Page 9 of When He Saved Me
“Eh. It was all right. Another day in the life.” I strode toward my bedroom at the back of the apartment to change before heading back out for my gig at Ivory. Carmen had stayed with me since the breakup, and the evidence was littered about my room. A pair of heels lay half underneath the corner chair where she’d kicked them off after a presentation last week. A cardigan and a pair of skinny jeans were tossed across the same chair, and a pair of pajama bottoms and an oversized T-shirt were tossed on the unmade double bed. I strode past all of it to the tiny closet, pulled out the black slacks and button-down I typically wore for my piano gigs, and laid them out on the bed.
I stopped in the bathroom to take a piss, washing my hands while trying not to knock her makeup off the tiny sink, then moved back to the bedroom to dress.
As much as I preferred solitude, I didn’t mind Carmen’s presence in my space. It was what she needed, so I didn’t question it.
I pulled on my pants and shirt, making efficient work of the buttons. I only had twenty minutes before needing to leave for Ivory, so I didn’t have time to fuck around. Carmen strolled in behind me, a steaming mug of tea in hand. “Did Jamie come in today?”
I paused on the last button before finishing it and reaching for my belt. I’d mentioned Jamie yesterday in the midst of my worry and had regretted opening my mouth immediately. Since Carmen was living a more solitary life at the moment, she’d diverted her attention to my social life, which I so rarely had use for. She was like a cat who’d caught a mouse, and I didn’t like being under her scrutiny. I couldn’t hide anything from her. She knew me too well.
“Um, yeah,” I said, chancing a glance at her before moving to the closet to grab my black dress shoes and pull socks from my dresser. She didn’t even bother to hide her smirk behind her mug.
“So? Did you talk to him?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
I didn’t have to look at her to know she’d rolled her eyes. “What did he say?”
I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed to put on my shoes. She wasn’t going to let this go. “He asked me out. I said no.”
“I knew he had a thing for you! Why’d you say no?”
Finished with my socks and shoes, I turned to look at her. She was sitting in the corner chair with her legs tucked under her. She held her tea as if about to take a sip but was looking at me with confusion.
Exasperated, I responded, “He’s not my type.”
“Not all rich kids are assholes.”
I raised one eyebrow.
“Okay, some of them are. You, for example, but not all of them.”
“I’m not an asshole because I grew up rich. I’m an asshole because I don’t like people.” I got up, tossed the clothes I’d changed out of into the hamper, then walked over to Carmen and kissed the top of her head. “I’ve gotta go.”
As I turned to go, she reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping me. I looked back at her, eyebrows raised in question.
“Don’t miss out on a chance at love because you think you don’t deserve it.”
“Love?” I scoffed. “He asked me out on a date, CiCi. Probably because he likes a challenge. It wasn’t a marriage proposal. And you know I don’t do relationships.”
“Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why don’t you do relationships?”
I tried to tug my hand out of hers, but she just held on tighter. “I don’t have time for this, CiCi. I have to go.”
“Just answer the question. Why don’t you do relationships?”
“You know why,” I said, exasperated. Why was she doing this now?
“Tell me.”
“Because I’ve spent my entire life taking care of myself. I don’t know how to do anything else. Tobewith anyone else. I’m just…better off alone.”
She squeezed my hand, this time a gesture of comfort. “You’re not really alone, you know. You have me.”
I softened my features. “I know.” I didn’t know why, but from the time she’d stumbled into my life, she’d been by my side. She’d been the only one who’d stuck.
