Page 47 of When He Saved Me
I’d gotten my curls from him, yet he never wore his hair long enough to let those curls show. He wouldn’t dare allow his hair to be anything other than perfectly neat, so he kept it trimmed short. The last couple of years had added a bit of salt to his pepper, but it only served to make him appear more dignified.
I knew better.
For all his appearance of class, he was nothing more than a cold-hearted, opportunistic snake. He pulled people into his inner circle in the way one might gather first aid supplies in case of emergency. If he thought there might be something to gain in acquainting himself with you, he cultivated that relationship, becoming your most valued friend. And when the depth of your usefulness had been wrung out, he discarded you like an apple core in a compost pile.
It didn’t matter if that person was his only son.
He glared at me as if my presence was offensive to him, as if the fact I still existed on the earth was too great a burden for him to suffer.
“Father,” I said as I moved to pass him by.
He shifted, completely blocking my exit. “What thehellareyoudoing here?” he gritted out, jaw tight, teeth clenched.
“Merry Christmas to you too,” I responded with a smile, infusing it with every bit of disgust I could muster. “I believe that’s no longer your business.”
I stepped forward again, attempting to pass him. We were standing in the doorway between the hallway and the kitchen, and while there weren’t any guests mingling in this part of the house, I still didn’t think Dad would want to risk catching anyone’s attention with this little chat he was trying to have.
“I’m assuming since you never came crawling back to my house, you’ve decided to live your gay fuckboy lifestyle?”
The assumption that I was a fuckboy was laughable. I’d been too busy trying to keep myself alive and off the streets to have time to be any sort of fuckboy. The assertion that being gay was anyone’s choice was just ignorant.
“Fuckboy? Jesus Christ, Dad. You really never knew a damn thing about me, did you?” I sneered at him, letting my disgust show. “Awfully bold of you to accuse me of being a fuckboy, considering you’ve probably slept with at least half of the women at this party.”
“Now listen here, you ungrateful little shit. I don’t know what you think you know about me, but you don’t know a damn thing.” He gave me a once-over, looking me up and down from head to toe, no doubt finding me lacking. “I can’t believe I raised someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“I gave you everything you could ever want. Sent you to the best schools. Paid for years of those damn piano lessons. Paid off admission counselors at Northwestern to get you into a good law school. And what did you do? You threw it all in my face so you could what? Be some pussy who fucks men?”
Adrenaline surged through me. “For fuck’s sake, Dad. It’s not a choice. It’s who I am. And frankly, I don’t give a shit whether you approve or not. I never wanted to go to law school, never wanted to be a partner in your practice, and I sure as shit didn’t need you to pay off admissions counselors.” I was seething with rage at this new revelation. “All I ever wanted from you was for you to pay attention to me. Listen to me. Support me. Love me. But you’re not capable of any of that, are you? You’re not capable of loving anyone but yourself.” I shook my head, absolutely disgusted that any part of this person’s blood coursed through my veins. I wanted nothing to do with him ever again. “You made it clear how you felt a long time ago. Now let me pass.”
He crossed his arms, his stance wide, continuing to block my path.
“Why are you here? What do you want from me?” he demanded.
“Jesus, Dad. You are such a conceited, arrogant asshole. Why do you assume my presence here has anything to do withyou? I’ve lived on my own for years now, without you and without Mom. You know what I want from you? Not a goddamned thing.”
Deciding I’d had enough of this entire evening, I shoved past him, bumping his shoulder with mine as I passed. I expected some sort of rebuttal or snarky comment as I walked away, and when it didn’t come, I couldn’t resist turning to look back at him one last time.
He stood in the doorway, staring at me, eyes wide in shock as if he couldn’t believe someone had stood up to him. Shaking my head, I made my way through to the kitchen, picked up my check, and walked out.
CHAPTER24
JAMIE
When midnight cameand went and I hadn’t heard from Finn, I started to worry. When it passed one a.m., I added frustration to the mix. By two, I’d entered into a state of agitated panic. Had something happened? Was he okay? Had he been hit by a drunk driver? Had he gotten into a fight with his father and been arrested for assault? He had said he’d call. I thought we’d gotten past the stage where he closed himself off from everyone, or at least where he no longer closed himself off from me. Was he avoiding me? Was he shutting me out?
Why hadn’t he called?
Frustrated, I tossed my phone on my bed as I paced my bedroom. I ran my hands through my hair for what seemed like the hundredth time, the strands long since pulled free of their bond.
I’d had a really lovely evening crammed into Aunt Cathy’s minivan with my mom and my cousins, sipping hot cocoa and looking at the lights. My mom and my aunt shared stories of Christmases from their childhood, and we all laughed at the retelling of the time Uncle Bill dressed up as Santa one Christmas Eve, only to show up at our house to find my dad had also dressed up as Santa. There had been a lot of confusion from the kids and quick thinking from the adults to explain that one without giving away any of the magic.
It had been so nice to laugh with my family and have an evening that felt normal for maybe the first time since my mom’s diagnosis, but underlying it all was a layer of worry over what might be going down at Finn’s gig. Usually so stoic, it had pleased me that he’d reached out to me, but I hated the reason that had necessitated it.
Having been raised in a household surrounded by love and constant support, it baffled me that anyone could treat their child the way Finn had been treated growing up. Children deserved nothing less than unconditional love. To be mostly ignored his entire life, only to then be tossed out simply because of his sexual identity, was a damn travesty. They didn’t deserve a moment of his thoughts, and I vowed to love him enough to make up for it.
My phone buzzed with an incoming message, and I lunged for it.
