Page 191 of Like Grim Death: Part One
“A life for a life.” He sucks the skin on my neck, and I know it’s going to leave a mark. “But I’m not sure she’ll prefer living, where she’s at. Then again, she was always so fucked up.”
I think about the drugs he’s been giving me. I feel a little sick. And before we saw Lucifer, he passed me another. My mind is hazy, and paranoia seeps under my skin.
“You’re not so different. She is beautifully naive too. I see some of her in you.” He licks me again, the cool air filtering in where his warm tongue was. “And right now, just like I did with her…” He bites me harder, a whimper leaving my mouth as I try to push him away again. “I want to bein you.”
I shove him.Hard.
His hands come to his sides as my fight cuts his words off and he pulls back but doesn’t stumble. He’s surprised, his mouth open, eyes wide. He swipes a hand over his hood, knocking it back, showing me the word etched in pink on his hat.
Amator Mortis,in Gothic letters. Lover of death. Mavy taught me that in his poetry.
“I’m not Natalie.” My words are shaky, my palms still held up to keep him away. “I don’t even know what is happening with you two but I’m not her. You knew what this was. You knew what it wouldn’t be.”
His hands are by his sides again, and his face is expressionless. I wrap my arms back around my chest, averting my gaze.
“Why are we here?” I feel small, and my voice reflects it. “What’s going on? What happened to her brother? What did you want to tell me last night?” I ask without looking at him. I don’t know what’s going on inside his head. I stupidly assumed he was the safest of all of them. “Did Samson know something? Real? Something he saw?”
Now the cherry red pill he gave me in the darkened hallway has me wondering, and my mind is… lifting. I feel myself rising higher and higher, and it’s hard to explain, because I’m standing right here.
“Look at you, brave girl. Catching onto all our secrets,” he says with venom. “But they have nothing to do with me and you. I just assumed since you followed me up to my room, you wanted to do more than ask stupid questions.”
I snap my gaze up to meet his.You told me to come here you stupid fucker.“Fuck you.” I turn on my heel and dart my hand out to reach for the door, flipping the lock.
He grabs my wrist and spins me back around, holding tight enough for the bones to rub together.
He still has that same eerily calm expression on his face. “Fuck me?” he repeats, like this is a game. “Fuck.Me?”He steps closer and I try to yank my wrist from his grip, but he pins my arm back against the wall, then does the same to my other arm, keeping me still. “Do you think you’re going to live happily ever after withhim?”
“You don’t care.” I don’t say the words petulantly. I mean them. This isn’t a Sid, Lucifer, and Jeremiah love triangle. I wanted a manufactured one, but I knew I’d never fall in love with Atlas and whatever he’s using me for, it isn’t love either. I like him, and I care about him, and maybe I could love him as a friend. But anything more than that?My heart belongs to Maverick. Isn’thewhy I’m doing all of these things?
Atlas smiles. It’s not a nice thing. “What if I started to? What if I wanted you?”
“You don’t.” I keep my voice even.
“Look at me.”
I inhale through my nose, feeling hot and flushed. I should’ve gotten into that fucking pool with Maverick, despite what he said. He’s so secure in his position, so sure no one will fuck with me because of him, even when he’s not around, that he left me alone. I shouldn’t have followed Atlas. I shouldn’t have come here.
I pick my head up, meeting Atlas’s dark gaze.
His fingers flex tighter around my wrists as he ducks his chin so we’re eye to eye.
“You hate yourself, don’t you?”
A protest is on the tip of my tongue, but he shakes his head. Just once.
“Maverick wants control. He always has. It fucking kills him that Lucifer is Dominus.” Atlas tilts his head.“He. Hates. It.”He enunciates each word clearly, hissing them out. I don’t believe him, but his venom is real. “Then you come along. Red fucking riding hood, Ella.” A smile curves his lips as my temper rises. “And you were so. Fucking. Easy to manipulate.” His words are against my mouth. I can taste the pain he’s trying to cut me with.
But what I don’t know is… “Why are you being like this? This isn’t you. What happened to you? What happened to Natalie? Where is she? Who was there last night? What did you want to tell me?”
“And you let him control you. And use you. And you let him fuck around with Sid, and you—”
“I didn’t. I didn’tlet—”
“Didnothing to stop him.”His laugh is jagged on my lips, and it silences my protests. His hands come to my hair, fingers spearing through the strands, against my scalp as he stares at me. “You didn’t put up a fight. Just now. You might have whined and fucking complained, but what did you reallydo,Little Red? You saw Lucifer, then you didn’t even have the guts to tell him what happened, huh?”
“Where. Is.Natalie?”I ignore all of his other questions, all of his taunts.
He exhales a ragged breath, his lips touching mine. “She’s okay, baby. Don’t worry about her.Worry about you.”
