I’m a good fit for a role. On the other hand, I’ve never auditioned for something like this before, where there’s this much on the line. It’s hard to know what to expect.”
He was quiet, letting that sink in while he continued the rhythmic motion of his fingers on mine. “You’re a wonder to me. The confidence you have is astounding. Is there anything that scares you?”
Losing you. Was losing Jimmy the price I’d pay if I got this role? It wasn’t a conversation I was ready to have yet. Not when I was lying in bed with him after the best sex of my life. Not when I’d just realized I was in love with him. Maybe not ever.
So I deflected. “Spiders. Calculus. Needles. I want to get a tattoo, but I’m terrified of needles.”
“Really?” He propped himself up on his elbow to look at me. “What would your tattoo say?”
“I kind of want to get something for each of my shows. Though I’m not sure how far back I’d go. I think my first theater camp was when I was nine.”
“What would you get fromRent?”
“I’m not sure. Probably a lyric from “I’ll Cover You” or “No Day But Today.” Or maybe I won’t do a lyric at all. Maybe I’ll just get an image of the sun.”
He stared at me long and hard, his eyes flickering back and forth between mine, and then he leaned in and kissed me. It was deep and slow and filled with emotion, and when he pulled back, his eyes were moist, though he blinked a couple of times in an effort to clear them.
“I think that’s perfect,” he whispered. And then, as if a switch had been flipped, he pulled away and climbed out of bed. “I have to shower,” he said, pulling on a pair of sweats and grabbing his towel and shower supplies. He gave me a weak smile as he shut the door behind him, leaving me alone in the room.
And why did I suddenly feel the need to cry too?
24
TJ
Our tripto Chicago was a whirlwind. Gram insisted on helping to pay our way, which meant we were able to afford a flight and a hotel in the city rather than making an eight-hour drive and finding a hotel somewhere in the suburbs.
It was Jimmy’s first time on an airplane—his first time anywhere outside of Nebraska, actually—and he spent most of the ninety-minute flight with his face pressed against the window, even though there wasn’t much to see with it getting dark so early this time of year. We stayed at a hotel right in the Loop, not far from several theaters and the offices of the Windy City Talent Agency, where I’d be meeting with Ms. Franklin. She’d sent some paperwork to look over ahead of our meeting, and I was ninety-nine percent sure I was going to sign with her.
After figuring out how to navigate the L from the airport into the city and checking into our hotel, we ventured out for a late dinner, grabbing Italian Subs from a little shop down the block. Completely exhausted, we collapsed into bed, luxuriating in the space a queen-sized bed afforded us rather than the twin we squeezed into in the dorms.
I woke up extra early ahead of the meeting, unable to sleep in with all the adrenaline coursing through my veins. Despite what I’d told Jimmy about not getting nervous, I had to admit I was a little anxious about today. It wasn’t every day you signed with an agent and went on your first audition for a professional touring show.
As it turned out, things could not have gone any smoother. Ms. Franklin was warm and friendly yet professional, putting me at ease, and my audition felt like it went well. I was competing against other professionals with more experience than I, so there was no telling whether I’d actually get the part, but for my first professional audition, it felt like a success.
Jimmy and I celebrated with dinner at Geno’s East. Maybe we should have splurged for something fancier, but deep dish pizza was so classically Chicago, and we were not fancy people, so it felt right for us.
We showered together, making out and jacking each other off as the hot water pelted us and the bathroom filled with steam, then climbed into bed to watch a little TV and wind down. We fell asleep halfway into a rerun ofThe Office,wrapped in each other’s arms.
* * *
A little over a week later,I got the call.
Our visit to Chicago had been lovely, but as we were nearing the end of the semester, there were projects to complete and practicum hours to acquire, which ate up most of our time. These distractions were welcome as I struggled to balance my desire to hear the audition results with my desire to avoid confronting how it might affect my relationship with Jimmy.
