Page 214 of Like Grim Death: Part One
I’ve never forgotten it washerwho distracted the 6 enough to ensure Sid escaped Sacrificium with Jeremiah. Her and her smoke bombs.“Hello, Daddy.”Those words echo in my head, crawling a chill down my spine.
Sheis the reason Sid got away. Lucifer might have killed his dad, but would we have been able to murder all of our parents before they subdued us? I’m not so sure.
The memory contrasts sharply with the smallest evidence of exhaustion I see now on Brooklin’s perfect face. Smudges beneath her eyes, little lines around her cheeks, like she isn’t hydrated or hasn’t slept in too long.
“Brook,” I whisper, wanting to touch her. Hug her, kiss her forehead, tell her I’m so sorry. I want to start over. I want my sister back. And if that means entertaining this idea that someone istryingElla that I don’t know about, I will. “What do you think is going on?”
Her plush lips curve upward, but she shakes her head. “If you don’t think there’s anything,” she concedes, “maybe there isn’t. I just wonder what hell Mom endured to become one of them.”
I know what hell she endured to stay that way.I think of my dad towering over her. The dealings he had with thirteen-year-old girls.
But Mom kept that secret. She wasn’t a victim. She was just as responsible as he was. Some base part of me hates to think it, but shedeservedto die.
My gut clenches, and I wonder if Brooklin was better off on the streets than where she could have ended up, in bed with older, preying men like Sid was.
But I push those thoughts aside and think of Ella, instead. Somethingisoff with her and not just the fucking bizarre threesome we just had.
There’s the weird text from Atlas—who I shouldn’t have left her alone with, but I meant what I said when I did—all of her workouts, her strange sleep schedule. But when would she be alone with Atlas aside from tonight? Or Lucifer? The times wouldn’t work out. There are very few chances they’d have to be together without me or Sid knowing about it. Atlas has skipped out on some Council meetings, sure, but I know Lucifer has recently been checking the cameras on the street as an extra security precaution. He’dknowif someone was…
Checking the camera on the streets.
Didhesee what happened to me, with Father Tomas? If so, why wouldn’t he say anything?
A prickle of unease is sharp along my skin, like something beneath my fingernail.
Brooklin’s eyes come to mine and a frown graces her lips. “What?” she whispers.
But maybe he didn’t see it. It’s not like he goes over the footage all the time. Only if the guards insist there’s something he should see, I’m pretty sure. I mean, this is a thing I lethimdeal with.
He didn’t see it. He certainly would have asked me if he did, considering it happened so close to where Rain was sleeping.
“Nothing,” I answer my sister, holding her gaze.
“How often do you miss him?” she whispers, not looking away from me. There’s a tingling sensation in my chest with her question, with the change of subject like she’s just beendyingto ask, because I know who it is she’s talking about. “How often do you remember his eyes? His smile?” Her throat rolls. “His laugh?” A small one of her own escapes her lips, but it’s tinged with the thickest grief as her eyes shine.
I fold my arms over my chest, clasping onto my forearms, like I can hold back the agony that way. “Brooklin.” It’s the only thing I can say.Don’t. Please don’t.
She smiles sadly at me, her eyes wide as she blinks. “I can’t get it out of my head. I don’t think I’d know him, if I saw him today. If he was alive, somehow—”
“He’s not, Brook,” I cut her off, because I can’t bear to go down this magical line of thinking. “He’s dead—”
“If he made it, and I saw him on the street, at a party, in a grocery store…” Her chest rises, rises,rises.Tears stream down from the corners of her eyes, but she doesn’t wipe at them. “I wouldn’t recognize him. I wouldn’t know him for who he was. I barely remember him, some days. Do you know that? It’s like holding onto a… a ghost.” She almost chokes on the word, closing her eyes tight as I watch her heartache glisten on her cheekbones. “It’s like I forget, once, there were three of us in that house.”
My breaths are shallow as I watch her cry silently. I want to get up. I want to hold her. But if she pushed me away, I couldn't take it.
I don’t move, but everything she says, it’s the same for me.
I barely remember you, buddy. I can’t grasp onto the exact color of your eyes. The shade of your skin. The way your hair would turn brighter in the sun. I have nearly forgotten you, and it kills me.
But at the same time…I am so glad you are not in this life. I am so fuckinggratefulyour death means you don’t live inthis.
I don’t speak that out loud to Brooklin.
She doesn’t say anything else to me.
And for long moments, we sit in silent mourning until my phone buzzes at my side and I see Lucifer has texted me.
Luce: Come down. It’s our only night of freedom, lover boy.
