Page 11 of Something Good
He flashed a grin that melted my insides and cooled a little of my irritation, and said, “Relax, dude. I was probably the only one who noticed. It’s just that most of the time you were so happy-go-lucky that the times you got worked up kind of stood out.” His smile fell and his voice softened as he looked down and said, “At least they did to me.”
We sat like that for a while, his eyes averted to the rock we sat on and mine looking straight ahead into the endless stretch of trees. The silence loomed between us. It was awkward anduncomfortable in a way it never had been with us, and though I hated it, I was once again at a loss for how to fix it.
Maybe I needed to stop seeing this as a situation I could fix. Maybe our friendship had been broken beyond repair and maybe I just needed to let it go. Lethimgo.
“When did you know you were gay?” His voice, his words, shot through me like I’d touched a live wire. I snapped my gaze to his, my eyes widening in shock and my pulse picking up steam.
“What?” I asked, my voice cracking on the single word. How could he possibly know that? I hadn’t told anyone, not even back in Grand Island.
“You’ve been back what? A couple of weeks? Girls throw themselves at you, yet I never see you with one, never even see youlookat one. But I see the way you look at me.” His mouth tipped up in a smirk, his eyes sparkling with a kind of knowing triumph.
I’d seen him at the pool a few times since I’d gotten hired there. I’d been unable to keep my eyes off all that lean muscle as he’d fucked around with Jimmy and another kid I didn’t know, tossing each other around and splashing in the water. I didn’t realize he’d caught me looking.
Stunned, I didn’t bother to deny his comment, instead spluttering out the first question that popped into my head. “You’ve been watching me?” God, I liked the thought of that, even as his observation terrified me. I liked that he wasn’t as indifferent to me as he acted.
“So you’re not denying it?”
“Have you?”
“Have I what? Been watching you?” He shrugged, feigning indifference, but I saw the flash of heat in his eyes. “You’re hot,” he said simply like it wasn’t a big deal.
But it was a big deal to me. I wanted Sammy to want me just as much as I wanted him. I wanted him to feel as unbalanced and off-kilter as I did. But as I looked at him, with that smug-as-fuck smirk, his posture casual and relaxed, I wondered if this was nothing more than a game to him. A way to get back at me for fucking everything up between us all those years ago.
“Jesus, Sammy. Is this all just a joke to you?” I stood on top of the boulder, looking down my nose at him as I shook with emotion. It was a mix of frustration, fear, and need, and I felt all those things so fiercely that I didn’t know how to contain them. He rose to stand in front of me so we were face to face with just a few inches separating us.
I was pleased to still be a bit taller than him. It somehow made me feel like I had the upper hand in a way I hadn’t yet felt with him since I’d been back. He’d kept me on an uneven keel, but in this way, I felt a little bit steadier. “You don’t get any more pieces of me. My life isn’t a game.”
I started to turn to make my way down from the boulder, but Sammy’s hand shot out lightning-quick, grabbing my shirt and pulling me back toward him. His eyes met mine, burning with intensity, and every thought I’d had fled. We were so close to each other that I could feel a puff of his breath against my lips, see each individual golden fleck in his chocolate-brown eyes.
It was probably only a second, but it felt like time stopped as we stood there, chests heaving, lost in each other’s gaze.
And then he pressed his lips to mine.
Blood shot straight to my groin as I opened my mouth on a gasp. Sammy took advantage and dove in, his tongue tangling with mine, searching, seeking… I wasn’t sure for what, but I met him stroke for stroke, marveling at the feel of him, at his taste.
Dimly, in the back of my mind, it registered that this was my first kiss. The fact that it was with Sammy seemed so perfectly devastating. I thought maybe some of the anger had burned outof him after what had happened with Jimmy today. I knew we were still a long way from being friends again, but I didn’t want this to be just about sex. Not with Sammy.
It could never be just about sex with him. Feelings wouldalwaysbe involved, at least on my end. And for all I knew, he was just fucking with me, playing games like I’d said. I didn’t know how to read him anymore. Didn’t know how to protect myself from the onslaught. Yet, I couldn’t seem to make myself move. I was so caught up in the feel of him.
He groaned into my mouth, grinding against me, and I realized he was just as hard as I was. I’d never experienced the thrill of having another guy’s erection pressed against me. It sent a jolt through my system, my own cock becoming impossibly hard in response.
Sammy caught my lip between his teeth, the little bit of pain shooting straight to my dick. He pulled back slowly until he finally released it, shooting me a cocky grin. He reached out and grabbed my erection through my shorts, gripping it almost painfully. I whimpered in response.
“Looks like I got my answer.” He gave my dick one last squeeze, and before I could even register what had just happened, he climbed down and took off down the path.
Heat surged through me, my anger roaring back to life as I realized what he’d just been playing at. I was angry—furious, actually—and a little bit humiliated. I wanted to hate him. But underneath it all, I realized that all he’d done was make me want him even more.
And that…thatI could only hatemyselffor.
6
SAMMY
It had been a dick move,kissing Will like that, but I was kind of a dick, so it was on-brand. I hadn’t been sure he was gay, but my gut had said so, and I’d gone with it. I was grateful for his help with Jimmy today, but there was still some part of me that wanted to fuck him up a little, ruffle his feathers. I wanted to see those pretty lips a little red, his hair a little disheveled, his shirt a little rumpled.
What I hadn’t counted on was my own reaction to him. I hadn’t thought kissing a sexually repressed, type-A golden boy would send my pulse skyrocketing and my heart thumping as I struggled not to come in my pants. He wasn’t even a little bit my type. I tended toward other outcasts like me, kids who lived on the fringes, scraping out an existence, just trying to stay one step ahead of whatever bullshit they dealt with at home. I sure as shit didn’t mess with preppy jocks who had perfect teeth and drove a brand-new Jeep. My reaction to him had made me uncomfortable, so I’d grabbed his junk and ruffled those feathers a little more.
I kicked up my skateboard, hopped up the steps of my house, avoiding the spot where the concrete was cracked and crumbling, pulled open the storm door, and shoved inside.
