Page 111 of The Art of Being Merry
“My guy squeezed me in this morning as a last-minute Christmas surprise for you.”
“You got a tattoo for me? As a Christmas present?”
“Yeah. You can remove the bandage. Just be careful. It’s tender.”
With nimble fingers, she peels back the bandage, quarter inch by quarter inch, slowly so as not to disturb the tattoo or cause me more pain. The bandage is halfway removed when she gasps.
“You didn’t.”
“I did.” I smile, because yeah. It’s fast and reckless, but it’s also right. I know and feel it deep in my bones. She’s the woman I’m supposed to spend my life with.
“Dax. You got my name tattooed on your chest. In permanent ink.” Her shock causes her to jump off the couch, leaving the bandage still half stuck on. While she paces, I remove the rest. “But why?”
“The other one was fading. I needed a touch-up.”
“Then you should have told me, and I would have done it again. With body markers, not permanent ink. This one won’t wash off.”
“The guy at the shop implied otherwise,” I jest. Clementine stops her pacing, staring at me, a mask of unreadable emotions on her face.
“Why?” she repeats. “Why my name?”
I climb off the couch, standing in front of her, tipping her chin up with my finger. “It’s you, Clementine. You’re the one I’ve waited for. Why I’ve never had an inkling to settle down. Why none of the others would have worked out. Hell, to even get too involved or attached. Because no one else is you. And you’re it for me.”
She shakes her head in disbelief, my finger falling from her chin. “You can’t know that. It’s only been a few weeks.”
“When you know, you know.” It sounds cliché, but in my case,it’s accurate. I can’t put into words how I know, but I do. She’s the other half of my heart, even when I didn’t realize I was looking for it.
“It’s good now, sure, but what if things go bad? What if you decide I’m not worth it? What if having an instant family isn’t for you?”
“Things might be temporarily bad. Nothing’s perfect one hundred percent of the time.” I close the short distance she put between us. “You’re worth it. You’re worth everything. I’ll prove it to you every day.” Another step backward for her and forward for me. “You and your boys are it for me. Well, maybe not completely. We may have to add members.”
“How much beer did you drink tonight? Do you know what you’re saying? What you’re agreeing to?”
“Not a drop, and I know exactly what I’m saying. I’m saying I’m all fucking in, Clementine. And in case you need proof, here it is.” I point to the tattoo of her name, careful not to touch it. “I’m agreeing to a life with you, with your boys, with us all together. However that looks. We take it slow, or we keep going at the pace we’ve set. You decide. You’re the driver. I’m lucky to be along for the ride.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes, her brain processing everything I’m telling her. “I don’t know what to say,” she finally whispers.
“Say you’re in, and we’ll go from there.” I’ve never felt the motto “go big or go home” more than I do in this moment. Because this is me laying it all on the line. Giving myself to her. Letting her know where I’m at.
And she could easily turn me down. Tell me to go to hell. Question my sanity.
All three would be appropriate, and with the way she’s biting the skin around her nail, her face etched with worry, my heart rate kicks up about how she’s going to answer.
When I had the brilliant idea of making her tattoo permanent, I didn’t question it. I didn’t ignore my gut telling me it was the right decision. I did it, leaning into how right being with her feels.
No amount of time we spend together is enough.
Our chemistry is electric and off-the-charts.
She’s the first person I think of in the morning and the last at night.
She’s the one I want to share any news with, good or bad.
When I envision my future, she and the boys are what I see.
After what feels like forever, an all-encompassing grin slides onto her lips. With a shrug, she exclaims, “I’m in. Crazy or not, I’m all fucking in.” I don’t have time to process her words before she leaps into my arms, grabs onto my face, and melds our lips together.
It’s like coming home after a long time away and Christmas morning wrapped together and tied with the prettiest bow.
