Page 13 of The Monster of Hotel No. 7
I am eager and alive in the fresh air, the cool chill of early fall dancing over my cheekbones, whispering across my lips. It feelspleasanthere, away from my dungeon of a room and the glow of the lab. And the idea of catching up to her coming near…it has the numbness of tingles shooting through my veins.
I blink in the shadow of the night; there are few streetlights on Ritual Drive, considering we are all trying to hide who and what we really are. But the wind catches on her beautiful laughter at the same moment I spot her in Cosmo’s arms; her long, blonde strands hang in pale sheets as he spins her beneath the closest lamp post, her chin tilted up, throat exposed as she lets him twirl her round and round. He is dressed in jeans, an orange shirt, and the color is contrasted with her white and black outfit in a way that momentarily mesmerizes me. So much of her skin is visible, too; long, tanned legs, the planes of her stomach, the arch of her neck.
I stop breathing for a moment as she laughs louder, a brash, noisy sound, and Cosmo slows his movements; neither of them have seen me yet.
I keep my head bowed beneath my black hoodie, gloved hands in the pocket. Despite the cool temperatures, I feel the clammy stickiness of sweat along the back of my neck, thanks to the high-collar shirt beneath my top layer, the black jeans, and thick black socks under my high-tops. They help with the lacerations on the bottom of my feet.
A burst of wild anger erupts through my brain as I think of it; the way she is so free and exposed, and I am imprisoned from wounds even when I have managed to escape.
I stalk toward them faster but on quiet steps as Cosmo slowly drops her to her feet and keeps his arm around her shoulders to steady her. She is shorter than him, and therefore I am far taller than her. I could snatch her off this street and hide her in my shadow and not even Cosmo would be able to find her again.
But when I am so close I can see the frilly white tops of her socks and the goosebumps on the back of her thighs, I do not grab her like I’d love to.
I am scared of what I would do to her; if she became parts of a jar inside my lab, what fun would that be? She couldn’t speak to me, laugh in my presence, tell me everything about her spoiled little life.
But I am also terrified to see her recoil from me if I did something less rash and tried to begin a crooked friendship. I do not know how to have those; I’ve never called anyone 'friend' in my life. And if she somehow agreed to be mine, what would I do after? I have never touched someone intimately. I have never kissed, even, despite Maude’s imaginary offer.
I am experienced in violence and horrors, and I can take a beating, but I am a virgin in every other way.
The last time I was hugged was eleven years ago, by my mom, the night before she…
I shake my head, clenching my jaw tight as I stop walking, eyes closed.
My pulse is beating against the inside of my brain, and I feel as if I may explode. Scream at the top of my lungs and beg for her to see me, touch me, talk to me.
But if I did, Stein would kill me over the embarrassment and perhaps before he even got home to do it, the look of disgust and dismissal in her eyes might slaughter me first.
“Sullen?”
My eyes snap open, my entire body tense as she calls out my name as if she's spoken it many times before.
Cosmo hangs one step back, no longer touching her, and she has her fingers in the ends of her hair, like she is clutching a blanket, other hand in a fist at her side.
Her deep blue eyes are so vivid in the night and the black lashes framing them so long, looking at her face is better than any type of scientific experiment I could conduct in my lab. Any removal of blood from roadkill, slice of a snake’s scale. Any macabre invention I could create, she surpasses it all. She would be better than any doll, any toy.
She is...so pretty.
There is a small crease between her light brown brows, and her pink lips are parted as she stares at me, waiting for me to speak. I feel Cosmo glaring my way and I can sense his tense body, like he will beat me to death if I come closer to her.
I don’t move, but as the silence stretches between us,shetakes a step towardme.
“Karia—”
She silences Cosmo's protest with a wave of her hand, letting her hair slip between her fingers as she does, her eyes flashing as she looks at me, but I know it’s directed toward him.
“Sullen?” she whispers again. “Do you…want to walk with us?” Her voice is rough, like she is scared, and her hand is still lifted to keep Cosmo quiet.
I glance at him and find green eyes glaring at me, his entire body radiating hostility.
I take a quick breath as I look to her again.
I open my mouth.
No, I only want to walk withyou.
That is what I want to say, but nothing comes. My mouth stays mute and my eyes on her and I want to cross the two feet between us but she is still now and if she saw the scars along my body and the worse things under my skin, she might…
I turn around.
