Page 44 of Give In To Love
I chuckled. “You liked it, then? It was worth taking a thirty-minute break?”
“Most definitely.”
20
JIMMY
I wasn’tsure how TJ was keeping it together. Show week arrived, and if it weren’t for the fact that I felt him climbing into bed each night, entangling his limbs with mine and snuggling into my warmth, I would think he wasn’t sleeping at all.
One day at lunch, as he was stuffing a sandwich into his mouth while simultaneously trying to type a paper, I asked him how he was managing it all. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end, flashed me an absent smile, and told me his whole life had been like this. His family had been constantly on the go between his brothers’ activities, often doing homework in the car and grabbing food from a drive-thru. As someone who’d been a homebody most of his life, it was hard to wrap my head around.
On Wednesday evening, they had a friends-and-family preview night ahead ofRent’s opening the following day. Despite the fact that TJ had an early call time and wouldn’t be able to join them, his family had insisted I go out to dinner with them before the show. It had been a noisy affair that not only included his immediate family but a couple of his cousins, his aunt and uncle, and Mrs. McGee—Gram, she’d insisted I call her—as well. Everyone talked over each other as they ate, laughing and ribbing each other, and surprisingly, I felt right at home with them.
We arrived at the theater about ten minutes before showtime and found our seats in the center section near the front. I had never been to a live musical before, not even in high school, so I really had no idea what to expect, but from the moment the lights came down and the music started, I was riveted.
For the next two and a half hours, I was no longer in Omaha or even Nebraska. I was transported to the East Village of Manhattan, watching Roger and Mimi fall in love, Maureen and Joanne fight it out, and Mark worry over his future. And when Collins lost Angel, singing about covering him with kisses, I wept along with everyone in the audience. Nothing had ever moved me the way this show had.
And watching TJ perform blew me away. He had a gift. The other actors were talented, to be sure, but TJ’s performance was on another level. When his character thought he had lost Mimi at the end, I was so invested in his performance that I felt every emotion right along with him. I had no doubt TJ could make his Broadway dreams come true if that was what he truly wanted.
I just didn’t know where I fit in that scenario.
We waited outside the theater in the lobby area, standing in groups among all the other friends and families of the cast. I thought back to that day in August when he’d dragged me through the building, showing me the spaces that fueled his soul.
In many ways, he’d terrified me that day, this brash, larger-than-life man with no respect for personal space and a smile brighter than the sun. I’d felt impossibly small in his presence, shy and unsure, and utterly awkward compared to his confident, happy attitude. I’d instinctively shied away, knowing I could never hold my own with a guy like that.
He’d since shown me I was wrong, and Gram had been the one to point it out. Just because I didn’t have a big personality and a smile bright enough to power the entire campus didn’t mean I didn’t have other things to offer. On more than one occasion, I’d been the voice of reason when TJ had a wild idea about something. I’d reminded him about things he’d forgotten, which, as it turned out, he had a habit of doing. His keys. His wallet. Assignment deadlines. Exam dates. I was levelheaded when he was spacey. Calm when he was too wound up. Organized when he was a human tornado. Gram had said I’d bring him back to Earth when he’d flown too close to the sun, and I thought maybe this was what she’d meant.
There was a commotion near the hallway to the side of the theater as the cast began to make its way out to meet their loved ones. Not being particularly tall, I stood on my tiptoes, anxious for a glimpse of my boyfriend. I finally caught sight of him just a moment before he saw me, and when our eyes caught, he lit up, his smile taking over his entire face.
He pushed through the crowd, ignoring his family in favor of scooping me up in a hug and lifting me right off the floor. He was sweaty and still wearing heavy stage makeup, but I didn’t care. Nothing mattered in that moment other than absorbing his absolute joy.
“You were amazing, baby,” I said into his ear. “I had no idea.”
He pulled back, looking at me with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Are you saying you doubted me?”
I pinched his arm. “You know that’s not what I meant. I just had no idea what to expect. You were…the whole thing was better than I could have imagined. But you… I’m so proud of you.”
He kissed me, then, right there in front of everyone. Turned out, I didn’t mind.
* * *
I sawevery show the rest of the weekend. I couldn’t stay away. Olivia came one night, just as she’d promised. TJ’s mom and aunt came a second time. But for the rest of the shows, I sat alone in whatever single seat was available. Seeing him perform opened an entirely new facet of him. One I’d known existed but couldn’t wrap my head around until I’d witnessed it in person.
Night after night, show after show, he poured everything into his performance. And then, after, he’d be so hyped up that it would take him hours to fall asleep.
It all caught up with him the week after the show when he caught a bug and crashed hard.
I came home from class on Monday to find TJ buried under a blanket and miserable. There was a pile of tissues on the desk next to his bed. His cheeks were flushed and the tip of his nose was red. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, “I’m sick.” Only it came out “I’m thick” because he was super congested.
“I can see that,” I said, dropping my backpack on the floor next to my desk. I shrugged out of my jacket, crossed to where he lay, and placed my hand on his forehead. “I think you have a little bit of a fever.”
“You should probably keep your distance. I don’t want to get you sick.”
“I’ll take my chances. Have you eaten anything?”
“Not really. Every time I tried to get out of bed, my head throbbed and I started shivering uncontrollably.”
“Poor baby. Why didn’t you text me? Did you even make it to any of your classes today?”
