Page 298 of Ominous: Part 1
I can’t keep lying on her.
I sit up, one hand still gripping her arm as I yank up my boxers and my pants with the other, still unbuttoned, belt undone, the skull and crossbones of my tattoo visible.
Her eyes are closed, her lips pressed together, her arms still limp at her sides. Her face is pale, save for my handprint edging along her jaw, her temple, her cheekbones.
Her lashes are clumped with water, thick and beautiful, her hair slicked away from her head.
Another sound leaves her lips, pale and blue.
I roll off of her, pulling her up into my arms, holding her close, her head pressed to my chest, her knees between mine, my legs extended and hers tucked underneath her. She’s like a ragdoll, possessed with a vibrating fear.
“Eli.” Her voice is muffled against my chest. She’s not touching me. She’s not reaching for anything. Her arms dangle at her sides.
I won’t do it again.
“You wanted it,” I say instead, more urgent, angrier. I kiss her head, tasting chlorine, feeling how cold she is.“You fucking asked for it. Isn’t this the shit you dream of? You should be thanking me.”
Her teeth are chattering, but I still hear her weak words. “Fuck you.”
I tighten my hold along her back, lips to hair, eyes closed. “Yeah, fuck you too.”
She doesn’t stop shaking.
I hate this.
I hate me.
I hate her.
“You’re not leaving me.” She has to know.
I hold her so close, her face dampens my shirt, and it sticks to my skin.
“I don’t care if you’re scared. Don’t leave me.”
She laughs. It’s jagged and wrong. My anger grows over my fear. I wrap my arm around her neck, forcing her to stay with me, forcing her body still.
“I always come inside of you,” I tell her, my voice low. “I can make you stay.”
She buries her head further against my chest. “Fuck you,” she says again, her voice muffled and wavering.
I smile. I can’t help it. Her trembling is growing less violent, less catastrophic. “I’ll keep you.”Whether you like or not. I won’t let you go.
She doesn’t say anything. Her shaking is still there, butless.
Say you’ll stay. I’m happy with you, don’t you know that? I’m fuckinghappy.
Nothing.
She says nothing.
I keep my aggressive hold on her, and I realize I’m rocking back and forth, too. I’m shaking too. Nervous energy, it doesn’t have an outlet. I can’t hurt her, I can’t kill her, I can’t let her go.
I hate this. It’s your fault.
I take a breath, ready to beg if I have to. To say anything at all, anything she wants to hear, even if I don’t mean it. But before I can speak, she does.
“Get off of me.” Her words are low, still on my skin, against my chest. But she says it again, and it’s so much louder, and so much angrier.“Get. The fuck. Off of me!”She pulls away, and I grab at her, but she shoves me, hard, then jabs her fingers into my throat.
