Page 24 of When He Saved Me
CHAPTER13
FINN
The week followingThanksgiving flew by in a blur. With the holiday season fully upon us, I was working almost nonstop. I’d seen Jamie briefly a few mornings when he’d come into The Daily Grind, but each time, we’d been slammed and I’d only managed a few words as I’d handed him his coffee order. He’d come in to work between classes a couple of afternoons, but I knew he was on end-of-semester deadlines, so I hadn’t wanted to bother him. I knew he could have found a place to work on campus, but he chose the coffee shop because I was there. I hated how much I loved that.
Still, it seemed every time I started to doubt the wisdom in pursuing any kind of relationship, no matter how casual, during such a busy time, Jamie’d send me a text just to let me know he was thinking of me. Sometimes it was a meme, sometimes a GIF, sometimes just a line or two of text. Nearly every time one of those messages came through, I’d roll my eyes, even as my pulse stuttered in response. I’d found myself frowning at my phone on more than one occasion because several hours had passed and I hadn’t heard from him.
What the hell was wrong with me? Since when did I care how often a guy, or anyone really, texted me? I started leaving my phone behind the register rather than carrying it in my pocket just to prove I didn’t need constant interaction. I was already starting to become addicted to those little messages. What would happen when I was actually able to spend time with him? What would happen when he inevitably decided I was too much work to continue to pursue? Would I survive the withdrawal? Or would I spiral out like a junkie badly in need of their next fix?
Better to avoid the addiction altogether.
And then…I’d eventually cave and check my phone to find that he’d sent three more messages, and I’d be right back to where I started. I was starting to suspect I’d never be able to quit him.
While my days were spent at The Daily Grind, my evenings were spent at Ivory. One of the other pianists had gotten sick, and they’d asked me to pick up a couple of extra nights in addition to the two I already had booked. One of those had led to three more bookings for private parties later in the month. I was thrilled at the money coming in. At this point, my tires would be paid off by the end of the month and I might even be able to set some back in savings rolling into the new year.
By Saturday night, I was fucking exhausted. I hadn’t managed more than five hours of sleep a night for the last week and wasn’t sure how much longer I could maintain at this pace. Thankfully, Ivory was closed on Sundays, so while I was scheduled for an afternoon shift at the shop tomorrow, at least I’d be able to sleep in and still have most of my evening free since my shift at the shop was relatively short.
I was sipping a Manhattan off to the side of the crowded bar between sets when I caught sight of Jamie across the room. As he removed his wool peacoat, I took stock of him. He wore a fitted charcoal sweater over a button-down that he’d paired with black slacks. His dirty-blond hair was swept up in his usual man bun, and he’d grown out a bit of scruff in the last week. As I watched, he unbuttoned the cuffs of his sleeves and pushed the sweater and button-down to his elbows, revealing his toned forearms. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear as he sat, his back to me. Two guys who appeared to be about our age took seats next to and across from him, but his attention was elsewhere as he scanned the room. I assumed he was looking for me, and that knowledge came with a little flutter of nerves that I wasn’t used to experiencing.
I never got nervous when I performed, but I suddenly felt anxious at the thought of performing forhim. The lead bartender caught my eye, nodding to the stage, and I knew my time was up. It was probably for the best that I didn’t have a chance to overthink it any further. I finished off my drink and headed toward the stage.
I didn’t want to look at him as I took my seat, but I couldn’t help myself, and when we locked eyes, he gave me a wink. I rolled my eyes, instantly more comfortable, and dove into the set, starting with “Last Christmas.” He barked out a laugh, the sound carrying over the din of glasses clinking and chatter, and I was glad he got the joke.
As one Christmas tune gave way to another, my gaze kept wandering back to Jamie and his friends. God, he was beautiful. When he threw his head back and laughed, eyes sparkling with mirth, I was captivated. Fortunately, my fingers played with a mind of their own because I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Lust coiled hot in my belly. Now that I’d given myself permission to consider pursuing something with him, I wanted him. Desperately. It had been a long time since I’d fucked anyone, let alone someone I actually felt a connection with. I was terrified, even as I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if the opportunity presented itself.
I finished my set with a jazzy rendition of “Sleigh Ride” before announcing I’d be back in ten. I nodded to the bartender as I made my way over to Jamie’s table, bracing myself for the inevitable small talk I knew I’d have to make with his friends. God, I hated that, but I knew I should make an effort. It wasn’t like I didn’t know how. It was just exhausting after doing it all day at The Daily Grind. Jamie was a raging extrovert, so I supposed this was something I’d have to get used to.
Dating someone was a pain in the ass.
Jamie rose from his chair as I approached, brushing a soft kiss against my cheek and gesturing toward the open seat to his left. Courtney, one of the regular servers, slid a Manhattan in front of me before slipping away to check on another table.
Jamie made the introductions. Sitting to his right was Asher, who looked so different from the photo I’d seen at Jamie’s house that I hadn’t recognized him. He was tall, but where he’d been rather lanky in his pictures, he’d definitely filled out since. He wore black-framed glasses and his short dark hair was neatly styled. He was objectively attractive, in a nerdy professor sort of way, with his navy sweater worn over a button-down and tie. Any jealousy I’d felt died as I saw the way he looked at his fiancé. Their hands clasped on top of the table, Joshua returned the same adoring look before bringing his gaze to me, openly curious.
Shortly after introductions were made, Asher stepped away to the restroom while Joshua signaled Courtney to bring their check. I took the opportunity to lean into Jamie, saying, “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
“Is it okay that I’m here? I missed you.”
“Yeah, um, I’m just not used to having anyone come to hear me play. Carmen has come once or twice, but that’s pretty much it.”
He seemed genuinely shocked by that. “Really? You’re amazing.”
I was pretty sure I blushed at the compliment, but I ignored the heat in my cheeks. “I’m not exactly loaded with friends. Who would come to hear me?”
Something passed over his face. Was that pity? For fuck’s sake. I didn’t need his pity. I rolled my eyes. “Relax. I don’t need or want a ton of friends. It’s not a big deal.” I tossed back half of my Manhattan, searching for a way to change the direction of the conversation. “So what’s the deal with Asher and Joshua? I thought you said you were helping your uncle with his Christmas lights and then working on a big paper you have due?”
“I did help with the lights, yeah, but Asher and Joshua came into town and wanted to take me out to dinner, so I suggested we come here after.” He leaned in a little closer. “I wanted to show you off.”
“You told them about me? I thought we were taking it slow. We haven’t even been on a date yet.” A knot of panic formed in my gut. It was bad enough I’d already met his whole family before we’d actually been on a date, let alone meeting the best friend/ex-boyfriend. That implied a seriousness I wasn’t yet ready to contemplate.
“He’s my best friend. I tell him—”
“Hey, guys.” We both turned to see Asher and Joshua standing behind their chairs, tugging their coats on. “We’re going to head out. It was good to meet you, Finn.”
Jamie hopped out of his chair, reaching over to shake Joshua’s hand, then leaned in to hug Asher and whisper something in his ear. Logically, I knew there wasn’t anything between them, but they had a history, and my gut churned at the intimacy of the moment. Their presence here, all three of them, left me feeling confused and agitated. I slammed back the rest of my drink and pushed my chair back to stand.
Wordlessly, I turned to head back to the stage, leaving the three of them behind me. I knew I was being rude, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to continue our conversation and my break was up anyway. I felt a hand on my elbow, but I shrugged it off and kept walking. I took the two steps up to the stage and settled in at the piano. Without looking at Jamie, who I knew was still standing there, I dove right in with “O, Holy Night.”
