Page 103 of The Monster of Hotel No. 7
Sullen isn’t the only one with problems, even if most of mine are self-inflicted.
As I drink, I note the fact we’ve left the downtown core of Alexandria and now we’re taking a curving road lined with orange and yellow leafed trees towering over us on either side of the street, the sight of fall making me feel alive.
Or maybe that’s Jameson doing its job.
Either way, I start to take another drink, but Sullen grabs the bottle and cap roughly from my hands, sloshing alcohol over us both, the scent strong in the car.
The cab driver says nothing as I turn to Sullen and watch him screw the red lid back on, his eyes still on me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hiss, clenching my fingers into fists. My nails are aching, I don’t even want tolookat how ruined my manicure is, and my shoulders still hurt. “That’s the second time you’ve taken that from me and that’s two times too many.”
“You’ve had enough.” There’s something rough in his voice as he turns to look out the window, black leather gloves curved around the handle of the bottle, held tightly in his fist.
“I’ve had enough when I say I’ve had enough.” I reach for the bottle but I can’t tug it from his hold. “Give me this back.” The snarl leaving my lips isn’t feigned. I will slap him if he doesn’t let go. It’s not even the alcohol that I’m fighting for. I don’tneedit, but I think I deserve it and either way, he shouldn’t be the one to take things from me. Maybe that’s the drunk me talking, maybe I wouldn’t mind if he took other things from my body but not this.
I attempt to twist the bottle in his hand, pulling and tugging, but he doesn’t look my way and he doesn’t appear to be under any stress keeping the Jameson easily away from me.
“Let.Go.”I reach up and grab at his bandana, curling the white fabric in my fist as I jerk his head around, forcing him to look at me.
His eyes narrow and he glances down at my hand around his disguise.
“I’ve been naked in front of you and you’ve bitten me, put a needle in me, and licked my blood from my face. You ate glass from my skin. Yet you can’t even takethisoff when you’re around me. You’re not used to anyone wanting you back? Well here I am.Get fucking used to it.”I tug at the soft fabric of his bandana. A belligerent feeling of hopelessness is welling up inside of me and I don’t want to face it.
He only talks to me in sporadic bursts. He won’t open up unless I’m splayed out for him. He won’t communicate, and we just keep running. Even if we get to this hotel, what then? They’ll look eventually, if they’re not waiting for us already. And we got lucky with Maude; she must be a good person, like Cosmo and Sullen both believe her to be. But I’m not, and pretty soon, my luck is going to run out.
I crawl my fingers down to one triangular edge of the white bandana. If I pulled justhere, I might unravel the entire thing.
Sullen’s nostrils flare.
“Give it to me, or I’m taking this as payment.”
“Why?” he asks quietly.
“What do you meanwhy?”I’m practically shrieking, and I don’t care who hears me now. “Because I want tosee you.I. Want.You,Sullen. Not Cosmo. Not Fleet.” He flinches when I say his name, then wrinkles his nose. “Not Von.You.”
He studies me carefully. Then he says, “Just when I start to believe you are smarter than I gave you credit for.”
I lift up my middle finger. I don’t care if it’s childish. Fuck him.
He glances at my hand, and I swear I see him bite back a smile before I drop it.
“This isn’t fair.Youaren’t fair. I have crushed on you foryears,and now I’ve finally got you here, stuck with me, and you are just as closed off as you always were. Your father isn’t here to punish you for speaking to me—”
“He is not my father,” he says coldly, his eyes locked on mine.
“And yet youstillwon’t talk. You threaten me and hurt me and fight for me, but you won’t speak to me and if that’s how you’re going to be,Iam going to level the playing field.” I twist the scrap of fabric between my fingers to indicate precisely what I mean as I hold his gaze, giving him another chance.
“Careful, Karia,” he says quietly, never looking away from me. “There are some things you can never unsee.”
“I’ve alreadyseenyour throat!” I explode, twisting fully to face him, my knee pressing over top of his thigh. I know I am drunk and erratic and losing it, but I mean every word I’m saying. “I’ve seen the words in your skin and the scars on your abs and I want to see all of you. I want to seemore.I want you without all of thisshityou put in the way of us and I want—”
“I don’t give afuckwhat you want, Karia.” He turns to me then, grabbing my wrist and twisting, yanking my fingers from his bandana. “This is all a delusion in your head. A nice little vacation from your regular life. This isn’t high stakes for you. This isn’t something you’ve had to live with for twenty-three years. You were interested in me because I was an oddity. Because Ididscare you.” His voice is lower than I’ve ever heard it. He yanks my hand closer, and I lean toward him in the seat, completely involuntary.
His gaze drops to my nails again, and I follow the path.
There’s blood crusted on the outside of one, another was bent clearly in half, a line cracked through it from the way I scrabbled for the wall back at the Emporium. Two more are jagged edges, broken off from my fight. I’ve never had nails this bad probably in my entire life, most of the polish chipped and flaked away.
His chest is heaving but he doesn’t look back up at me, his thick, dark lashes grazing his cheekbones.
