Page 16 of All This Love
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I gaveall my niggas dap as we prepared to leave the Airbnb. I’d told them all more than once that I appreciated them coming to Golden Waters with me to try and get back at Ivan and his crew. They were skeptical to leave. Especially Rob, but I assured them they could go back to Charlotte. Rod was making great money, but he also had the clientele back in Charlotte to make great money there. None of my niggas felt it was smart for me to send them back home and dead the beef with Ivan on my end. I gave them the news an hour after they shot up his trap house. The shit was funny, but I was for real deading it. Ivan wasn’t worth anymore of my time or energy.
Of course, if he came at me then I’d do what I had to do, but I wasn’t going out of my way to taunt him anymore. My homies had lives that they had to get back to in Charlotte. Scarface ended up in the hospital due to me shooting him. Mont was dead, and I had punched Ivan three times with everything I had in me. That was good enough for me.
There was always the chance Ivan would find me or simply spot me out and get on his best bullshit. And if that happened, I’d have to handle it. I wasn’t sure what kind of spell Tatum put me under, but I thought of her numerous times a day. She neverreally questioned me and always went with the flow. In the past, I had dated females that had one or a few traits that made me aware that I couldn’t tolerate them past a physical level. It wasn’t like that with Tatum.
She didn’t trust easily, and after everything that happened, I could understand why she didn’t just randomly give people her address. She had trusted me though, and my dumb ass dropped the ball.
“You sure you don’t need us to stay for another three or four days?” Rod implored making me chuckle.
“Nah, I’m good. I’m not even worried about that pussy. Nine times out of ten, I know he’s going to want some get back, but I’m not stressing in the least bit.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. I’m gon’ miss this Golden Waters money for sure, but I don’t do too bad for myself in Charlotte.”
I gave a brief nod and watched them all take suitcases and bags out to the car. The moment they were gone, I sat in the living room and rolled a blunt. I really wasn’t supposed to smoke in the Airbnb, but it was what it was. I sucked weed smoke from the first toke into my lungs and thoughts of Tatum plagued my mind. I couldn’t shake thoughts of her for shit, and it was starting to piss me off. She was cool, but I didn’t even know her like that to be stressing her so hard.
Before I got robbed, moving to Golden Waters was on my mind heavy. I wasn’t going to let the situation with Ivan stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I wasn’t running from no nigga. Being in Golden Waters and not being able to see or talk to Tatum was the thing that was bothering me. If she chose not to forgive me, then that was something I would have to live with. I made the decision to stay with my father until I wanted to get a place. I had money saved to be able to secure a place that same day, but he had the room and didn’t mind if I stayed for a monthor so. I was sure when he got ready to entertain a man if he had one to entertain that he’d go to dude’s house. It would be dope to spend more time with my pops and see him on a daily basis for a change. I was still learning the ins and outs of the shop, but running it seemed as if it would be simple enough.
I had some weed to sell, so I drove around the city and made my plays because getting people to meet me at my father’s house was a no no. I never let anyone come to my home to get weed unless it was family or an absolute day one. If I didn’t hustle from my own crib, I’d surely never bring it to my father’s door. I made a few hundred dollars then stopped to get something to eat. By the time I got my belly fully and filled up my gas tank, it was dark out. When I arrived at my father’s house, I saw a car out in front that didn’t belong to him, so I knew he must have had company.
Of course, my father had homeboys. I had no way of knowing what kind of company he had, and I didn’t want to intrude. Just as I was about to text him and ask him if I should stay gone a little longer, a figure emerged from the corner of the house and walked down the driveway toward the car. It was dark out, but enough light shone from the streetlight for me to see the nigga’s face and when I realized who it was, heat radiated through me.
Jumping out of the car with my gun in hand all bets about deading the beef were off. I was going to kill the fuck out of Ivan. He jumped from shock when he noticed me. Pressing the barrel of my gun to his head, I snarled at him. “You just don’t fucking quit, do you?”
“Fuck is you talking ‘bout?” he asked in a shaky ass voice. “Man, I’m not bothering you. We already fought. I’m minding my business out here, and you want to kill me and take me away from my kids over what? Some money and a necklace? You following me and shit?”
“Following you? Bitch nigga, I live here.”
Ivan’s eyes were wide with fear, and he was visibly trembling. I was about to accuse him of bringing harm to my father when the porch light flipped on. If my pops was in the house safe and sound then that could only mean one thing. This nigga was fucking with my father…
The next afternoon, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal when my pops came in the house wearing his mechanic overalls. When Ivan left, I was stumped. Stumped as hell. I sat in the car and smoked a blunt until I was faded as hell and could process things a little better. It didn’t take me long to decide that maybe I wouldn’t live with my father for a month or so. I wasn’t sure I could take seeing his sneaky links coming through and shit. Knowing my pops dealt with Ivan threw me for all kinds of loops for various reasons.
My father glanced at me before walking to the fridge. “I guess we should talk about last night.”
“What you do is your business.” It was a good thing my cereal was pretty much gone because just that fast, I’d lost my appetite.
“I know that. And I tried to be mindful of you coming, but I didn’t know what time you’d be here. More important than that though, I didn’t know Ivan was the person that robbed you. Had I known that, I would have got a hold of his ass myself.”
Too late. It took a lot of effort for me to keep the frown of disgust off my face. “I had already decided to dead the beef. I saw him at his baby mama’s house and beat his ass. Even though it’s about the principle and not what he took, I decided it wasn’t worth going further than I’ve already gone. When I saw him leaving though, I thought he ran up in here on some get back shitand did something to you. Good thing I didn’t shoot first and ask questions last, or he’d be dead as hell right now.”
“Yeah well, I had a talk with him, and he’s willing to act like he never met you. The nigga is scared to death you’ll out him, so you’ll never even have to worry about him making eye contact again if he does run into you. He finally got the money he owed his plug. Shit, he might want the plug to go ahead and kill him now since he’s been outed.”
I heard plenty of people say that they didn’t choose to be gay. They were born that way. In my opinion, I didn’t think anyone would choose to be gay and risk being shunned and ostracized. There were a lot of things about homosexuality that I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t meant for me to understand. I loved my father, and I didn’t judge other people for what they did. I was just happy my ass wasn’t born gay. Having to hide who I was and what I liked would have been some exhausting shit.
Ivan was a shitty person, and I was sure his homies knew that. They didn’t stop hanging around him or do him dirty when he got them to rob me and not split the money. But I was willing to bet my last if they found out he was gay, they’d turn on him faster than I could blink. In the hood, a person could be a rapist, pedophile, killer, addict, but don’t let his ass be gay. That was where people drew the line. I saw that firsthand with my father.
“I’ll probably start looking for a place this week.”
My father chuckled. “You can do whatever makes you comfortable, but I got caught once with my ass out literally. I have a thing about going to people’s homes. I either want to be in my own home or a hotel room. It’s not even like I have company on a regular basis. I really be chilling for real. But while you’re here, I won’t have anybody over. I couldn’t pay Ivan to bring his ass back over here,” he laughed. Honestly, I didn’t think my father was embarrassed that he’d been ‘caught.’ He seemedpretty comfortable living in his truth. But, it was still probably weird for me to have actually seen one of his niggas.
What was even crazier than me having sex with my enemy’s baby mama was my enemy having sex with my father. That shit was mind blowing. Thinking of Tatum stressed me out. I had never been the type to run my mouth. As much as I hated Ivan and had no respect for him, his business was still his business. Ordinarily, I didn’t feel it would be my place to out him to Tatum. I was almost certain that she’d never have sex with him again, but shit happened. People spun the block on their baby mamas and baby daddies all the time. What if she decided to fuck with him again not knowing he liked boy pussy? Or he liked giving up boy pussy…
I couldn’t even front. A nigga was glad I’d never had unprotected sex with her. Downlow niggas were out here messing it up for everybody. Women could get diseases from straight men too, and while Tatum struck me as the type to get checked regularly, I had to let her know. It would bother me too bad if I didn’t. I was also glad I chose to play it safe with her. I finished eating and washed my dishes.
Chuckling, I couldn’t believe Tatum had me nervous. I had to smoke a blunt before I texted her and let her know that I needed to talk to her ASAP. All I could do was try. If she didn’t respond, I could either leave well-enough alone, or I could just show up at her job. I wasn’t going to pop up at her house the way Ivan did. If she didn’t talk to me at her job, then I’d chalk it up to the fact that maybe she wasn’t supposed to know her baby daddy was gay as hell.
