Page 258 of Ominous: Part 1
He said he held onto that laugh in his head.
Mom said nothing. She walked away, like she didn’t want to talk about it.
I was in the pool. They were in the kitchen, but the screen door was the only barrier between us.
I’ve always been very good at hearing and seeing and sensing things I shouldn’t.
“You think it would hurt me less, coming from you?” I ask Dad when he still doesn’t react to my laughter.
He glances at me but doesn’t pick his head up. “Does it hurt?”
“You sound like Dr. Langley.”
“So, you’re not going to answer me, because you don’t answer Langley, either, do you?” There’s a hint of exasperation in his tone, but he tries his very best to hide it.
I rest my elbows on my bent knees, phone dangling from my fingers between my lap. “I’m not sure how many times I have to tell you, Dad.”
He takes a deep breath with my last word.
“I don’t wantanythingto do with Mom unless she’s coming.Back.”Something strange happens to my voice, but I ignore it. I hold Dad’s gaze.
“She loved you, you know?” It feels like an insult, the way he says it. “Her leaving had nothing to do with you—”
“And everything to do withyou.”
His brows pull together, a deep crease between them. “If I could change anything, Eli, you know I would.”
I drop my phone and get off my bed, needing to move. To stand. I drag my fingers through my hair and turn my back on Dad. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“You need to, because if you don’t, son, it’s going to keep eating at you.”
I glance at the glass of water on my nightstand. I picture my hand swiping through it, sending it crashing and shattering and splintering to the floor like the picture of Mom and the boy, the photo she sent framed, thinking I’d actuallywantit.
How long are we going to do this dance, Mom?
I don’t want you anymore.
Not the way I can have you.
I don’t want pieces. You know I like everything whole.
I pull at my hair, hands still on my head, and I don’t move. “There’s nothing more to say.” I keep my voice low. “Reading her letter when I will never respond is useless, right?”
Dad grasps at straws. “What if she apologized? What if she explained everything to you—”
I spin around, hands by my sides. “You explained everything to me. Just by watching the both of you,I saw the explanation.You’re overbearing. She’s cold. I’m not right.”
Dad shakes his head, pulling a hand from his pocket and gesturing at me, hopelessly. “Don’t say that, Eli. You are everything we could’ve wanted. I daydreamed about becoming a father with Ari—”
“She hated when you called herAri.Did you ever know that?”
He flinches, like I hit him. His mouth closes, I see his throat roll over the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. “I… It was just a habit.”
“A habit she hated.” It feels good, driving it in a little more.
“Eli.” He says my name like someone might saypleaseorI’m sorry.
“How many other things did you not see, right in front of your fucking face?” I throw my hand up, wanting a fight.
